Jermain Defoe partner

Jermain Defoe names ex-Tottenham ace as his best ever strike partner - and it's not Robbie Keane Former Tottenham striker Jermain Defoe has heaped praise on Robbie Keane, Dimitar Berbatov and Peter Crouch from his different spells in north London with Spurs Jermain Defoe has had encounters with Chloe Green (2012) and Casey Batchelor.. About. Jermain Defoe is a 37 year old British Footballer. Born Jermain Colin Defoe on 7th October, 1982 in Beckton, London, England, UK and educated at Idsall School Shropshire, England, he is famous for English Footballer. Jermain Defoe has urged strike partner Alfredo Morelos to stay at Rangers and become a 10 In A Row-busting hero.. A question mark hangs over whether the Colombian will still be at Ibrox alongside ... On 7-10-1982 Jermain Defoe (nickname: Garfield) was born in Beckton, United Kingdom. He made his 20 million dollar fortune with England national football team, Tottenham Hotspur & Toronto FC. The football player is dating , his starsign is Libra and he is now 37 years of age. Here below we have the names and photos of Jermain Defoe bothers and sisters. Have a look. Brothers: Jade Defoe; Sisters: None; Jermain Defoe Wife & Girlfriends: Another vital part of human life is life partner husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. Everyone has a wish to have his partner most beautiful, loving and caring. Elaine McElhatton posted on Twitter: 'My partner was one of the police officers who attended Jermain Defoe's accident last night. 'He did this wee video for our son! The man is an absolute gent. Jermain Defoe. Defoe has had his issues with injury since England’s last game whilst Emmauneal Adebayor finding form in recent weeks has prevented him from getting serious first team action, only playing 243 minutes in the 5 games he has played, playing the full 90 in two of these games. Channel: News - Jermain Defoe NSFW? Claim. 0. Browsing All 172 Browse Latest View Live Mark channel Not-Safe-For-Work? cancel confirm NSFW Votes: (0 votes ... Jermain Defoe's varied relationship history from Danielle Lloyd to Joanne Beckham, as latest lady is revealed. Bible-bashing Sunderland player’s WAG team included Alexandra Burke and Imogen Thomas. The brother of England football star Jermain Defoe may have been killed by a friend who accused him of burgling his house, it emerged today. Jade Defoe, 26 - half-brother to the £15million ...

442 Brexit football Guide - How to Bully Your Way Up to Div 1!

2019.06.06 17:22 JohnnyCupcakes 442 Brexit football Guide - How to Bully Your Way Up to Div 1!

Are you already bored of scoring all your goals from OP first time 180 shots from the edge of the box? Well look no further I'm here with yet another Meta-Breaking FIFA guide for you virgins to dig your eyes into.
We're going to cover all topics on how to make the most traditional 'English style' team someones ever seen. In other words, Brexit means BREXIT. For the entirety of this post you must refer to it at FOOTBALL, even as an american.
Step 1 - The Club
If you're playing fut, start a new club. Brexit players aren't very expensive at all. Name your clubs something along the lines of 'English Defensive League (EDL)', or 'Smash it up 2 llorente'. Anything to show who's side your on. Make sure you pick a team badge and kit along the lines of Burnley or Stoke City. Show your opponent what side of the fence you're on. Along this line you want the most garbage Sunday league stadium you can find. Remind your hot shot prem players where they came from. Edit: Almost forgot. Get yourself a manager! Dyche, Hodgson, Pulis, Mourinho all work out fine in the system.
Step 2 - The Team
You wanna shoot for as many Big, Fat, or Bald cunts you can get in your squad. Bonus points if their white (no racism intended). Just sign thugs that look like they know how to lay in a proper leg snapping challenge Sunday mornings out at the local field.
Your best playecaptian should be your targetman. This is a MUST. Preferably 2 is better but its personal preference. They're the most important players on the pitch. Look for a striker along the lines of Peter Crouch, Andy Carrol, Tom Pope, ect... Someone who'll be wearing that Brexit badge with pride. Next signing you should be making is the mandatory Lee Cattermole in the midfield. Nothing says brexit more than this lad. On the sides you want nothing but pace and crossing. And in the backline ensure yourself some experience. Ide recommend Shawcross to help lay in some leg snappers and long balls for you
Step 3 - The Tactic
Now you got your pub team ready, I'll run down the basics for you. 442 EVERY DAY. It's been proven the best formation ever for thousands of years. The name of the game is to smash the ball up to the targetmen all game long. You can either run 2 targetman (stay central/targetman) or 1 and another ST (stay central/get in behind). If you decide to go this modern style ide recommend a secondary striker along the lines of Wayne Rooney, Jermain Defoe, or Vardy. This persons job is to take down knock ons and bash em in.
Now heres how the game goes. Simple but effective. If the ball is on ANY defender, its an instant Long ball to the targetman, from which he will knock it down to his striker partner to turn into an attack. If the ball is at the CM's, play whatever way you want (route 1 if you're a real man). And if the ball happens to fall to the wingers. You stick to running that down the line and bombarding it into the box. No questions asked. If the ball dear touches a wingers leg it must result in a cross. This attack is not just effective, it's diverse (something this FIFA lacks). Teams will have no idea how to stop you.
Now on defense there is simply no rules. Stay behind the ball and make sure you challenge it EVERY single time. This is where your midfield tank comes into play (lee cattermole) and runs right into your opponents legs. Win the ball back no matter how many fouls you get and smash it right up to the big man. Rinse and repeat until you have the lead. When you do get the leed keep playing until the last 20 minutes or so, which at that point you should just hoof the ball into the opponents corner constantly.
CT: I just have drop back with 2/3 depth. And have long wall with full width.
Instructions: I mentioned before the ST's. CM's stay back on edge. LM/RM just stay wide. And every player on aggressive interceptions. It'll help with the tackling.
Variations of this tactic have proven to demolish tiki-taka teams every single time. Just like both of this years champion league semi finals
Here's my team for reference
This was just a quick guide that I might revamp and critique but I hope you enjoy and UP THE BREXIT
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2019.05.20 23:26 venkys-out Fitba Roundup: SPFL Gameweek 38

As the Scottish Premiership draws to a close and the play-offs reach their conclusion, so too does my role of bringing the results, highlights, and (most importantly) patter from all divisions of the SPFL to this subreddit. Let’s get stuck in.

Scottish Premiership

Second Phase: Relegation Round

Saturday 18/05/19

Motherwell 3 - 2 Livingston
This may have been the most inconsequential of all this week’s games, but it was surely up there with the most entertaining.
Before kick-off former Motherwell player Wes Fletcher carried on their pre-match tradition of producing ‘interesting’ social media content. After being voted (very unofficially) by fans as Motherwell’s worst ever striker, he responded by calling his manager at the time, Mark “get that tae f-“ McGhee, a fat c-
The Steelmen absolutely flew out the blocks, with Liam Donnelly scoring in the opening 10 minutes, before young talent extraordinaire doubled the lead, and scored a penalty to make it 3-0 all before the half-hour mark.
Before half-time, Livi had a penalty of their own, but Mark Gillespie did well to deny Ryan Hardie, and Motherwell quickly surged upfield, with David Turnbull being brought down for a third penalty of the game. His penalty wasn’t good enough to land a hattrick that would have taken him to 16 goals for the season, and somehow an insane passage of play ended up without a goal.
The second half was quiet, until… enter Scott Tiffoney. The 20 year old was subbed on, and, with 80 minutes played, set about scoring twice within a minute. The stage was set for a Motherwell collapse, but Livi could not find the winner, despite Dolly Menga going close.
Motherwell were on a downward spiral this season and finishing with 51 points, their highest in 5 years, is commendable. I should also pass on my congratulations to defender Richard Tait, who finished 5th in Eurovision just hours after this performance. Meanwhile, there is little more to be said than that which I have said already about Livingston - a phenomenal season, but they will have it all to do again next year.
Dundee 2 - 3 St Mirren
The situation for St Mirren was relatively simple, beat the worst team in the division, and hope the team above you can’t beat the best team they could face. If that happens, the relegation play-off is avoided. Of course, true to any team that has spent the majority of the season in the bottom 2, they made it as difficult as possible for themselves.
Cammy Kerr opened the scoring for Dundee in the first 15 minutes, before his defensive partner Darren O’Dea was sent off for DOGSO in his final professional appearance. Brutal.
A half-time change proved key for the Buddies, as Dundee goalkeeper Jack Hamilton completed his Game of Thrones style character-arc, perfectly replicating his gameweek 1 performance by having a howler against St Mirren. Substitute Cody Cooke headed home the equaliser, and added the second after Hamilton failed completely at clearing the ball. This looked to be in vain as Scott Wright equalised for the hosts, but Cooke completed a hattrick as his tame shot wasn’t dealt with at all by the Dundee goalie.
All in all a fantastic, spirited performance from St Mirren, but they rely on a St Johnstone win to avoid the relegation play-off. There’s not much more to say about Dundee, a new manager could yet breathe some life into the team, and they’ll be looking to spend less time in the Championship than their neighbours have so far.
Hamilton Academical 2 - 0 St Johnstone
Hamilton did exactly what they needed to do, and whilst this St Johnstone team had nothing to play for, it’s a commendable result that is hopefully indicative of the work Brian Rice is doing. Having left his role at St Mirren 4 months ago, it’s somewhat poetic that his side may have sent them down.
They took the lead through Ziggy Gordon with 10 minutes played, and, according to a very excited social media team, went up 2-0 against St Johnstonr when Steve Davies capitalised on a steam ash later in the second half.
St Mirren have my sympathy, but Hamilton have turned their season around at the right time and fully deserve to stay in the division, especially when you consider how limited their resources are. They had words, or, more accurately, memes for all those that regularly bemoan them staying up. They are the perennial survivors and have absolutely earned it.

Second Phase: Championship Round

Sunday 19/05/19

Celtic 2 - 1 Hearts
Another game with nothing on the line but a chance to size up their Scottish Cup final opponents, Celtic fielded a second-string team in this encounter, presumably to protect players from injury, but also because Scott Brown was booked to fight Drew McIntyre.
This afforded the chance for 16 year-old Karamoko Dembele to make his professional debut, after years of overperforming at youth level. He seemed to offer a lot more than Oli Burke, who, if I’m not mistaken, is currently the most expensive Scottish footballer ever. Food for thought.
It was another of Celtic’s youngsters who ran this game, however. 4 years Dembele’s senior, Mikey Johnston opened the scoring with just a minute played, and after Jake Mulraney’s fortuitous equaliser 15 minutes later, he scored the winning goal in the final 10 minutes.
Celtic may not have made it particularly easy, but they finish the season 9 points ahead of Rangers, and 8-in-a-row champions. Hearts will lament injuries for derailing a very promising start to the season, but in truth they have been unable to hit any sort of consistent form - a problem which goes beyond a lack of depth. They finish 6th, with less points than 7th-placed St Johnstone, and level with Motherwell beneath them.
Hibernian 1 - 2 Aberdeen
This match played out much like most Hibs-Aberdeen matches have recently - tightly fought, could have gone either way, but fell the way of the Dons.
Aberdeen needed to better Kilmarnock’s result vs Rangers in order to secure a Europa League qualifying place, but did not start brilliantly, with an excellent pass from Fraser Murray setting up Marc McNulty to put Hibs 1-0 up. Aberdeen equalised through Cosgrove just before half-time, and had plenty opportunities to put the game to bed in the second half; Cosgrove having a penalty saved after James Wilson scored what proved to be the winner.
The real entertainment of the game came from Aberdeen’s Stevie May. After a nice bit of work from Max Lowe, May was presented with the opportunity to blast the ball into the net, but actually managed an inch-perfect pass to a counter-attacking Hibs winger. Behold one of the rare occasions whereby you can hear sitcom style laughter a football game. With a finish like that, some might say Stevie May doesn’t deserve a place in the Aberdeen side, but there is an argument that he provides something no other player on the team has the attributes for. For example, I doubt very much there is anyone in the squad who can devour a whole kiwi in a single bite.
With this result Hibs finish 3 points above local rivals Hearts, in 5th place, and Aberdeen have to hope that Rangers get at least a draw at Kilmarnock, or they’ll finish 4th, and will need Celtic to win the Scottish Cup should they wish to qualify for European football.
Kilmarnock 2 - 1 Rangers
Oh well.
The last game of the season at Rugby Pugby (any opportunity!) is also to be Steve Clarke’s last game in charge of Kilmarnock, with him being announced as the new Scotland National Team manager earlier today. Of course, he is serving the first game of a 3-game touchline ban, so I have to wonder a) whether that will be upheld in his new role, and b) which meeting he went to first.
It was a former Rangers player, Chris Burke, who put the hosts ahead with less than 10 minutes played, and almost an hour before Alfredo Morelos equalised, telling Kilmarnock’s largest home crowd of the season to pipe down as he celebrated.
Kilmarnock almost regained the lead via Liam Millar, but his goal was disallowed for offside, and it looked as if Killie would have to settle for 4th; but when Borna Barisic hauled down Stephen O’Donnell, Eamonn Brophy had a chance in the 89th minute to send Kilmarnock into Europe. I don’t think he was ever going to miss.
Scenes ensued, including former player Ray Montgomerie leading the crowd in singing Beautiful Sunday. Steve Clarke took over a 12th-placed Kilmarnock team, and led them to their highest points tally, before securing Europa League football this season in a fitting end to his remarkable tenure. If he can change the Scotland National Team’s fortunes in even remotely similar fashion he’ll have done a wonderful job. His speech at the end of the game seemed to confirm that he would be heading to pastures new, of course he was never going to leave the Scottish Premiership without a final jab at Rangers.
Rangers finish 2nd, and will only be looking above them for next season. Killie post-Clarke are going to be interesting to watch. He’s clearly laid foundations for a very strong team, the question will be whether or not they can kick on. They finish 3rd for the first time in 53 years.
So here’s how the 2018/19 Scottish Premiership season finishes:

Final Table

Championship Group

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts Form
1 Celtic 38 27 6 5 77 20 +57 87 WLWWD
2 Rangers 38 23 9 6 82 27 +55 78 LWWWW
3 Kilmarnock 38 19 10 9 50 31 +19 67 WWWLL
4 Aberdeen 38 20 7 11 57 44 +13 67 WWLLW
5 Hibernian 38 14 12 12 51 39 +12 54 LLLDD
6 Hearts 38 15 6 17 42 50 -8 51 LLLDL
Champions League Qualifiers
Europa League Qualifiers

Relegation Group

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts Form
7 St. Johnstone 38 15 7 16 38 48 -10 52 LWDDW
8 Motherwell 38 15 6 17 46 56 -10 51 WLDWD
9 Livingston 38 11 11 16 42 44 -2 44 LLDDL
10 Hamilton Academical 38 9 6 23 28 75 -47 33 WLWDD
11 St. Mirren 38 8 8 22 34 66 -32 32 WWDDW
12 Dundee 38 5 6 27 31 78 -47 21 LWLLL
Relegation Play-Off

Top Scorers

# Player Team Goals Assists Mins Played Mins per Goal
1 A. Morelos 18 4 2211 123
2 S. Cosgrove 17 2 2419 142
3 O. Édouard 15 5 1928 129
4 D. Turnbull 15 5 2460 164
5 J. Tavernier 14 14 3234 231
6 J. Forrest 11 9 2701 246
7 S. Arfield 11 6 2333 212
8 E. Brophy 11 2 1875 170
9 S. Naismith 10 3 1635 164
10 G. Stewart 9 6 2467 274

The venkys-out Premiership TOTS

I mean, who doesn’t love it when randoms on the internet put together their own team of the season? They’re always incorrect, completely arbitrary, and usually decided by who has had the best February-May. Here’s mine:
GK: Liam Kelly
Allan McGregor will have been many people’s choice for this position, but he can’t seem to stop attacking folk, so I would like to draw your attention to young Liam Kelly. Quite simply, he’s just turned 23, and he’s a bit of a feline in the goal. Livingston have garnered many compliments for their defence this season, but they could have been on the end of some right pastings had it not been for Kelly - enough in my book to put him ahead of St Johnstone’s Zander Clark, who also boasts an impressive clean sheet record.
DEF: James Tavernier
What you have with James Tavernier is a full-back who is absolutely perfect for an attacking team. A set-piece specialist, and a wicked crosser, Tavernier has 14 goals (11 of them penalties) and an even more impressive 14 assists this season, and the defence he captains is hardly leaky either. There is no right-back in Scotland currently on his level.
DEF: Kristoffer Ajer
From the club that brought you Virgil van Dijk, please welcome to the stage Kristoffer Ajer! I’ll admit, I would be surprised if Ajer reached ‘best in the world’ status, but what would not surprise me would be seeing him performing regularly in a top league in the world, or the Champions League.
DEF: Craig Halkett
Craig Halkett agreeing to join Hearts next season will be a crushing blow to Livingston - doubly so with defensive partner Declan Gallagher leaving for Motherwell. Above captaining a side that were astonishingly hard to beat after two successive promotions, Halkett has contributed 7 Premiership goals, mostly from set-plays or penalties, but including a 40-yarder against St Johnstone the other week.
DEF: Max Lowe
In an underwhelming Aberdeen side, Max Lowe’s eye-catching performances at left-back have been one of the few positives of the season (Cosgrovaissance aside). He may well be their most creative player. Should he stay at Derby, Ashley Cole is exactly the kind of player he could learn from - it’s definitely the case that his loan to Aberdeen could not have gone much better.
MID: Gary Dicker
Although he’s hardly a player that gets the pulse racing, but Gary Dicker is the heartbeat of a Kilmarnock side that have defied the odds to finish 3rd this season. It’s very difficult to choose a player that is emblematic of Killie’s success - Greg Stewart could have been a candidate before his bizarre move to Aberdeen - but that is exactly why Dicker is your man. He’s the ideal midfield anchor. If he was called Gario Dickquets you’d all be listening.
MID: Callum McGregor
Scott Brown and Olivier Ntcham may have looked indispensable to Celtic in August, but for many games this season Callum McGregor has slotted into the holding midfield position and rendered them both obsolete. He’s captained Scotland in the absence of Andy Robertson, and his role in ensuring that Celtic didn’t let the title slip after a few uncomfortable episodes cannot be understated.
MID: David Turnbull
If Turnbull’s meteoric rise doesn’t begin to peter out soon he will go right to the top of the game. A pure talent that almost single-handedly turned Motherwell’s season around, it’ll take a record fee to get him to leave Fir Park, and rightly so. 19 years old, 15 goals and 5 assists in the league from midfield. What else needs to be said?
FWD: James Forrest
Player of the Year, saviour of Scotland’s Nations League campaign, and a fixture in each of the Celtic squads that have dominated for the last 8 years - all without having a neck. James Forrest is often unplayable for defenders, and if you can look decent whilst playing for Scotland - even with that run - you must be a pretty special player.
FWD: Scott Arfield
Ryan Kent may steal most of the limelight, and that attention is well deserved, but Scott Arfield has proven to be a total headache for any defence pre-occupied with Rangers’ front three. He’s been most obviously effective playing off Jermain Defoe, but has been a vital attacking outlet for a Rangers side that scored more than anyone else this season.
FWD: Alfredo Morelos
Truly a man who needs no introduction. He might be a cheat, he might have 15 yellows and 5 reds this season, but he has directly contributed to 40 goals in 47 appearances across all competitions. Trying to deny that he’s a brilliant player is pointless, even if he is a wee bam.
MANAGER: Steve Clarke
It’s a coin-toss between Clarke and Livingston manager Gary Holt for this one. Had Livi not taken their foot off the pedal in the latter stages of the season, Holt would probably be a no-brainer. No-one suspected his side would be well clear of the relegation places come May. However, Steve Clarke has guided Killie to a record points tally, and a 3rd-place spot that will see Kilmarnock compete in the Europa League qualifying rounds. Hopefully he will be leading the Scotland squad before the start of next season, he certainly deserves to lead the team of the season.
For comparison, and to try to compensate for the obvious recency bias I’ve just displayed, here you can find a “Team of the Half-Season” I put together in Week 19.


Championship Promotion Play-Off: Semi Finals

Aggr. Inverness CT 0 - 4 Dundee United
Tue 14/05/19 Inverness CT 0 - 1 Dundee United
Fri 17/05/19 Dundee United 0 - 3 Inverness CT
The most astonishing part of this result isn’t the margin of the scoreline, but rather the rant that banished-to-the-stands Inverness manager John Robertson went on post-game. Responding to a debatable handball decision that led to a Dundee United penalty, he kicked a water bottle Wenger-style, which hit the fourth official. Here is his explanation of the events:
“We were playing well but then it's taken out of our hands. It was a shocking decision. We are told at referee seminars that if the ball is deflected onto the player's arm it's not a penalty. The man who has to get it right has got it horribly wrong. He was backed up by an obnoxious and arrogant fourth official. After the goal, I flicked a water bottle with my foot and it clipped the back of the fourth official's calf. That was translated into my losing the plot and smashing a water bottle at him. It was the biggest lie ever and I'm prepared to take this all the way. It's an absolute joke. I've been irate before and done daft things - I kicked Csaba László for goodness sake. But all I have done is flick a water bottle and it clipped him. I'm sure he will be in hospital tonight getting his leg amputated.”
I imagine that’ll be a ban.
Your Premiership Play-Off Finals will be contested by St Mirren and Dundee United.

Championship / League One Play-Off: Finals

Aggr. Raith Rovers 1 - 3 Queen of the South
Wed 15/05/19 Raith Rovers 1 - 3 Queen of the South
Sat 18/05/19 Queen of the South 0 - 0 Raith Rovers
So, after all that, Queen of the South retain their Championship status, with Champions Arbroath the only team to come up from League One. They will, of course, be replaced by Falkirk.

League One / League Two Play-Off: Finals

Aggr. Annan Athletic 1 - 2 Clyde
Tue 14/05/19 Annan Athletic 1 - 0 Clyde
Sat 18/05/19 Clyde 2 - 0 Annan Athletic
Congratulations to Clyde! They take the place of the relegated Stenhousemuir, and will compete in League One next season!

League Two / Highland League Play-Off: Finals

Aggr. Cove Rangers 7 - 0 Berwick Rangers
Sat 11/05/19 Cove Rangers 4 - 0 Berwick Rangers
Sat 18/05/19 Berwick Rangers 0 - 3 Cove Rangers
Not pretty viewing at all for fans of Scotland’s only English club, but these results mean Cove join Edinburgh City by becoming the second team to be promoted to the SPFL!
The Scottish Cup final is on Saturday at 3pm, and the second leg of St Mirren vs Dundee United is your last viewing for this season. The first of their matches kicks-off at Tannadice on Thursday at 7:45pm, then St Mirren Park hosts the deciding game at 3pm on Sunday, with the winner taking the final place in the Scottish Premiership.
This has been fun. Thanks to everyone who contributed to the discussion, and to the whole subreddit for only implying the Scottish Premiership is a diddy league unworthy of discussion on a few occasions. Couldn’t have asked for more.
Be sure to check out /ScottishFootball for the usual good patter and discussion of the SPFL
Last week’s matches were rounded up here and you can find all other weeks on my profile, obviously.
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2019.02.25 19:15 venkys-out Fitba Roundup: SPFL Gameweek 27

Another busy week where I hope not to have much writing to do is ruined by the endlessly entertaining Scottish Professional Football League. Have a look at what went down this weekend.

Scottish Premiership



Sun 24/02/19 Celtic 4 - 1 Motherwell
It’s been almost two years since he recalled a tale of being stopped in the Clyde Tunnel by a Rangers fan who wanted to thank him for being a "breath of fresh air” in Scottish Football, and Brendan Rodgers had yet another amusing anecdote to share with us - this time about how he had to hide from the Orange Walk a week after he moved to Glasgow! Oh Brendan, you certainly get up to some hijinks!
As is par for the course in Scottish Football, Rodgers’ post-match press-conference mood was considerably less jovial, and his anger centred around one particular incident.
With Celtic 2-0 up early in the second half thanks to goals from Scott Sinclair and Odsonne Édouard, Ryan Christie pulled up with what looked like a hamstring injury. Celtic kick the ball out to make the sub, and the ball was thrown back down the pitch to the Celtic defence - you know, as is done every single time in these situations. Now, Motherwell may not have the best reputation for fair play, but this is unprecedented: 18 year old debutant James Scott decides he’s going to play on and run after it, he forces Scott Bain into a save, and the onrushing Gboly Ariyibi fires it home before Jack Hendry has even been allowed to enter the pitch, ending Celtic’s record of not conceding in 2019. The most shithouse, unsportsmanlike goal you’re likely to see this season.
Everyone became absolutely incensed. Boyata, Tait and Rodriguez all get booked; Tierney starts screaming at Scott; Brendan Rodgers says in his post-match interview that Motherwell should have let Celtic score. Madness. Even Motherwell manager Stephen Robinson felt compelled to say it was wrong. It led to a pretty bad tempered game, with Celtic fans’ cheers as Carl McHugh was taken to hospital with a neck injury perhaps exemplifying that.
In the closing minutes of the game Édouard scored an absolutely fantastic free-kick to put the game finally beyond Motherwell’s reach, and Oli Burke scored his 4th Celtic goal since joining on loan. Everyone with any connection to Celtic Football Club would have been absolutely apoplectic had Motherwell found a second before then.
Here’s your highlights.

Friday’s Match

Dundee 2 - 4 Hibernian
Firstly, I’m intrigued by Hibs’ formation, as Sportscene seemed to show it as a 4-1-3-2, which by all accounts would be quite innovative for Scottish football - I’m assuming it was similar to a wide diamond? Would genuinely appreciate some insight here.
Regardless, their two strikers were in form today as Flo Kamberi did well to hold of Dundee’s Kasunga for the first goal of a very entertaining match. Paul McGowan levelled after some superb work by Scott Wright - who could easily have been sent-off later after kneeing Mark Milligan in the head - before Mark McNulty just managed to take his first touch across the line to restore Hibs’ advantage. He had a second before Stevie Mallan’s brilliantly hit shot evaded Dieng in the Dundee goal.
Kenny Miller had two goals disallowed for offside, the second coming from a nice one-two with Wright, and the first after a nice delivery from a free-kick. As has seemed to be a surprising theme with this weekend’s fixtures across Europe, before Dundee could take that free-kick the Dens Park sprinklers went on.
All of the above drama had the effect of totally throwing Hibs’ social media guy, who is clearly [working overtime to restore the club’s street credit](( after Hibs became the third Scottish Premiership team to announce an Official Vaping Partner.
Elsewhere on social media, Dundee’s own legend Rab Douglas was up at midnight drumming up interest in some signed auction items, notably some marigolds, a hardhat, a pack of dairylea slices and a bottle of Bucky, amongst other… uh… things.
Anyway, Hibs are back in the top 6. Jolly good work, Heckingbottom!

Saturday’s Matches

Hearts 1 - 1 St Mirren
I’ll be making no apologies for making the entire roundup of this game about Clévid Dikamona
The Hearts centre-back opened the scoring in the second half, but not before being on the wrong end of a horrendous challenge from St Mirren’s Greg Tansey for which the latter should have seen red. Dikamona seemed to agree with that sentiment, tweeting a video of the tackle with the caption “fortunately I’m still standing”, then, in an unprecedented display of ’I’m telling on you’, tagging the official Scottish Professional Football League twitter in the replies. This prompted Aston Villa midfielder John McGinn, formerly of St Mirren and Hibs (and brother to St Mirren players Paul and Stephen), to reply with the one word everyone was thinking - “Grass”. Some accused McGinn of hypocrisy, Dikamona himself replied “you're probably the kind of player who does this, knowing you're protected by a referee after”. It should be said John McGinn is currently serving a two-game suspension after picking up 10 cards. Dikamona has since deleted his tweets, which I guess means McGinn wins?
10 minutes after Dikamona opened the scoring, Hearts’ #9 Sean Clare also found the net, but at the wrong end, with an impressive header off the back of his head to beat Bobby Zlamal. The Hearts goalie then did well to keep Dikamona out, in what would have been a very funny own goal to concede given the circumstances.
St Mirren are now 4 points off Hamilton, with a better goal difference. If they can turn one or two of these draws into wins, they have a real chance of staying up, which would be very impressive considering how diabolical they’ve been at points.
Highlights (including some decent goalkeeping.)
Livingston 1 - 0 Kilmarnock
There has been a lot to talk about regarding Kilmarnock this week, but most of it is pertinent to their Scottish Cup replay with Rangers, so I’ll discuss it further down this post.
All I’ll say for now is that before the game against Rangers Steve Clarke had been joking about in his press conferences and after that game Killie supporters started showing up wearing Steve Clarke masks in solidarity with their manager.
A third El Plastico of the season between these two teams, and the first Livingston win, with former Partick Thistle hero Chris Erskine grabbing his first goal for Livi, and in doing so giving them their first win of the year. Killie were very unlucky not to score, hitting the crossbar 3 times, but they have now gone 4 games without a goal, and their form makes for grim reading, with no wins in their last 7.
St Johnstone 0 - 2 Aberdeen
Earlier in the week Aberdeen managed to tie promising 19-year-old Lewis Ferguson to a new contract until 2024, announced with some extremely subliminal advertising, but it was his out-of-contract-in-the-summer midfield partner Graeme Shinnie who stole the headlines in this match.
After a match against St Mirren that had every Aberdeen fan growling something along the lines of “Shinnie’s heed’s no here anymore”, “give the armband to Ferguson” or “shite”, the Aberdeen captain played as if he had a point to prove.
Indeed Shinniesta was on the scoresheet not once but twice, scoring in each half as Aberdeen equalled a club-record 7 away wins in a row, and extended Saints’ winless run to the same number. His first goal was a smart bit of footwork and a tidy weak-foot finish from the edge of the box, and his second was an absolute pinger. Having assisted the first, Dominic Ball won the uh, ball, with a smart tackle inside his own half, before passing to Shinnie, who ran half the pitch before driving in the second from outside the box.
Saints drop to 7th, Aberdeen stay 3rd.

Sunday’s other match

Hamilton Accies 0 - 5 Rangers
If this match wasn’t completely over 25 minutes in, it certainly was by the end of the first half.
Ryan Jack opened the scoring 16 minutes in, and the ball must not have been back in play for 30 seconds before Jermaine Defoe made it 2-0. Scott Arfield then hammered in the pick of the bunch as Rangers effectively put to bed the murmurs that they were overly reliant on (the suspended) Alfredo Morelos for goals.
James Tavernier made it 0-4 before half-time, before a quiet second half that saw Hamilton as the next team to claim for a penalty. The Rangers fans who demanded a retrospective ban for Alan Power after he almost took Ryan Jack’s head off two weeks ago must be equally determined to see Joe Worrall brought before the compliance officer for his challenge on George Oakley. Of course this comes in the same week that Rangers legend Nacho Novo was spouting conspiracy theories about “a mafia within the SFA, in terms of they are ran by Celtic”, so I’m sure we can expect swift and brutal punishment.
Rangers added a fifth very late on through Kyle Lafferty in a game where they were beyond dominant. Hamilton manager Brian Rice had set up his team in attacking 4-3-3 formation, which is probably why they got absolutely scudded in the first half. A bit more of a pragmatic approach for this game could have seen a different result, although even that seems unlikely. I reckon it’s unfair to say that this game serves as proof that Hamilton ought to be relegated , though they really do .
Hibs being back into the top 6 is the only excitement this week as far as the table goes!


Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts Form
1 Celtic 27 20 3 4 64 15 +49 63 WWWWW
2 Rangers 27 16 7 4 60 20 +40 55 WDWWW
3 Aberdeen 27 15 5 7 45 31 +14 50 WDLWD
4 Kilmarnock 27 13 7 7 37 27 +10 46 LLDLD
5 Hearts 27 13 5 9 33 32 +1 44 DLDWW
6 Hibernian 27 10 8 9 40 30 +2 38 WWLLW
7 St. Johnstone 27 11 5 11 27 34 -7 38 LDLLL
8 Motherwell 27 11 3 13 30 39 -9 36 LWWWW
9 Livingston 27 9 7 11 28 28 0 34 WLDLL
10 Dundee 27 4 6 17 24 56 -32 18 LWDDL
11 Hamilton Academical 27 5 3 19 17 58 -41 18 LLWDL
12 St. Mirren 27 3 5 19 20 55 -35 14 DDLLL
Championship Round
Relegation Round

Scottish Cup - 5th Round Replay

Tue 19/02/19 Inverness CT P 2- 2 Ross County Highlights with commentary
Wed 20/02/19 Rangers 5- 0 Kilmarnock Highlights
The Highland Derby had been the pick of the 5th round ties, with County battling to equalise twice against an Inverness side 12 points behind them in the Championship. Down the road across the Kessock Bridge it was again the home side having to answer to the away team, with Ross Stewart putting County ahead halfway through the first half. It took ICT until the second half to go level, with Jordan White’s header arriving around the same time as the Ross County equaliser 8 days prior. County, just as Inverness had done, regained the lead 10 minutes later thanks to Michael Gardyne’s very well-taken goal, but Inverness forced extra-time and penalties thanks to an 81st minute goal, again from White.
The shootout saw Ross County captain Marcus Fraser try some mind-games with ICT’s Coll Donaldson, only for the latter to send the goalkeeper the wrong way before Declan McManus missed County’s next kick, enough to give Inverness the win.
The 0-0 draw at Rugby Park that forced the replay between Rangers and Kilmarnock generated plenty of media attention, mostly due to that Alan Power challenge - for which he received no retrospective action - and the refereeing was similarly called into question in this match. With only a minute played, Eamonn Brophy went down under the challenge of Joe Worrall, but what looked like a clear penalty was waved away by referee - prompting Brophy to tweet a video of the incident with the caption “Apperantly [sic] fall over my own feet here…?” and Worrall, no joke, to Like said tweet.
With an appeal against a 3 game ban pending, Alfredo Morelos scored his first of the evening 5 minutes later, before more refereeing controversy — Glen Kamara went down clutching his face in the Rangers penalty area following a Daniel Bachmann elbow, resulting in a red for the Killie keeper. On closer inspection that looks the correct decision, so naturally the SFA rescinded the red before Killie’s game at the weekend. After that it was routine for Rangers, with Morelos scoring 4 goals, his hattrick coming just a minute after an Andy Halliday had made it 3-0.
Steve Clarke has since held the media’s attention following a fairly astonishing press conference, where he branded the refereeing in this game - and every week - a joke, before launching a genuine and sincere rant against the rampant sectarianism that is ubiquitous in Scottish Football. Clarke is the second manager to give a heartfelt response to sectarian abuse this season, after (now former) Hibs coach Neil Lennon. In their weekend match against Hamilton, Rangers fans revealed a banner reading “GET WELL SOON STEVE CLARKE”, which has since been condemned by Steven Gerrard.
Rangers will play Aberdeen at Pittodrie and ICT will travel to Tannadice to face Dundee United in the quarter-finals.

Scottish Championship

Sat 23/02/19 Partick Thistle 2 - 4 Ross County
After looking as if the appointment of Gary Caldwell had opened the door to consecutive relegations for Partick Thistle, the Firhill side have been revitalised in recent weeks, going 7 games unbeaten.
The visit of a Ross County side determined to put a gap between themselves and second-place Ayr United would prove a challenge for any Championship side, but Thistle looked up for it, and found themselves going into half time 2-0 up. Two goals in three minutes from Aiden Fitzpatrick and Christie Elliott afforded the Jags a fighting chance to go 2 points clear of Alloa and 3 of Falkirk at the bottom of the table.
As you may be able to tell from the scoreline, that was not to be. In fact it only took County’s Ross Stewart a minute to open the second-half scoring, before Jamie Lindsay equalised. Stewart added a third in the 74th minute, and 5 minutes later won a penalty that Billy McKay converted to make it 2-4. Rough one for Thistle like.
BONUS: Check out Stephen Wilson of Junior side Auchinleck’s Beckham-esque goal v Pollok, and here’s East Fife giving Dumbarton directions to their stadium for before their 3-4 clash, the highlights of which you can watch here.
That’s all for this week!
Check out /ScottishFootball for good patter and discussion of the SPFL
Last week’s matches were rounded up here
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2019.01.28 20:56 venkys-out Fitba Roundup: SPFL Gameweek 22/23

Great to be back!
The top flight of Scottish Football is back after an agonising winter break that saw the frequenters of ScottishFootball lose their collective minds. The apocalypse is defined by the Oxford dictionary’s Google search preview as “an event involving destruction or da”, the latter of which proving to be the case as the sub was taken over by the likes of yer da on the commentary, yer da’s decor, and the inaugural Da’s Got Talent, sponsored by ButteryMoleHole, who really ought to be held accountable.
Unfortunately, like all good things, the dapocalypse had to come to an end, and the 4th round of the Scottish Cup signalled a return to action for all Premiership sides - except Rangers, whose Friday-night match against League 2 Cowdenbeath was postponed at the last minute on account of a patch of the pitch by the corner flag being frozen, despite the best efforts of the grounds team, who attempted to defrost the area with the engine of a Honda CRV. Rangers, instead, kicked off their first game of the new year at Ibrox in a friendly against HJK Helsinki, fulfilling an agreement that formed part of the Alfredo Morelos negotiations. The convenience of this matter was too much for some Celtic fans, whose conspiracy theories marked an appropriate end to a da-fuelled winter break.
If all of the above is an entirely foreign cultural entity to you, but nevertheless something you wish to be a part of, you might find it helpful to be reminded of how the first half of the season unfolded in the most entertaining league in the world™.

Scottish Premiership

Last weekend saw last year’s Scottish Cup finalists Motherwell exit the competition at the hands of Championship side Ross County, as Aberdeen and Dundee were forced into a replay also against lower league opposition. The latter are now facing yet another hurdle in what has been a very trying season. Dundee’s campaign started in quite comic fashion, with a loss to St Mirren in Paisley that featured midfielder Paul McGowan playing with an electronic tag on and what is still the worst goalkeeping howler of the season from Jack Hamilton.. 7 matches (and 6 defeats) later Neil McCann was replaced by Jim McIntyre, amongst suspicion that Kenny Miller had been signed from Livingston with one eye on the job. McCann bravely claimed that the referee in their match against Kilmarnock was what had cost him his job, instead of it being his team’s absolutely rotten form. McIntyre announced his arrival with a 4-0 loss to Livingston and a 0-3 defeat to Hearts that featured an effective summary of their season in the form of a Calvin Miller penalty, but performances improved (on account of it not being possible for them to get worse). The Dee ended 2018 bottom of the table, so their manager has begun a massive overhaul of the squad, with the likes of Calvin Miller, Adil Nabi and Andy Boyle leaving the club at the start of the window; and the incoming transfers of random Swedish man Andreas Hadenius and James Horsfield on loan, who was buzzing to sign for Dun Dee. New signing Andrew Davies has broken his foot before stepping on to the pitch, just 4 days after signing.
Equally as shite as Dundee, St Mirren have only managed to take 12 points from the 21 games prior to this week. Losing Jack Ross, the manager who propelled them into the Premiership, and Lewis Morgan (the attacker who propelled them into the Premiership) looked like it might be fatal, as replacement manager Alan Stubbs couldn’t avoid losses from week 2 until his sacking. Replaced by Coleraine hero Oran Kearney, they “bounced back” with a 0-0 draw at home against Celtic, inspired by an actual magician, then went on a 7-game losing streak, ended by a draw at Dundee before winning at home to Hearts. Unfortunately, Kearney’s ambition to win the league may have to be put on the back burner for the time being. When his first win did come against Hearts in week 14 it was partly thanks to a goal from the centre circle from Adam Hammill, a feat repeated mere weeks later, before Hammill was released. On top of getting Václav Hladky out of a Cypriot concentration camp, the Buddies have brought in Anders Dreyer on loan from Brighton, as well as Charlie Reid from the Proclaimers Blackburn’s Brad Lyons, who made the brave decision to pose for his signing photos whilst still wearing his glasses. Thanks to ScottMcoot for my favourite ScottishFootball headline of the year so far, “St Mirren sign a speccy tube”. Poor Brad got sent off for diving in his first match, although it was rescinded. Good luck to him.
I feel for fans of Hamilton, as going into every season as “the shite that won’t flush” hardly calls for optimism, and Accies have, unfortunately, remained startlingly true to form, perpetually sitting one place above the relegation zone. Despite winning the Lanarkshire derby in week 2, Martin Canning’s side have spent the majority of the season one place beneath their local rivals, Motherwell. Writing this roundup has made me realise there is somewhat of a dearth of patter regarding Hamilton this season, although they do subscribe to the less is more ideology. It’s been an uninspiring first half of the season for Accies, and I do feel sorry for the people who genuinely love their club and have to see shit like this every week. They have, however, strengthened this January; with the return of Tony Andreu and the addition of this man, who caused me to pause for 5 seconds to work out which one of the two people photographed was the new signing and which was Martin Canning.
Above Hamilton, Motherwell have had one of the least interesting campaigns of any of the Premiership sides, spending much of the pre-winter-break season consolidating 9th place. They were, however, the centre of my personal favourite instance of all this season’s petty drama, as before their match against Rangers, captain Peter Hartley reminisced about Ryan Bowman breaking Fabio Cardoso’s nose, adding that it was “fun to watch the way he was weeping”. The vitriol that ensued was incredible, and the whole incident was rather nicely tied up by Hartley scoring a last-minute equaliser in the 3-3 draw that followed. They did go on to lose 7-1 at Ibrox mind. Some more interesting happenings emerged off the Fir Park pitch, with Will Smith vindicating the choice of one young fan to support the Well, and possibly inspiring Charles Dunne also to start a rap career. Furthermore, and I have no idea how they’re paying his wage, Motherwell have signed Ross McCormack on loan from Villa this January. Could be a brilliant signing if he gets/keeps his fitness up.
Now we jump several points up the table, as finding themselves rather surprisingly in 8th place at the time I write this, Hibs have sorely felt the loss of midfield trio Scott Allan, Dylan McGeouch and John McGinn. Like most teams, Hibs have struggled to find any real consistency this season, best illustrated by their 6-0 shagging of Hamilton being followed by 7 matches without a win. Vox populi Neil Lennon may have solved some of the midfield problems by adding Ryan Gauld (remember him?) to the squad, and resigning Scott Allan on a pre-contract. They have also secured the loan signing of do do do Stéphane Oméonga, and will hope to make a push for the top 6 places come the end of the campaign.
The real surprise packages of this season have undoubtedly been the permanent residents of the Tony Macaroni ArenaLivingston. Like St Mirren, Livi lost the manager that brought them to the Premiership, with many assuming that David Hopkin (the manager behind two successive promotions) leaving for the now struggling Bradford City would be fatal to their Premiership status. This feeling was only reinforced when it was announced that Kenny Miller would take over as player-manager *shudders*. He was only to last two games after allegedly refusing to drop himself from the starting 11. Gary Holt took over, and under his guidance Livi immediately looked a different team, turning the Spaghettihad into a fortress - they’ve lost only to St Johnstone and Aberdeen at home since. The highlight of this Livi season has to be their 5-0 dismantling of Hearts mid-December. Adding Partick Thistle hero Chris Erskine to their squad should help them creatively, and by extending the loan of Rangers’ Ryan Hardie they should have enough firepower to match their impressive defence, possibly sneaking a top 6 place. Possibly.
St Johnstone share with Livingston impressive defensive organisation. They responded to 0-6 battering from Celtic by going 6 games in a row without conceding, and at the time of writing this introduction they are on 4 consecutive clean sheets. Yes, I know, well-organised teams don’t concede 6, but this was at a time of the season when Celtic started playing as if they were possessed, so we’ll excuse Saints’ indiscretion. St Johnstone have quietly had a very good start to the season, and I mean it when I say “quietly”. They’ve (mostly) proven problematic for the sides at the top of the table, and have disposed of the sides beneath them well, but over the last 21 weeks I can only think of one instance of St Johnstone ‘chat’, and that was when one of their fans just decided to tell the world he only washes his coffee cup once a week. A very wholesome family atmosphere at McDiarmid Park it seems, and it’s been made all the more wholesome by Michael O’Halloran returning for his 3rd spell with the club. Top 6 definitely the target for the rest of the season.
Now, if you had told any Hearts fans at the beginning of the season that - despite losing Uche Ikpeazu and Kyle Lafferty to injury and Rangers respectively - they’d be sitting pretty in 5th as the winter break rolled in, most would probably be quite content. This, however, does not tell the story of their season. A 1-4 win over Hamilton put them top of the league after match day 1, and a Craig Levein grassterclass saw them emerge 1-0 victors at home to Celtic. They went on to win their first 5 games of the season, before progress was halted by a draw at the Tony Macaroni, and a loss of any semblance of defensive organisation against Rangers the next week. Their season completely unravelled after Stevies Naismith and MacLean missed several games on account of an injury sustained in the league cup semi-final and bawsgate. Hearts, almost immediately, went from being 6 points clear at the top of the table to going 6 games without a goal. One might assume that such a collapse - which saw the Jambos give away 8 goals to Celtic without reply in just under a week - could potentially humble certain figures within the club, for example: Craig Levein. Of course, you would be incorrect, as the specciest bam of the SPFL era has continued to antagonise anyone who dares to speak his name. Results have not improved, with Hearts “getting their backsides felt, which was very sore indeed” in that 5-0 defeat to Livi, but that hasn’t stopped Levein from continuing in his usual manner, labelling Aberdeen manager Derek McInnes “a dick” just a few weeks ago, and taking on Sportscene furniture and former Hearts player Michael Stewart. More on that one to follow.
In contrast to Hearts’ season, Aberdeen started terribly, but seem to have found their footing. According to one Sky Sports pundit, we even won the League Cup final, which is a nice surprise since I was certain we lost Gary Mackay-Steven for weeks to a head injury as Celtic beat us 1-0. Anyway, Aberdeen’s turnaround in fortunes is largely to do with the emergence of Sam Cosgrove as a competent striker, which is, by no exaggeration, the most surprising turn of events of the season. As of the 10th December, Cosgrove had scored twice for Aberdeen in 29 games, both times in a 4-1 win over St Mirren. By Boxing Day he had 7 goals in his last 5 games, putting him only behind Alfredo Morelos on the goalscoring charts, whilst winning Aberdeen some crucial points in the process. What he has lacked is consistent service, so Aberdeen entered the winter break looking for a player who could create some space and lift the goalscoring burden off Cosgrove’s shoulders. Losing Kenny McLean to Norwich for free, and the end of Ryan Christie’s loan spell has left the Dons lacking in creativity, so you wouldn’t normally expect a team in that situation to try to re-sign a player who had 3 goals and 2 assists in 30 games whilst on loan last season. The thing is, said player had been loaned to Kilmarnock for the current season, and had 8 goals and 6 assists in just 16 games. You can imagine Kilmarnock fans’ disappointment upon hearing that Birmingham City would be recalling Greg Stewart, presumably to punt him on to another club before his contract ends in the summer, only to see him loaned back to Aberdeen a few days later. Steve Clarke has said there’s “a strange smell” around this move, which be believes to be “bullshit.” With this signing, and the crucial extension of Max Lowe’s loan from Derby County, Aberdeen should have a little more about them going into the second half of the season. Although they have just drawn 1-1 to bottom-of-League-One Stenhousemuir at home, so what do I know?
Beyond the expectations of anyone this season, and sitting cosy above last season’s second-place Aberdeen, Kilmarnock have emerged as unlikely title contenders, catalysed by a dangerous front 3 of Eamonn Brophy, Greg Stewart and Jordan Jones, and guided by the management of Steve Clarke. Taking 6 points off Aberdeen and Celtic in their first encounters, and taking more points than any other team in 2018, Killie found themselves top in week 16. January 2019 sees The Best There Is, The Best There Was, and The Best There Ever Will Be celebrate their 150th anniversary, and what better way to mark the occasion than to have your star winger declare himself a lifelong Rangers fan, announce his departure on a free, and sign off the tweet with #WATP? Have to feel for Killie fans there, Greg Stewart was still a Kilmarnock player when that went down, and whilst they are yet to replace him, they should still have more than enough to finish around those European places.
Steven Gerrard’s Rangers have shown us absolutely everything on the pitch, except for any real consistency. They started their season with a 1-1 draw at Aberdeen that saw some fans arrested for kicking over a child’s sandcastle, and that level of unpredictability has seen them absolutely humped by Celtic in the first Old Firm of the season, before dishing out exactly the opposite result in the second match between the two. Despite Gerrard alleging a refereeing conspiracy against Rangers, the following weeks would see Alan McGregor escape punishment for two off-the-ball incidents and Alfredo Morelos ludicrously avoid a sending-off against [YOUR TEAM HERE]. At least Scott Arfield got his just desserts when he went in completely ridiculously on Bobby Zlamal in the most hilariously unnecessary tackle I have ever seen. Despite pumping Motherwell 7-1, the highlight of the Rangers season so far is (obviously) their dominant Old Firm victory just before the New Year. That game sent Celtic fans into meltdown, preparing video essays about the refereeing and replying to Colombian news outlets in Spanish, and the aim for this season is to cause an even bigger meltdown by stopping Celtic’s run of 7 consecutive titles. Gerrard has added Steven Davies and Jermain Defoe to his squad to aid that cause, as well as signing Jones and Dundee’s Glen Kamara on pre-contracts.
So, the question remains, will Celtic run away with it again and become treble-treble winners? A stuttering start to the season has cast some doubt, and an emphatic loss to their Old Firm rivals for the first time in the league since 2012 shows that this team does still have their vulnerabilities. August saw early exit from the Champions’ League at the final qualifying round, not helped by star centre-back Dedryck Boyata faking an injury as he tried to force a move (he scored in the game that banner was flown). Moussa Dembélé aka Big Mouss aka the King of Glasgow aka Dembelition did manage to force his move to Lyon, and as rumours of unrest in the Celtic camp floated it looked as if we could be in for a total Celtic collapse. Early losses to Hearts and Kilmarnock saw Celtic endure their worst start to a league campaign in 20 years, but they would then go on a run that would see 20 league goals scored over 4 games, despite being subordinated to a diktat during this time. Naturally, this run was ended at the Tony Macaroni, but it had shepherded an awesome return to form for Brendan Rodgers’ team. The lack of dependable depth for Odsonne Edouard looked as if it may become an issue - with Leigh Griffiths given a leave of absence to deal with his mental health issues, Edouard became the only ‘senior’ striker in their team for a while - but the winter additions of Oliver Burke and Timothy Weah will partner nicely with the amazing form of Ryan “won’t cut it at Celtic” Christie, and Celtic should have enough to push on to an eighth consecutive title.
Okay, now that we’re all caught up, let’s look at the results from the last two gameweeks.



Wed 26/12/18 Kilmarnock 2 - 1 Rangers
Of course after the Jordan Jones saga it would only be right that Kilmarnock’s first game back after the break would be Rangers. Steve Clarke had to tell fans before the match “boo Jordan Jones and you’re booing me too”, whatever that means. It was always going to be a game filled with drama.
Jermain Defoe put Rangers into the lead with the worst goal of the season so far, meaning it only took 12 minutes for him to open his account in our diddy wee league, although he was largely anonymous after that.
Killie’s equaliser came 10 minutes later in the form of a total gift from on-loan Nottingham Forrest defender Joe Worrall, who dithered in defence, allowing Eamonn Brophy to snatch the ball from him and finish well for his 9th league goal of the season. Alfredo Morelos had the ball in the net at the other end, but funnily enough his superman-dive handball finish was disallowed.
Killie took the lead halfway through the second half, of course through Jordan Jones. His 25-yard strike was flapped at by McGregor, and as the ball went in Jones ran over to Steve Clarke and gave him a nice big hug. That was enough for Killie to take the 3 points, and enough for some Rangers fans not to be able to face work the next day.

Wednesday’s other matches

Hearts 1 - 2 Dundee
Five minutes after defender Genseric Kusunga found himself unusually far forward and opened the scoring for Dundee, Hearts manager Craig Levein felt compelled to substitute off new signing David Vanacek, citing that he was “rubbish”. Levein went on to complain about the striker’s fitness levels, despite having worked with him for the past two weeks and naming him in the starting lineup.
Now, if you click on the word “rubbish” above you’ll see a video of Sportscene pundits Stephen Thompson and Michael ‘£1 a week and you were still my worst signing’ Stewart criticising this decision.
Levein has since responded saying, and I shall post this unabridged: “My good friend Mr Stewart, not intelligent enough or brave enough to try management. Why would I take any advice from him? It's like me taking advice on politics from somebody like, I don't know, Michael Stewart. So we'll just ignore what he says”. Stewart has since responded with a tweet about psychological projection.
The whole thing is very petty and enjoyable, Levein’s demanding an apology, you have to love it.
Anyway, despite a heavy deflection leading to a first-half Olly Lee equaliser, Dundee managed to grab a vital win thanks to a slip by Conor Shaughnessy, meaning Andrew Nelson could be played in to score.
All the highlights here.
Celtic 4 - 0 St. Mirren
A return to the slightly diseased Parkhead for Celtic and three very brave horses afforded the opportunity to see Timothy Weah and Oliver Burke in action for the first time. Neither disappointed as the latter grabbed a brace either side of a Scott Sinclair penalty, and the former adding the final goal 4 minutes from time.
With this result Dundee overtake St. Mirren as the Buddies fall into last place.
Hamilton 0 - 3 Aberdeen
This result is believed to have ushered in the new deeply sexual era of Aberdeen, with Derek McInnes remarking after the game that he’d “like to see Cosgrove open his legs up a bit more” and the local papers running with the headline Dons slam it into the Ham.
A brilliant Joe Lewis save kept things from being very different in the first half, before a scrappy Cosgrove opener and a scrappy Lewis Ferguson corner goal sandwiched the best finish of the day, with Sam Cosgrove taking advantage of Ziggy Gordon not really being that arsed about defending, and finishing well.
A solid 7/10 performance all round for Aberdeen, 9 goals in 8 games for Cosgrove.
Motherwell 1 - 0 Hibernian
The reports coming out after this one are that Neil Lennon has totally lost the head with his players, the board, and everyone at Hibs. It looks very much as if he’s burned some bridges, he’s been suspended from his duties as first team manager for the time being.
Despite Hibs being dominant in possession, Motherwell had the better of the chances in this game, with youngster David Turnbull the only man managing to convert. His goal on the stroke of half time went unanswered, as Motherwell close in on Hibs, and extend the gap at the bottom of the table between themselves and Hamilton.
St. Johnstone 1 - 0 Livingston
The battle of the surprisingly good defences yielded a predictably tight affair at McDiarmid Park. Other words that have been used to describe this match are: “bad.”
The one goal came 12 minutes from time thanks to Murray Davidson, as Saints claim their 11th clean sheet in 14 games. None too shabby.

Saturday’s Matches

Hearts 2 - 0 St Johnstone
Saints did not, however, make that 12 in 15.
Much to the disappointment of Michael Stewart Hearts dominated this match.
They hit the woodwork twice as goals from Marcus “best surname in football” Godinho and Calumn “what’s with the N?” Morrison scored the only goals St. Johnstone have conceded away since September.
Aberdeen 0 - 0 Kilmarnock
So, the Greg Stewart Shield didn’t quite live up to the hype, but the Aberdeen fans who braved the rain were at least able to see Kris Boyd sent off for leaving a sore one on Graeme Shinnie.
There’s really not that much else to discuss. Stevie May had a shot on goal at least? Also, this is the best possible result for the Old Firm.
Celtic 3 - 0 Hamilton
Someone get Ryan Fulton a tinny.
The Hamilton goalie was the busiest man on the park and did very welt keep the game at 0-0, until a long-range shot from Callum McGregor went right through him. He was then rescued by his defenders as he found himself a mile away from his goal early in the second half, before he dropped the ball directly at the feet of Ryan Christie for Celtic’s second.
He couldn’t do anything about Scott Sinclair’s third, and so concluded a game where he was both Man of the Match and the worst player on the pitch.
See it all here.
Dundee 0 - 1 Motherwell
I’m not sure there’s a Motherwell fan out there who wouldn’t let David Turnbull pump their significant other.
His penalty on the hour mark was the difference in a game both teams could have won, but Dundee would be more upset about losing.

Sunday’s Matches

St Mirren 1 - 3 Hibernian
The stress of replacing Neil Lennon for this match was enough for Eddie May to rule out ever returning to full time management, as his Hibs team went 1-0 down at half-time to a Simeon Jackson goal, following a nice bit of work, ironically, from that boy who looks like the Proclaimers.
Hibs massively turned it around in the second half, with Oli Shaw netting the first, Darren McGregor tapping in from close-range, and Stevie Mallan finishing a good performance against his former club with a goal late on.
0 - 3 Rangers
Oh, hang on, forgot that Livi were also playing.
Livingston 0 - 3 Rangers
That being said, they probably wish they hadn’t been, in particular Liam Kelly.
The Livi goalkeeper has been brilliant this season, so it’s only natural that he should totally flub Ryan Jack’s effort half an hour in to give Rangers the lead.
There was no stopping Ryan Kent’s goal early in the second half, however, and 25 minutes later, after missing an open goal, the man with more goals and assists than anyone bar Messi and Mbappé sealed the deal.
Rangers become only the third side to win at the Tony Macaroni Arena, and they go second for their troubles.
So, Celtic have the chance to give themselves some breathing room at the top of the table with their midweek game against St Johnstone.


# Team P W D L F A GD Pts Form
1 Celtic 22 15 3 4 53 14 +39 48 WWLWW
2 Rangers 23 13 6 4 47 18 +29 45 WLWDW
3 Kilmarnock 23 13 6 4 34 21 +13 45 DWWWD
4 Aberdeen 23 13 4 6 37 24 +13 43 DWWLW
5 Hearts 23 12 3 8 29 28 +1 39 WLWWL
6 St. Johnstone 22 11 4 7 26 26 +0 37 LWWWL
7 (#icon-up) Hibernian 23 8 8 7 33 24 +9 32 WLLDD
8 (#icon-down) Livingston 23 8 6 9 26 23 +3 30 LLLWD
9 Motherwell 23 8 3 12 22 33 -11 27 WWWLL
10 Hamilton Academical 23 4 2 17 14 49 -35 14 LLLLD
11 (#icon-up) Dundee 23 3 4 16 17 48 -31 13 LWLDL
12 (#icon-down) St. Mirren 23 3 3 17 15 46 -30 12 LLLWL
Championship Round Relegation Round


Whilst the Premiership paused for breath, the Scottish Championship and Leagues 1 and 2 rumbled on. During this time Alloa scored one of the worst goals of the season, and in doing so gave us one of the best pictures of the season; Nicky Clark returned to Dunfermline Athletic as a Dundee United player and ruined one fan’s weekend, before showing the ultimate respect to his former club on twitter; Zak Rudden announced he would remain on loan at Falkirk til the end of the season; and Berwick Rangers managed to keep their sense of humour as they were humped 1-7 by Queen’s Park.
I’ll give a more comprehensive roundup of the lower league action when I have more characters to play with, and Scottish Cup results will get rounded up after the replays, but have to mention junior side Auchinleck Talbot knocking Ayr United out. What a result that is - they visit Hearts at Tynecastle for the next round.
Well, that’s all. Just as a final note: cheers to everyone who voted for these in the soccer end of year awards. Very kind of you, and I was delighted to be win some gold (twice!) off the unseen masonic mod team. *
May have been from the Old Firm post-match Thread and not the soccer mods.
Check out /ScottishFootball for good patter and discussion of the SPFL
Last week’s matches were rounded up here:
● data from
● any progress on soccerbot?
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2018.10.18 20:58 mycketforvirrad Daily Echo: Jermain Defoe says strike partner Lys Mousset could be unbelievable.

Daily Echo: Jermain Defoe says strike partner Lys Mousset could be unbelievable. submitted by mycketforvirrad to AFCBournemouth [link] [comments]

2018.03.13 17:02 sonofaBilic West Ham fans vs. the Board: An insight on why it's boiling over.

Alright fellas. Following on from all of the dramas that transpired at the London Stadium last Saturday I’ve seen plenty of questions asked around here about what exactly it is that has the West Ham faithful wound up tighter than a two quid watch, so I was hoping to use this opportunity to air a few of our grievances and let you decide whether you think we are overly entitled mugs or whether our concern for the direction our club is heading is well founded.

Transfer Dealings: How to make enemies and influence your reputation.

Now there’s been plenty of complaints about the transfer business we’ve conducted and these complaints are routinely met with comments akin to “you’ve broken your transfer record in the last two Summer windows”, which is an absolute fact – we have done. Under the Gold, Sullivan & Brady regime we’ve seen our record outlay increase from £10m for Craig Bellamy to £22m for Marko Arnautovic. Hell, the sole reason we returned to the Premier League was because we hurled money at the problem, signing more or less any player in the league who’d scored 10 goals.
That’s not necessarily the issue here though, the big complaint you’ll find from most Hammers is more about how this business is conducted, and just how fractured it’s left our squad.
I know you’ve all seen the transfer stories that crop up every transfer window, those lovely one’s where tinpot little West Ham have submitted a derisory bid for a player such as Arter, Defoe, Dembele,, Snodgrass, or Dendoncker – well this has essentially become the raison d'etre for the transfer business we conduct. The incentive for our chief negotiators, which Sullivan has admitted he plays a central part in, is clearly to submit a bid and try to unsettle the player and get them to force a move by leaking it to his trusted sources in the mainstream media like the Sun – a rag that both our chairman’s son Jack Sullivan, and co-chairwoman Karren Brady (more on your column later you slug) happen to have written regular columns for.. We saw this last winter when Snodgrass attempted to force a move, we saw it in the Summer when Carvalho tried to force a move, and this winter when Dendoncker tried to force a move. Now obviously not everyone has an affection for Only Fools and Horses, so this dodgy whealin’ and dealin’ has in some cases gone down like a lead balloon, as evidenced just this past January when Kuban Krasnodar and their number 1 geezer up front Fedor Smolov refused to deal with us, stating:  
“I have spent two and a half years in Krasnodar, and I think that the club has the right to receive a decent compensation for my transfer. When I realised that this might not happen, I asked the club and agents to stop any negotiations on this topic.”
Meaning the Russian club have joined the ranks of Anderlecht, Leicester, Sporting CP and Tottenham in refusing to deal with us. Now surely that is an untenable situation. The board are willing to drag the name of the club through the dirt, ruining any sort of mutual respect that should exist between clubs as businesses all in an effort to penny pinch and save a few bob in an era where we were promised "World Class players in a World Class Stadium". I’m sure you’ve all seen it already, but you seriously need to look at the leaked “transfer negotiations” conducted by David Sullivan in our efforts to sign William Carvalho -
“We wish to conclude this asap or we’ll be borrowing aplayer from PSG”
  Embarrassing. What happens when our derisory transfer tactics actually work out and we actually bring players in? Well that won’t stop the powers that be from throwing you under the bus either – as Marouane “Not My Pick” Chamakh, or “My kids begged me not to sign” Snodgrass and Fonte will testify. Not to mention using the signings as a platform to disrupt players already at the team as, such as Adrian or Andy Carroll. In January we shipped out Andre Ayew to relegation rivals Swansea, Jose Fonte to Dalian Yifang and Diafra Sakho to Rennes after all three refused to feature for us any more, all a bit reminiscent of a certain chubby French Mohawk merchant currently sunning it up in Marseille. Maybe they're all drama queens, but surely this being such a regular occurrence can't be representative of a harmonious changing room.
  Top all this off with January’s developments when emails were leaked our highlighting that Tony Henry, director of player recruitment – something we’ve already identified that Sulli likes to stick his oar in to – had told agents that we “don’t want any more African’s”. Asked whether this was club policy he initially replied “no”, only to then change his answer. “Yeah, because we had three and we felt we didn’t particularly want any more African players”. Henry was sacked, Sullivan denied any connection, but given how hands on he likes to be and with his penchant for leaking stories it's hard for many of us to take his word for it.
World Class players at a World Class Stadium we were told. While the was little illusion that we’re suddenly going to be competing with Man City and Barcelona in the transfer market, we were told our move to a new ground would spark a much more ambitious way of handling ourselves in the transfer market, and how have we ended up looking to our peers? Tinpot.

The London Stadium and our legacy

  Now I’ve seen plenty of people look back at our final season at the Boleyn Ground and say “you were all excited about the move” as if we were eager to be the first ones knocking down the John Lyall gates and lead the charge to the promised land of Stratford International, but what you need to understand are the absolute raft of porky pies we were sold in the build up to the move to this "World Class Stadium" that lead to the tentative excitement from the fanbase.
“There is no way that we can go to the Olympic Stadium unless our seats are in a similar distance to what they are now”
David Gold was quoted saying while stood pitch side at the Boleyn. The distance between the fans and the pitch at the London Stadium was about 4 miles, but don’t worry – it was all under control. In reality, it was only the result of Tottenham and Leyton Orients refusal to accept the initial bidding process that allowed the option for retractable seating to be installed, so if it had all gone to plan then we would have been even further from the pitch then we currently are. So what we've been given here is a bare faced lie.
Sticking with Gold, last week he was interview on Phoenix FM radio and he claimed that the ills of the stadium are down to athletics, and if athletics were no longer at the ground then everything would be hunky dory. Which is a bizarre statement to make given that you and your business partners have agreed to rent an athletics stadium, under the proviso that it would remain an athletics stadium appropriated to sublet as a football ground.
  We were repeatedly told the redevelopment of the Boleyn Ground was impossible. The erection of a new East Stand would restrict natural lighting for the flats behind the ground, so the fact that new apartment blocks are being built there that will tower over the height of the proposed East Stand now seems a bit odd. We were told that the old bus depot behind the ground would restrict growth, so the bus depot going bust and getting sold off for peanuts also seems a bit odd. It was the only option way we could grow, we were told. The fact that the Double D’s launched their first presser after purchasing us with their intentions to move in to the Olympic Stadium seems to suggest that they’d not even looked in to the option of staying put on Green Street, instead they’d seen the huge money making opportunity available in acquiring a stadium funded by someone else. Almost as if they’d tried it on before at Birmingham City.
Despite all this, we were actually able to post record £43m profit for the 16/17 season so perhaps the move is the perfect money spinner the club needed – ah no wait we would’ve posted the same at the Boleyn. Why is the stadium so good David Gold was asked in his interview, “because we get 60,000 turning up each week” was the best he could give when any mug watching the tele, seeing those clear white seats peer right back at you, could tell you that he’s sat counting the ticket revenue and paying no mind to bums on seats.
The "World Class Stadium" is not a football ground, anyone who has been there can tell you that. We’ve been told we can’t change the seats from white to claret, we can’t ditch the green felt surrounding the pitch, there’s a good chance we will never be able to play at home on boxing day because the Metropolitan Police won’t let us, and as was clearly evidenced on Saturday we cannot ensure the security of players and families inside the stadium. World Class players at a World Class Stadium. Imagine fleecing the tax payer for that soulless bowl.
  The legacy of the Boleyn Ground isn’t the only part of our legacy that Sullivan and Gold have tarnished, mind. Perhaps one of the most important figures of our recent history is a chap named Tony Carr. His is a name that those outside of the Hammers fan base may not have heard of, but you will certainly witnessed the fruits of his labour – as the director of our academy Carr helped nurture talents like Rio Ferdinand, Frank Lampard, Joe Cole, Michael Carrick, Jermaine Defoe, Glenn Johnson and Mark Noble, and after 43 years of service the board ran down his ambassadorial contract and made him redundant.
“The way it was done with people from HR, who have been here hardly any time at all, was particularly disrespectful in my opinion but that’s the way of the world these days.”
The club legend was quoted as saying following his departure. Other club legends like Billy Bonds and Frank McAvennie had the nerve to question whether the ground fit for purpose as football stadium. They haven’t been invited back since.
Right then, how about that Badge Change – now we’re not exactly averse to a badge change, lord knows we’ve had a few in our history, the big issue for most fans (aside from the obvious ms paint looking unveiling) is the forcing of the word “London” in to it. There’s 16 badges on that picture I just linked, how many of them have London in them? We’re not West Ham London. We’re West Ham. This is the most blatant attempt at commercialising our identity since Baroness Brady proposed that we change our name to West Ham Olympic.
We’ve lost our home, our legends and our identity to this mob who continue to spout tone death nonsense about their plans to elevate us to the elite.  

A Nightmare on PR tweet.

Getting wound up writing all this now, so I’m just gonna throw an assortment of examples of how poorly the board and their relations represent us as a club:
Individually, we might be able to write these indictments off as a bit of a PR slip up - but realistically these, and many other occasions of the club being used as a platform form the egomaniacal cronies in charge are symptomatic of the fairground funhouse we have become. I could go on and on here, but the point i'm trying to get out here is simply how alienated many Hammers fans now feel from the club they love. I know there have been posts on here detailing the absolute state of the march that had been arranged for last Saturday, and why it is that West Ham fans had wanted to march. Well that march didn't go ahead amid rumours of the board buying off the extreme right wing fan group claiming to represent all fans, so again countless fans felt that their voices aren't being heard because of the absolute circus they are trying to speak to.  
What I want to pick up on here though is that not once have I bemoaned our lack of a champions league push, or the second relegation battle on the trot. We’re West Ham. We’re shit. Our club song literally says “fortunes always hiding” so you’re not surprising anyone when you try to remind West Ham fans that we’ve never been one of the big boys. We never had a raft of trophies or a rich European heritage to hold on to, but what we did have was our identity and that is being stripped away by David Sullivan, David Gold and Karren Brady and for what? We are little more than a vanity project for them, and for all the fed up fans who vented their fury on Saturday afternoon – I may not necessarily agree with throwing coins or harassing players, but I certainly agree with why they did it. COYI.
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2018.01.02 23:17 NewRCTID22 MLS Moments of Unintentional Comedy Countdown: #27-#21

Check out #35-#28 here
Let’s continue, shall we….
27. Defoe vs Gilberto squabble
The first entry in the second part of the countdown takes us back to June 2014, where “bloody big deal” signing Jermain Defoe was playing at a half-full Red Bull Arena instead of crashing out of the World Cup with England. Tied at 1-1 in the 72’ minute, Toronto were provided a golden opportunity to take a crucial lead over the previous season’s Supporters Shield winners, and Defoe, who scored earlier in the match, ran over to set up the free kick. However, his strike partner (and fellow major disappointment), Gilberto, had gotten there first, and thus commenced a kindergarten squabble of pushing and shoving. Ultimately, Gilberto won out, lacing the past Luis Robles, and the camera panned back to Defoe who began to choke down the largest piece of humble pie. Toronto would go on to concede a 90’ minute equalizer and would miss out on the playoffs, and Defoe and Gilberto were eventually sent away to the soccer armpits that are/were Sunderland and the Chicago Fire.
26. 2013 D.C. United in one GIF
It was the end of the 2013 season, and D.C. United traveled to a frigid Sporting Park looking to close out one of the most tragic regular seasons in MLS history. In what was an all-around garbage match, those who stuck around to watch were gifted what would become one of the greatest gifs we’ve ever been blessed to see, as Daniel Woolard wholly whiffed on an attempted cross. You’d almost feel bad, considering this was one of his final professional games, but at the same time, it’s just…...beautiful.
25. Lovel Palmer’s career in 9 seconds
This one is included as a personal favorite of mine, and no, this isn’t the 2013 MLS Cup PK shootout (no need to turn away RSL fans), even though that is equally applicable. If there is anything that former Houston, Portland, RSL and Chicago defender Lovel Palmer is known for, it’s his thunderous right boot that’s strikes could infrequently (and I mean very infrequently) produce world-class goals. But as he lined up his trademark audacious attempts, you could pretty much guarantee the ensuing shot would flummox Air Traffic Controllers and NASA employees as it hurdled through the stratosphere. This clip extracted from an ultimately meaningless September 2011 match takes you through the rollercoaster ride that is Lovel Palmer in 9 seconds.
Honor reel: Best of Celebrations
7. Charlie Davis locked out of a Volkswagen
6. Adi’s safety code violation
5. Henry-ing
4. La panterita
3. All of Kei Kamara
2. Eskandarian drinks a Red Bull
1. Levesque scuba dive
24. Montreal meltdown
It was Halloween of 2013, and we all sat down to watch as “tactical mastermind” Dominic Kinnear and his Houston Dynamo squared off against a punchy Montreal Impact side, whose form down the stretch is aptly described by the word “merde.” No one expected an intriguing match, especially after the lineups got released, revealing a first start for Colombian CB Nelson Rivas, who hadn’t seen a single minute of game action in over a year. But in the end, what we were treated to was, in the words of Simon Borg, “one of the most epic meltdowns in MLS history”. First, the aforementioned Rivas was shown two yellow cards for “unsporting behavior,” as he twice thrust his elbow through then-Dynamo forward, Will Bruin’s, head. Next, Andres Romero decided that kicking the ball wasn’t good enough, as he tried to drive his leg through both of Kofi Sarkodie’s. Then, as a childish fracas ensued, Marco Di Vaio attempted to scratch Corey Ashe’s face twice, which - what the actual fuck. In the end, the Impact became the first team to receive three reds in a match, Marco Schallibaum got sacked for being a dipshit, and the team would drop to last place the following year. Good going, guys.
23. Corben Bone’s entire career with the Union
We’ve already seen the fastest red card in MLS history in this countdown, courtesy of Joe Nasco, but perhaps one of the most bizarre belongs to little-used midfielder Corben Bone. In a May 2014 match between Sporting Kansas City and the Philadelphia Union, Bone entered in the 89’ minute, looking to help his side close up shop for an improbable road victory at Sporting Park. The victory would be a shock for all around the league, but before the whistle blew, Bone had a shock of his own, in the form of a studs-up challenge through Jacob Peterson’s shins. Ricardo Salazar had no hesitation going to the back pocket, and Bone would be off after only a minute. He’d go on to only play 13 minutes for the Union, meaning he easily has one of the best red cards-to-minutes ratio in MLS history. Way to leave an imprint, Corben.
22. Who does MLS hate more?
Often times when two sides engage in a fight, you can only hope for both parties to lose, as was the case in a series of altercations between the New York Red Bulls and Toronto FC in the 2017 Eastern Conference Semifinals. Here, the two main belligerents were now-literally-as-I’m-writing-this Orlando midfielder Sacha Kljestan, who’s used to being a dick and Toronto forward Jozy Altidore, who’s also used to being a dick. What started as an exchange of pleasantries between the two, with Altidore dropping faster than the USMNT’s standing on the Hex’s final day, seemed to die down before halftime, but all of soccer Twitter was set alight by the failure of either player to reemerge from the dressing room at halftime. Turns out, the two reignited their playground bullshit in an all-out BMO Field tunnel brawl, rendering both suspended from their next matches. In the end, though Danny Royer’s deflected effort found the net in the 2nd half, Kljestan’s Red Bulls would not have enough in the tank to advance in the playoffs (shocking), and Jozy Altidore would eventually cement himself as a TFC legend. We may be stuck with Sacha for a few more years, but Jozy, on behalf of all USMNT (and TFC fans for that matter), I invite you to stay in Canada for the rest of your life.
21. Lee Roy Jenkins Miller!
The 2012 Eastern Conference Semifinals saw the New York Red Bulls and D.C. United square off in one of the most thrilling, intense yet bizarre series in MLS history. After an interesting first leg that ended 1-1 after two own goals, including one from NYRB legend Roy Miller (foreshadowing alert), the two Atlantic Cup rivals faced off again at Red Bull Arena with everything to play for-well, at least after this. Though the Red Bulls dominated, they couldn’t find a goal, even after a Bill Hamid red card and subsequent penalty shitshow which saw Kenny Cooper’s retaken penalty get saved by the scraggly bearded-wonder, Joe Willis. With the man advantage, they pushed the black-and-red to the brink, but an 88’ counterattack finished off by Nick DeLeon, stunned the home “crowd”, pushing Hans Backe’s side to edge of the all-to-familiar playoff elimination. As the seconds ticked down, the Red Bulls were given a free kick at the top of the arc - a glorious, last-gasp chance to equalize. But no problem; they had Thierry Henry, a former World Cup champion, 5-time EPL golden boot winner, and arguably the best striker in the early 21st century. With the series as electric as it was, you just felt Henry would finesse it into the upper 90 and send the South Ward into a mixture of ecstasy and relief. But no, up stepped Roy Miller, who tamely dropped it into Row Q, and went from GOAT to scapegoat in a matter of moments (he’s back to GOAT tho).
And if you think that’s the last we’ve seen of Roy Miller in this countdown, you’ll be surprised…
Up next: #20-#14 with divers, boneheads, and fights
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2017.10.11 18:38 fisherpriceman [OC] Sun, Becks and Suspicious Players - 20 years of hope, failure and the downright outrageous stories from the English national team - Part 2

Part 1 if you missed it! -
2004 European Championship Sexy Sven kept his job following the 2002 World Cup, England had only been knocked out by the eventual winners Brazil and that night in Munich was still fresh in everyone's minds (still is 16 years later). England's qualifying group was winnable with the biggest threat coming from Turkey, an away day that would give the average England fan a much needed opportunity to eat a kebab for the first time. The campaign didn't start too brilliantly, in conditions only best described as the 1970's, England came back from a goal down to beat Slovakia late on. England built on this performance by managing a valiant 2-2 draw with the almighty Macedonia at home, a game well remembered for featuring a goal straight from a corner kick in which David Seaman repeated his brilliant performance against Brazil in the World Cup. But there was hope, just 3 days after this draw at home a young 16 year old schoolboy, who looked like a 47 year old butcher, came out of nowhere to score a screamer against Arsenal. Seaman beaten once again, this time by a lad who wasn't that long since named something similar. England had Roo-fever already, he won the 2002 BBC Young Sports Personality of the Year and was destined for an England call up... In an easily winnable friendly against Australia, Rooney was given his first cap making him the youngest England player of all time. After an unconvincing start to the campaign the England fans needed a lift and brushing aside these ex-convicts would put us on the right track. England lost 3-1 and were booed off. On the bright side, our rising star striker got his first goal on his debut, a 100% scoring record that would last for the rest of his international career, well done Francis Jeffers. After a series of forgetful wins, England required a draw away to Turkey in the final game to secure a place in Portugal and an uninspiring 0-0 draw did the job. England were once again going to a major tournament and we had a good team! World class players playing for the best teams around, Beckham, Gerrard, Lampard, Cole, Terry, Ferdinand, what could go wrong? On the 19th December in true Christmas spirit, The FA banned Rio Ferdinand for 8 months after being found guilty of missing a drugs test. He would miss the European Championships.
England's group for the tournament wasn't easy and their first match was against defending champions France. In a performance completely un-England like, Lampard took the lead and in the second half boy wonder Wayne Rooney raced away from Silvestre who brought him down for a penalty. Up stepped Golden Balls to put England into a 2-0 lead against the reigning champions, but Fabien Barthez who had lost to place to Roy Carroll in the Manchester United side, saved it. With 89 minutes on the clock England were still fine, but in peak England fashion they somehow gave a free kick and a penalty away in two minutes. Zidane scored them both and England began their summer with a loss, somehow. 18 year old Wayne Rooney wasn't going to let these clowns ruin his first holiday away from Butlins though, he scored 4 goals in our next two games to take England through to the knockout stage. No doubt he would do this at international tournaments for years to come. England faced hosts Portugal in the quarter finals and got off to a brilliant start, Michael Owen scoring after 3 minutes. But then disaster struck, just 27 minutes into the game Rooney broke his metatarsal (we've heard of that bone before) and limped off. England kept the hosts at bay until the 83rd minute when Helder Postiga, a man who had scored 1 league goal all season for Tottenham Hotspur, equalised. Same old England? No! Not today! In the 90th minute England went up the other end, Owen hit the bar and then Sol Campbell rose majestically to head the ball home. England were surely through to the semi finals, and even more fittingly Sol Campbell exorcised his demons from his disallowed header from the 1998 World Cup. Oh wait no, the goal was ruled out for a push and into extra time we go, same old England? It certainly seemed that way when Rui Costa battered one home with ten minutes of extra time to go, but Lampard equalised! Maybe, just maybe England could win this time! Onto penalties we go, surely we can't be beaten again? Beckham hit one into the stratosphere before Spurs goal machine Postiga did a panenka (wtf?). It was up to Darius Vassell to score a vital penalty and in one of the most ridiculous sequence of events that has happened to England, Portuguese goalkeeper Ricardo took his gloves off, saved Vassell's penalty and then scored the winner himself to knock England out of a major tournament, in bizarre circumstances, yet again.
2006 World Cup Following the 2004 tournament it was revealed Sexy Sven had been up to his old tricks again, FA secretary Faria Alam describing him as a "master of love" as information about their affair came to light. Under increasing pressure, the players backed Sven and even threatened to strike if he got sacked, suggesting Faria Alam wasn't the only one who had fallen for this sexy hunk. The FA extended Sven's contract until Euro 2008. England were in a qualifying group with fellow home nations Wales and Northern Ireland and despite beating Wales home and away, lost in Belfast to a single David Healy goal. It was the first time England had lost to Northern Ireland in 23 years and the first time since 1927 that Northern Ireland had beaten England in Belfast, one of England's most embarrassing defeats of all time had the media begging for Sven's head. Despite this, England finished top of the group winning their next two games but the media were relentless and caught Svenny boy out. In January 2006 an undercover News of the World reporter Mazher Mahmood tricked Sven into believing a wealthy Arab was ready to buy out Aston Villa and they wanted him as manager. The whole thing was caught on secret camera and the FA decided that Sven would step down following the World Cup. We could finally see the end of Sven's crazy ride as England national team manager. But he wasn't done, after making just 13 senior appearances in football and not making any for Arsenal at all yet, 16 year old Theo Walcott was named in Sven's World Cup squad. Walcott was chosen over Darren Bent (the highest-scoring English forward in the Premier League in the 2005–06 season), Andrew Johnson (the top English goalscorer in the Premier League in the 2004–05 season), Dean Ashton (like Bent, already an established player at England Under-21 level) and Jermain Defoe. It was all worth it though as Walcott played exactly 0 minutes in the 2006 World Cup but he gained "valuable experience." One of the reasons for calling up Walcott was linked to the golden boy of the last tournament, Wayne Rooney had injured his metatarsal (that again) in a serious case of deja-vu and was a big doubt for the tournament. The country was in meltdown and literally anything was worth a try to try and get our Wayne to Germany. Wayne needed a miracle and by jove he got one! He was named in the England squad for Sven's last World Cup. Rooney didn't make England's opening game but he wasn't needed! Rooney's goalscoring prowess was replaced with Carlos Gamarra of Paraguay who scored an own goal to gift England a 1-0 win. The incredible performances continued and Peter Crouch pulled a man's dreadlocks to help England overcome Trinidad AND Tobago at the same time. Sven's home country were next up and once again disaster struck, Michael Owen fell over with no one around him just minutes into the game and tore his cruciate ligament. Just as Wayne Rooney had made it back into the side, his strike partner's tournament was over. It wasn't all bad though Joe Cole scored an absolute blummin belter and it looked like Gerrard had made it 3 wins from 3 in the 85th minute before some masterful English defending from a dangerous throw in let Larsson in to score. England finished top of the group anyway and after a David Beckham free kick saw off Ecuador in an otherwise completely forgettable game, once again England were set to meet Portugal in the quarter finals. It would be the third time in a row Sven met Scolari. This game had significantly less goals than the game 2 years earlier but as always involving England, there was enough drama to last a lifetime. Wayne Rooney had fought back heroically to be involved and now had a few games under his belt at the tournament, many believed if he hadn't got injured in 2004 England would've beat Porugal, so this was the time to prove it! Rooney was sent off just after the hour mark. Tussling with Carvalho he appeared to stamp on his Pastéis de Nata's right in front of the referee. Manchester United club mate Ronaldo got involved, inexplicably tried to help his country win in an international tournament instead of siding with his best pal from Manchester and winked at the bench after doing so. Down to ten men and without captain David Beckham who had gone off injured, England valiantly held on to a 0-0 draw and the prospect of penalties beckoned. Not again..... It was okay this time though, our first two penalty takers were Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard, two guys who regularly score penalties for their clubs. They both missed. Jamie Carragher (lethal goalscorer) was brought on in the 119th minute so he could take a penalty. After initially scoring he had to retake the penalty, and missed. Up stepped Ronaldo, who had already shoved a dagger to the heart of the English public with that wink, and he scored the decisive penalty. Once again England had been knocked out on penalties, continuing the record of never winning a penalty shoot-out in the tournament. The morning after the game, David Beckham announced he would step down as England captain in an emotional press conference. Sven's soap opera was over, he had led us to three consecutive quarter final appearances but it wasn't good enough for our Golden Generation. What we needed now was a no-nonsense Englishman to take over and get the best out of this squad and god forbid, wouldn't try and shag everything in sight. The decision on the new manager had already been announced before the tournament.
Next time on Sun, Becks and Suspicious Players -
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2016.12.14 16:48 MajesticTowerOfHats Pre Match Thread Sunderland v Chelsea

Sunderland Vs Chelsea FC

It's Wednesday you know what that means.
Date: 14th December
Kick off: 19:45 BST The Timezone Countdown
Venue: Stadium Of Light, Sunderland
BBC Newcastle
Last starting XI:
...........................Jordan Pickford.........................
Billy Jones.......Lamine Kone .....Djilobodji...... Patrick van Aanholt
..............Larsson.......D NDong ............. Denayer ...... Pienaar..........
Previous Results:
Date Fixture Result Score Competition
02 Nov 1907 Sunderland v Chelsea W 3-0 League Division One
19 April 2014 Chelsea v Sunderland W 1-2 Premier League
29 Nov 2014 Sunderland v Chelsea D 0-0 Premier League
24 May 2015 Chelsea v Sunderland L 3-1 Premier League
19 Dec 2015 Chelsea v Sunderland L 3-1 Premier League
07-May-16 Sunderland v Chelsea W 3-2 Premier League
Sunderland: WWLWL
Chelsea: WWWWW
Team Characteristics
Sunderland's Strengths Chelsea's Strengths
Can spend money with no tangible benefit V Strong Counter Attacks Very Strong
Creating chances through individuals skills Very Strong
Sunderland's Weaknesses Weak Defending set pieces Very Strong
Avoiding individual errors Weak Creating long shot opportunities Strong
Defending set pieces Weak Creating scoring chances Strong
Defending against attacks down the wings Weak Attacking set pieces Strong
Protecting the lead Weak Finishing scoring chances Strong
Stopping opponents from creating chances Very Weak Protecting the lead Strong
Keeping possession of the ball Very Weak Stealing the ball from the opposition Strong
Defending against long shots Chelsea's Weaknesses
Sunderland's Style Aerial duels Weak
Long balls Chelsea's Style
Attempt crosses often Short passes
Aggressive Possession football
Rotate their first eleven Consistent first eleven
Team news:
Jermain Defoe tops the Black Cats’ scoring charts with eight goals and he’s the only player in Premier League history to score against Chelsea for four different teams.
The 34-year-old has played a part in 71% of Sunderland’s Premier League goals this season and, just like strike partner Victor Anichebe, will be vital to success against the Blues.
Lee Cattermole, Paddy McNair, Duncan Watmore and Lynden Gooch will once again miss out with Jack Rodwell also a ‘couple of weeks’ away from returning according to Sunderland manager Moyes.
-+ Didier Ndong serves a one-match suspension on Wednesday as a result of accumulating five bookings this season.
Chelsea FC
West Ham United were the last side to defeat Chelsea in any competition with the Hammers earning a 2-1 win in the EFL Cup, but it proved little more than a blip and they were without key players Eden Hazard and Diego Costa.
The duo have been simply unstoppable this season and returned to the heights which saw them fire the Blues to the title during the 2014-15 season, with Costa scoring 12 Premier League goals already while also contributing five assists.
Hazard, meanwhile, has found the net on eight occasions while providing one assist, but he will miss out and won’t travel to the Stadium of Light.
The Guy Mowbray Quote Of The Week - "It might be bottom versus top, but this is the sort of game Sunderland win. No, I've not been at the sherry prematurely, I've just seen them do it before."
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2015.05.09 13:57 winchyy Coates Starts vs Everton

Forgotten man Sebastian Coates is starting at centre-half vs Everton at Goodison Park right now. I'll update things he does starting from the 10' minute mark. Wearing No. 22 for those tuning in.
HDFootballLive - AcaiPalm
(Be warned it is Michael Owen commentating)
Gyfs credit - Jezamiah from /soccer
Match Report
Kick Off
1'-10' Couple of good blocks, including one on a Lukaku shot from 6 yards out.
10' Seb fouls Barkley 30 yards out right in front. Looked like a dive. Replay confirms. Nothing comes of it.
13' Lukaku through 1 on 1 with Pantilimon. Can't really blame Seb as the Belgian ran off of Wes Brown, who doesn't seem to be the best centre-half partner to have against the pace of Everton. Good Luck Seb.
20' GREAT INTERCEPTION! Everton work Coleman in behind Van Aanholt, who puts the ball across the 6 yard boss looking for Lukaku. But in slides Coates, teleporting from the edge of the box to snuf out the attack. Coates 3-Everton 0
24' Coates again proving his dominance over Lukaku. Ball trying to put the striker in behind is cut out by the Uruguayan, who also shows his pace to get first.
35' Defoe fucks up, Baines get's free wide left near the by-line, looks to put a ball in. Coates positioning is on point, heads clear.
37' Majestic overhead defensive clearance from Coates. Add that to him continuing to physically dominate Lukaku, and effectively take him out of the game, and its probably been the best defensive performance by a Liverpool defender this season. Pity he's not playing for us though. odd.
42' The fact that Wes Brown is paid to play football is why I think I might be one day. The clueless twat goes sprinting into the back of James McCarthy, scything out his legs, while McCarthy lays it off to Osman, who now has 35 yards to beat Seb in a 2v1 with Lukaku. Seb's got his back to Lukaku as he moves back towards Pantillimon's penalty box. The striker drifts two yards wider to create some space, and Osman plays it to his left foot. Seb rashly (and poorly tbh) dives in just outside the penalty area, and misses, but Lukaku's touch is horrible, and the pressure from Billy Jones (Sunderland right back) and the onrushing Pantilimon are enough to clear the ball, but only as far as Lennon, who takes on Coates at the by-line by putting a ball across the penalty spot back to Leon Osman. His shot rifles past 3 Sunderland players who simulatenously dive at his feet, deflects off of Wes Browns right foot as he took a swing, and is stopped on the line by Pantilimon's gigantic dick. Brown clears. Brown's also booked for his terrible challenge on McCarthy, which led to the attack.
43' Route One ball has Coates wrestling one-on-one with Lukaku. Even in the penalty area, Coates proves his dominance, easily pushing him aside and clearing the ball.
Half Time So far, Coates has looked better than alot of other Premier League defenders this season. He has made Lukaku his bitch. Positioning on point, not alot in terms of distribution, as Sunderland have spent alot of the game withut the ball, as would be expected.
Second Half Kicks Off
48' Bit of Ping Pong from a Everton corner. 5 corners in a row in fact. Each one more depressing than the next. Everton dominating possession already, nothing of note from Coates yet.
54' GOAL!!!!!! For a team nicknamed the 'Black Cats', Sunderland just got ironically lucky. Terrible strike from Jordi Gomez which was headed out the fire stairs deflects off Danny Graham's calf and bobbles as uncertainly as a Chelsea fan after a draw off of the post into net. First goal for Sunderland for Graham, first in 28 games aswell. Coates celebrated. Sunderland 1-0
62' Coates dragged wide right to deal with Lukaku, who manages to get a ball in to the box, which doesnt fall to an Everton player.
68' Coates update. Spent alot of this half with Lukaku backing into him as Everton dominate possession around the Sunderland penalty area. Not alot of individual moments, but good solid play and positioning so far.
73' McCarthy screamer hits the post. Nothing to do with Coates, which isn't great considering it was probably his job to go close him down. Sunderland continue to hold on.
75' Good hold up play from Lukaku with Coates at his back, lays it off to McCarthy who had continued his run and wasn't tracked by Larsson straight away. Coates does his best to get in the way, but McCarthy's through, kinda. Manages to veer to the left, nutmeg Jones and send it soaring skyward off his left foot.
EDIT: On further inspection, Coates got a crucial touch on the lay off from Lukaku to McCarthy, which ricocheted the ball off McCarthy which made it a much tougher chance for the Everton midfielder. Well Done Seb.
85' GOAL!!!!! Steven Fletcher scampers round the Everton box on all fours, somehow keeping the ball as he works his way from the by line to the penalty spot, tripping up John Stones as he gives it to the kiddy fiddler Adam Johnson, who's shot deflects first off of Coleman, and then hit's Jermain Defoe in the thigh and goes in. Sunderland 2-0
The Sunderland fans seem happy about it
This match is so resemblent of Liverpool vs Chelsea last season at Anfield. Everton poured forward all game, were far the better team and deserved to win. But they didnt. Sunderland sat deep and countered, with a solid defensive performance from our lad Sebastian Coates key in their winning performance.
Everton had their chances and didn't take them, and Sunderland are now, you would think, safe from relegation. Coates looked good overall, especially individually in the first half. Second half was more of an entire team defensive effort, whereas he stood out with some big moments in the first half.
Looking forward to seeing him with the club in pre-season, if he gets the chance.
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2015.01.17 15:39 WillSpur A tad bitter - Toronto FC on Twitter: "#COYS! We wish our partner @SpursOfficial all the best today as they take on Jermain Defoe and Sunderland."

A tad bitter - Toronto FC on Twitter: submitted by WillSpur to coys [link] [comments]

2012.09.01 15:00 jspegele Match Thread: Tottenham Hotspur v Norwich City

Match Info

Tottenham Hotspur v Norwich City
Premier League 15:00 GMT / 10:00 EDT, September 1, 2012 White Hart Lane, England Referee: Mark Halsey Attendance: 36,142


Preview and Live Updates BBC Football Soccernet Sky Sports
Streams FirstRowSports Real-TV-Sport Sopcast:
Sub Reddits COYS NorwichCity


  • Tottenham's new £15m signing Mousa Dembele could make his debut for the club after moving from Fulham.
  • Fellow Belgian Jan Vertonghen will continue to partner William Gallas in central defence, with Younes Kaboul ruled out for up to four months.
  • Simon Lappin will miss out for Norwich due to an ankle injury, but fellow midfielder Robert Snodgrass should be fit after a minor leg problem.
  • New signing Alex Tettey is likely to be named on the substitutes' bench.


Clint Dempsey Harry Kane (Loan)
Hugo Lloris Rafael Van der Vaart
Moussa Dembele David Button
Emmanuel Adebayor Danny Rose (Loan)
Jan Vertonghen Giovanni dos Santos
Gylfi Siggurdson Luka Modric
Sebastien Bassong
Steven Pienaar
Ryan Nelsen
Niko Kranjčar
Vedran Ćorluka
Louis Saha (Released)
Ledley King (Retired)
Steven Whittaker Adam Drury
Robert Snodgrass Aaron Wilbraham
Michael Turner Zak Whitbread
Sebastien Bassong Adnrew Crofts
Alexander Tettey
Mark Bunn

Match Preview

  • Tottenham have won six of the 10 previous Premier League meetings between the two clubs, with Norwich triumphing twice.
  • The Canaries won 2-1 in April at White Hart Lane last season, while Spurs won 2-0 at Carrow Road in December 2011.
  • The highest-scoring match between them at White Hart Lane came when Spurs won 5-1 in the Premier League on 9 April, 1993.
  • Spurs have now won just four of their last 15 Premier League matches.
  • They are yet to keep a clean sheet this season.
  • The Lilywhites have scored in their last 25 Premier League matches at White Hart Lane since the 0-0 draw against West Ham in March 2011.
  • Chris Hughton has failed to win in his last seven Premier League matches as manager since Newcastle won 1-0 at Arsenal in November 2010.
  • The Canaries have won one of their past five Premier League away games.
  • After 10 appearances without a goal, Canadian forward Simeon Jackson has scored in his past two games for the club.

League Table

Team P W D L F A GD Pts
2 Chelsea 3 3 0 0 8 2 6 9
1 Swansea City 2 2 0 0 8 0 8 6
3 Everton 2 2 0 0 4 1 3 6
4 West Brom 2 1 1 0 3 1 3 4
. . .
14 Tottenham 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
. . .
18 Norwich City 2 0 1 1 1 6 -5 1

Team Comparison

Team Stats Tottenham Norwich
Matches Played 2 2
Table Position 14 17
Points 1 1
Goal Difference -1 -5
Goals for * 1.0 0.0
Goals against * 1.0 5.0
Last 5 D-L D-L
Last 5 home D D
Last 5 away L L

Team Leaders

Tottenham Norwich
Goals Jermain Defoe 1 Simeon Jackson 1
Yellows Jake Livermore 1
Goals per match - home matches for home club and away matches for away club


Tottenham 24 Brad Friedel G 05 Jan Vertonghen D 13 William Gallas D (C) 32 Benoit Assou-Ekotto D 28 Kyle Walker D 29 Jake Livermore M 30 Sandro M └ 19 Moussa Dembele 11 Gareth Bale M 07 Aaron Lennon M 22 Gylfi Sigurdsson F └ 10 Emmanuel Adebayor 18 Jermain Defoe F └ 6 Tom Huddlestone
Substitutes: 23 Carlo Cudicini, 10 Emmanuel Adebayor, 6 Tom Huddlestone, 19 Moussa Dembele, 16 Kyle Naughton, 31 Andros Townsend, 33 Steven Caulker
Norwich 1 John Ruddy G 5 Sebastien Bassong D 20 Leon Barnett D 18 Javier Garrido D 2 Russell Martin D 4 Bradley Johnson M 8 Jonathan Howson M 12 Anthony Pilkington M 7 Robert Snodgrass M 9 Grant Holt F (C) 10 Simeon Jackson F └ 16 Steve Morison
Substitutes: 14 Wesley Hoolahan, 6 Michael Turner, 23 Marc Tierney, 11 Andrew Surman, 27 Alexander Tettey, 13 Declan Rudd, 16 Steve Morison.

Match Events

35': Not a lot of action to speak of yet. Both teams have had a few chances, but neither able to do much with them.
Half-time: Tottenham 0 - 0 Norwich
45': Substitution, Tottenham. Moussa Dembele replaces Sandro.
57': Substitution, Tottenham. Emmanuel Adebayor replaces Gylfi Sigurdsson.
69': Goal! Moussa Dembele takes a pass from Defoe, cuts left to make a yard of space, and fires a left-footed shot from the left side of goal into the bottom right corner. Tottenham 1 - 0 Norwich.
72': Substitution, Norwich. Steve Morison replaces Simeon Jackson.
81': Substitution, Tottenham. Tom Huddlestone replaces Jermain Defoe.
85': Goal! Robert Snodgrass with a low, left-footed strike into the bottom right corner. Snodgrass hit it first time off a header flicked on by Holt. Tottenham 1 - 1 Norwich.
86': Yellow card shown to Bale for arguing with the linesman over a goal kick decision.
88': Straight red show to Tom Huddlestone for a late sliding challenge, just 7 minutes after coming on.
Final: Tottenham 1 - 1 Norwich

Scoring Summary

Tottenham Norwich
Moussa Dembele (68') Robert Snodgrass (65')

Match Stats

Tottenham Norwich
15(5) Shots on Goal 12(4)
7 Fouls 11
4 Corner Kicks 2
4 Offsides 0
62% Time of Posession 38%
1 Yellow Cards 0
1 Red Cards 0
3 Saves 4
submitted by jspegele to soccer [link] [comments]

2012.01.11 19:46 jspegele Match Thread: Tottenham Hotspur v Everton

Match Info

Premier League 19:45 GMT / 14:45 EST, January 11, 2012 White Hart Lane, England Referee: Martin Atkinson Attendance: 36,132


Preview and Live Updates BBC Football Soccernet Sky Sports
Streams FirstRowSports Real-TV-Sport Sopcasts and Other Streams
Sub Reddits COYS Everton


  • Michael Dawson is likely to partner Younes Kaboul in the Spurs defence with Ledley King and William Gallas both out injured.
  • Scott Parker is set for a late fitness test but fellow midfielder Sandro is out with a calf problem.
  • Phil Jagielka, Tim Cahill, Leon Osman, Jack Rodwell and Tony Hibbert are all injury worries for Everton.
  • Seamus Coleman is another doubt after suffering a recurrence of a thigh injury in the FA Cup tie with Tamworth.

Match Preview

  • Everton manager David Moyes has only lost three of 15 league matches against teams managed by Harry Redknapp.
  • Spurs have beaten Everton just once in their last eight Premier League games - a 2-1 victory at White Hart Lane in February 2010.
  • Spurs have won 13 of their first 19 league games - the only time they won more was in 1960-61 (17) when they won the league.
  • Tottenham have scored in 18 consecutive Premier League games - their best record in the league era.
  • Harry Redknapp's side are unbeaten in eight home league games since August's 5-1 defeat by Manchester City.
  • They have kept seven clean sheets in the league this season - one less than they kept during the entire 2010-11 Premier League campaign.
  • Spurs have conceded 999 Premier League goals.
  • David Moyes is one short of his 150th Premier League victory as Everton manager. He will become the fourth manager to reach this milestone in the division after Sir Alex Ferguson (486), Arsene Wenger (337) and Harry Redknapp (220).
  • The Toffees have won more games away from home in the Premier League (four) than at Goodison (three) this season.
  • Everton have failed to win any of their nine league games against top-half clubs this season (two draws and seven defeats) - the worst record in the division.
  • Tim Howard is in line to make his 250th Premier League start.

Team Comparison

Team Stats Tottenham Everton
Matches Played 19 19
Table Position 3 11
Points 42 24
Goal Difference 16 -2
Goals for * 2.0 1.1
Goals against * 0.9 1.1
Last 5 W-D-W-D-W L-W-D-W-D
Last 5 home W-D-W-W-W L-W-D-L-W
Last 5 away D-W-L-W-W W-D-L-W-L
Team Leaders
Goals Emmanuel Adebayor 9 Leon Osman 3
Assists Emmanuel Adebayor 6 Royston Drenthe 5
Yellows Scott Parker 4 Leighton Baines 4
Reds Younes Kaboul 1 Jack Rodwell 1
* Goals per match - home matches for home club and away matches for away club 


Tottenham 24 Brad Friedel G 28 Kyle Walker D 04 Younes Kaboul D 20 Michael Dawson D (C) 32 Benoit Assou-Ekotto D 07 Aaron Lennon M └ 40 Steven Pienaar SUB 14 Luka Modric M 29 Jake Livermore M 03 Gareth Bale M 11 Rafael Van der Vaart M 10 Emmanuel Adebayor F └ 9 Roman Pavlyuchenko SUB
Substitutes: 23 Carlo Cudicini, 19 Sebastien Bassong, 25 Danny Rose, 40 Steven Pienaar, 21 Niko Kranjcar, 18 Jermain Defoe, 9 Roman Pavlyuchenko
Everton 24 Tim Howard G 18 Phil Neville D (C) 05 John Heitinga D 15 Sylvain Distin D └ 34 Shane Duffy SUB 03 Leighton Baines D 07 Diniyar Bilyaletdinov M 25 Marouane Fellaini M 09 Landon Donovan M 17 Tim Cahill M 28 Victor Anichebe F └ 10 Royston Drenthe SUB 08 Louis Saha F
Substitutes: 10 Royston Drenthe, 11 Denis Stracqualursi, 19 Magaye Gueye, 27 Apostolos Vellios, 34 Shane Duffy, 1 Ján Mucha , 14 James McFadden

Match Events

0': Kick-off!
35': Goal! Aaron Lennon with a left footed shot from the right side of the box to the bottom right corner. Tottenham 1 - 0 Everton.
45': Yellow card shown to Landon Donovan for a foul.
Half-time: Tottenham 1 - 0 Everton
59' Substitution, Everton. Shane Duffy replaces Sylvain Distin because of an injury.
63': Goal! Benoit Assou-Ekotto with a left footed screamer from 30 yards to the top right corner. Assisted by Rafael van der Vaart. Tottenham 2 - 0 Everton.
68': Substitution, Everton. Royston Drenthe replaces Victor Anichebe.
74': Yellow card shown to Aaron Lennon for a foul.
78': Substitution, Tottenham. Steven Pienaar replaces Aaron Lennon.
83': Yellow card is shown to Tim Cahill for a foul.
85': Yellow card shown to Marouane Fellaini.
87': Substitution, Tottenham. Roman Pavlyuchenko replaces Emmanuel Adebayor.
Final: Tottenham 2 - 0 Everton

Scoring Summary

Tottenham Everton
Aaron Lennon (35')
Benoit Assou-Ekotto (63')

Match Stats

Tottenham Everton
15(4) Shots on Goal 13(0)
6 Fouls 16
6 Corner Kicks 4
2 Offsides 0
62% Time of Posession 38%
1 Yellow Cards 3
0 Red Cards 0
0 Saves 2

League Table (Updated after match)

Team P W D L F A GD Pts
1 > Manchester City 20 15 3 2 56 16 40 48
2 > Manchester United 20 14 3 3 49 20 29 45
3 > Tottenham Hotspur 20 14 3 3 38 20 18 45
4 > Chelsea 20 11 4 5 39 25 14 37
5 > Arsenal 20 11 3 6 36 28 8 36
11 > Everton 20 7 3 10 20 24 -4 24
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2009.09.07 13:56 severedfragile Jermain Defoe 1 England Team 2: Why Heskey is still the man to partner Wayne Rooney

submitted by severedfragile to soccer [link] [comments]

Carta de despedida de Jermain Defoe a su amigo Bradley. TRAILER  Jermain Defoe  01 Dec 2019 Gimme the ball Defoe REACTION: Emotional Defoe reflects on winner Jermain Defoe - Topic - YouTube

Who is Jermain Defoe dating? Jermain Defoe girlfriend, wife

  1. Carta de despedida de Jermain Defoe a su amigo Bradley.
  2. TRAILER Jermain Defoe 01 Dec 2019
  3. Gimme the ball Defoe
  4. REACTION: Emotional Defoe reflects on winner
  5. Jermain Defoe - Topic - YouTube
  6. Pre-Sunderland: Jermain Defoe reflects on his AFC Bournemouth memories

Jermain Defoe on transfer request regret, picking Tottenham over Juventus & his best strike partner - Duration: 45:24. Sky Sports Football 95,985 views. 45:24. DAYS ARE LONG - SILENT PARTNER. ... La conmovedora historia de amistad entre Jermain Defoe y Bradley, el niño que murió de cáncer - Duration: 2:31. TUDN USA 62,357 views. Watch the full interview here: CLICK to subscribe for FREE and never miss another video: Subscribe to RangersTV ... Jermain Colin Defoe OBE is an English professional footballer who plays as a striker for Scottish Premiership club Rangers, on loan from AFC Bournemouth of t... Jermain Defoe on transfer request regret, picking Tottenham over Juventus & his best strike partner - Duration: 45:24. Sky Sports Football 93,336 views. 45:24. Jermain Defoe on transfer request regret, picking Tottenham over Juventus & his best strike partner - Duration: 45:24. Sky Sports Football 83,204 views. New; 45:24