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bicycling

2008.05.22 03:10 bicycling

Two wheels, or three, sometimes one, but never more than twenty. Interested in riding a bicycle? We welcome bicyclists of all skill levels including those who don't yet own a bike. Ask us your questions or meetup with other redditors in your area for local rides. Happy cycling!
[link]


2020.09.24 03:26 Langston1113 College Fuck Toys (pt 5): Celine

College Fuck Toys (pt 5): Celine
I posted a preview of Celine a while back but didn’t finish the actual story because I couldn’t locate her Eros ad anymore. Coincidentally, it had just been taken down, and Eros doesn't cache their ads.
THIS IS ABOUT CONTRASTS
It is not meant to be an attack on Celine in any way. I enjoyed her very much and wish I could get the later version of her because she only looks better. The contrast is between how some of the girls portray themselves on their ad vs. who or WHAT they are in person. This series is about college-aged escorts and earlier I made the distinction between the ones who were simply in that age bracket vs. the ones who were actual students.
At the time I had her, she was 19 or 20 years old. I was going to be in Ann Arbor for the day on business, so I thought I could stop in on a young something before driving back up north. I had found her ad the night before on Eros using the "College Girls" filter at the top of the page, and it captures just about everything I've been describing in this series of posts.
https://preview.redd.it/4x7nyy5quzo51.png?width=550&format=png&auto=webp&s=a6ebb15676668dd42ceef0728cc84bfbb8cef7fe
They all portray themselves as artistic, free-spirited, and sophisticated. But the rules of the game still apply - more so, in fact, for these college students looking to make extra money to cover school expenses. In person and using the right approach, they quickly turn into fuck toys.
My guess is that Celine was a party girl who was already hooking up with random guys and figured she might as well get paid for it. Her ad being on Eros meant she knew her worth and knew which clientele to target.
HOW SHE DESCRIBED HERSELF
Here’s what was posted on her original Eros ad:
Bonjour! You may call me Céline. My petite frame belies a stately presence; some might call me ethereal, even aloof, but when I hide my ethnically ambiguous features behind deep-chocolate tresses, I'm not being coy, but merely bashful. I have a lithe physicality; light on my feet, with supple and shapely curves, and a firmly rounded tail. Nothing excites me more than a sincere gentleman with class and discerning taste. My favorite thing in life is the mystery of it's infinite possibilities. I've been a muse, a mistress, a mosaic of exhilarating memories...What I desire to be is a blank canvas on which you paint your fantasy. Allow yourself the pleasure of completing a masterpiece. My private art lessons will open new vistas of experience waiting to be discovered. After all the creative escape you're seeking is found within the simple acceptance of it's opportunity. Time is truly the most valuable thing a man can spend, so don't allow another moment to come between us.
I also found this in another ad:
Well dressed, well mannered, well spoken, and well traveled. I love to laugh and can keep up with an athletic conversation. An INTP with an IQ of nearly 130 and a dry sense of humor. Barely 20*, but carry myself with a maturity beyond my years. My unique Eurasian background lends to my racially ambiguous appearance. Behind closed doors I have a naughty coy demeanor, borderline kittenish. I pair complementary with a slightly more dominant partner. Elegant, vibrant, with an unbeatable eagerness to please. I could fulfill your true trophy girlfriend fantasy. My non-negotiable investments are as stated...*
SHE POSTED HER IQ ON HER AD!?! 🤣🤣🤣
This is EXACTLY what I mean. They go out of their way to let you know how intelligent and sophisticated they are, yet are down for whatever. They will travel 45 min to the burbs in order to be used by a older gent with all sorts of kinks. Remember Chanel? I'm just saying - "Contrasts."
She is definitely a beautiful girl.
Here's "sophomore Celine" around the time of our encounter:

https://preview.redd.it/uz2flkisuzo51.png?width=864&format=png&auto=webp&s=91297923d900c1a7cb377736064d5ffc35efc293

And here's the "veteran Celine" more recently:
https://preview.redd.it/i18m34vtuzo51.png?width=864&format=png&auto=webp&s=862ce50326140d1776e15e86d5000d5fa03fc2d6
Her new rates:
https://preview.redd.it/gu1u46io40p51.jpg?width=939&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7fede58b112b3b648ed0563ed6fcade186fc54cb
HOW WAS SHE A “FUCK TOY?”
In the other installments, I defined these as naive girls who didn’t know their monetary value and had given themselves over to be fucked, usually by older men and however it pleased him, sometimes surrendering more of themselves than they had planned or were initially comfortable with.
Her description of herself was exaggerated, which isn't a shock. Although she was composed, her 20-year-old self still came through. She reminded me a lot of Sofia back in New York whose own ad called for “men over 40.” These girls try too hard. After all that lofty talk, she came off as pedestrian over text.
Yes, the advertising definitely works. Because she was on Eros and had all that lofty content, not on Escortbabylon doing $80 short-sessions, I approached her differently and treated her more daintily, at least initially.
What was true is that she liked to get fucked.
MY REVIEW
Screening: She asked me for a selfie long after we had booked the encounter, as I was headed to her. She probably has a more extensive screening process now.
Arrival and intro: She was at an apartment. I couldn’t figure out if it was off-campus student housing or if it was her own place which she shared roommates; nobody else was there. It was most likely the same place as in the non-glamorous ad pics. We chatted for about 15 min. about art and stuff, just to get comfortable, but she’s done this quite a lot and knew how unwind. Off to the bedroom which was quite unglamorous (yes, it's a word Mr. Spell-checker) and only the bare essentials. She had a twin bed.
Great kisser: This was very impressive. I’m talking Hollywood rom-com style passionate kissing - grabbing your hair, neck, etc. Not many young escorts kiss well. Probably only her and Ava were young escorts who were great kissers.
Round 1: I ran the gamut of positions and my typical routine. DATY (after taking a tour of her body from north to south), 69 + BBBJ (delicious; nothing like that college girl bod), an finally Doggystyle (she put the condom on me while we were still in 69 then we seamlessly transitioned to it). No hair-pulling or any of that. But she began responding to the more aggressive sex. I erupted and we took a break.
[Intermission]: This isn't meant as a big complaint but a detail that set the tone for what came next. She left the room to use the bathroom and I was there by myself for several minutes. My concern was that I wouldn't get a second finish which she had promised earlier. When she came back, she offered me some weed - her latest ad says she's a non-smoker - which I politely declined. To my relief, we were back at it again to finish out my hour, and THIS is when she became a fuck toy.
Round 2: We began with missionary and lots of great kissing. After switching to doggystyle, I went back to where we left off with the more aggressive pace and once again I noticed her responding. I was actually TRYING my best to bust another load. I was conscious of the time so I pounded away vigorously, but nothing going. I eventually noticed that she had essentially just conceded to being a piece of meat. And this got me aroused.
THERE GOES "MISS IQ SCORE OF 130."
When I’m pounding one of my ultra-GFEs, it’s usually a “WE are fucking” type of thing. But with these fuck toys, it’s clearly a “ME fucking them” or “she is GETTING FUCKED” type of situation. What made Celine different that night is there was a hint that she took pleasure in it, or was used to it – from some clients but not most. It’s because she was taken off-guard somewhat but then adjusted to it. That’s not much of a surprise, except when you consider that contrast once again. There goes “Miss IQ score of 130.”
What I recall best about this encounter is the switching back and forth between doggy and missionary in a mad rush. And now came the hair-pulling. I was pumping her like a machine trying to beat the clock. But there was no protest from her about me having gone past the time.
What a difference it is when go from being clock-watching "sex providers" to mutual fuck-partners and then to being submitted and given over to you. When she laid down flat on her chest, face-down/ass-up, hands sprawled forward and face hidden under her disheveled hair, it was clear that she was in the zone. "PLAT, PLAT, PLAT, PLAT!!!" - the sound of blasting those ass cheeks.
I finally blew my load in the bag and was left huffing and puffing. Pleasurable, yes, very much so; but also a relief.
CONCLUSION
Celine is an absolutely gorgeous girl! She looks even better since my encounter and I almost didn't recognize her if not for the text history, because she uses the same number. I can't say enough about that lovely college-aged body. And I'm glad that she turned into a fuck toy near the end of our encounter.
But I must admit that at the time, I wasn't all that excited about her as an option and didn't contact her again. She didn’t compare to the other options I had in value, even at $400/hr.
  • Nevaeh was also 45 min away but offered identical features at $130/hr.
  • Danica was $160/hr for BBFS at my place, and that’s after she had raised her rate.
  • NYC regulars. Most importantly, those days I was traveling back to NYC every 2 weeks and getting the chance to meet up with my ultra-GFE friends for full-blown overnight bookings with BBFS included at basically the same rate.
I love re-living these adventures! Today, if the opportunity presented itself, I would definitely repeat with Celine. But I can't seem to find a current ad for her anywhere. Maybe she made her money and got out of the game.
submitted by Langston1113 to havingfunhobbying [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 20:00 TenspeedGV [OT] Spotlight: JohnGarrigan

Writers Spotlight

This week's spotlight writer is JohnGarrigan
Hello folks! I know it’s been a couple of weeks since the last Spotlight. Since it was so rudely stolen from me, I had to go wrestle for control of it. As you can see, I have emerged victorious. On to the post!
u/JohnGarrigan has been writin for us for a while now. I have deeply enjoyed watching his writing progress steadily from “this is pretty good” to “wow, this is moving and very well done, sir.” His technical understanding of writing has grown and grown, and I very much look forward to reading what he comes up with next. If you want to see what I mean, check out his sub, JohnGarrigan.
Aside from that, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know him. He’s an active participant in the community, both on the sub and on our Discord server. He manages to find the time to join our Wednesday campfire every week, and his contributions are highly valued.
Congratulations, JohnGarrigan!
Spotlight relies on your nominations. If you see a writer who has been around the sub for a while, who has at least six (or more!) high quality submissions, and who hasn't been given the Spotlight before, send us a modmail and let us know!
Here are some of JohnGarrigan’s most upvoted stories of all time:
[WP] The great zombie outbreak started 2 years ago. You now find yourself trapped in a corner by a zombie, when you do the unthinkable and bite it first. It suddenly drops to the floor, grows it’s skin back and asks what’s going on.
[WP] About three years ago, your sister fell off the roof and stopped in mid-air. She was the first known victim of the Pause. As of today, almost 97 percent of the world’s population is Paused.
[WP] A god is observing a contest of strength between mortals, when he sees a mortal bragging about his "strength that rivals any god". The god decides to challenge him, disguised as a mortal. Neither realizes that their opponent is also a god. Things get out of hand.
[WP] You're homeless, sleeping on the street in NYC. You have no family, no friends, and no where to go. After 5 years living like this, a man in a fancy black suit walks by where you're begging and hands you a blank check. Then he says "Knock yourself out, kid."
[WP] You are a nice person, but your superpower is that you instinctively know exactly what to say to someone to crush them. You're very effective in throwing supervillains off their game, but your fellow heroes always feel really uncomfortable watching you work.

To view the writers spotlit previously, visit our archives!

Spotlight Archive - To highlight the lesser known writers.
Hall of Fame - Our occasional spotlight of a selected "Reddit-Famous" WP contributor.
Come join us in our chatroom. We have members from all around the world and who have all kinds of schedules, so there’s usually someone awake to talk to. We also have scheduled readings, oration critiques, spur-of-the-moment story time, or even just random hangouts over voice chat. Come and chat with us!
Are you a longtime member of our sub and want to take a more active role in this community? Would you like to help us to continue growing and building? Believe in our dream of helping new or experienced writers improve their craft? Apply now to join the WritingPrompts moderator team!
submitted by TenspeedGV to WritingPrompts [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 17:57 hellosunshine217 I am 32 years old, live in Brooklyn, and make $62,400 working in Education Policy

Assets and Debt:
Retirement Balance: $17,0923.26. This is a mix of a Roth IRA ($11,009.33) which is partly from inheritance I received from an uncle and partly from my own contributions. The other $4,605 is from a job many years ago and then my current retirement contributions which I just started up in June which are the rest (~2,300). This retirement account is especially low as I lived outside of the country for 5 years and was not contributing at all.
**Equity:**N/A
**Savings account balance: ~**$12,200. This is a mix of saving from birthday money, 10% of my weekly paycheck and my side hustles. Additionally, my mother received some inheritance money from her uncle which she split among my 3 siblings and I. I have about $3K left over that is invested which is part of my savings.
Checking account balance: ~$1,698. All my paychecks end up here and I transfer my money from there to different accounts. This is much higher as it’s my rent paycheck which doesn’t come out until next month.
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): $0. I pay off my cards monthly.
Student loan debt (for what degree): $0. A mix of scholarship and my parents paid for my undergraduate degree (of which I am forever grateful). I paid for my Master’s degree and living expenses with the rest of the inheritance and my parents paid for half of my Masters (Again, so thankful, and aware of what a privilege this is.) I cannot recommend going abroad enough for a Master’s as it is so much cheaper, even with living costs (I was living in London).
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I’ve been working in education policy for almost 2 years now. My income progression throughout my career has been a bit wonky. I started out in fundraising making $45K a year after I graduated college (spent that year after college as an au pair in Switzerland). I got sick of fundraising and moved to asia to teach English for 3.5 years making the equivalent of $16-17K/year which was more than enough to live on and travel. After 3.5 years there I went back to grad school for education and international development in London. I then moved back to NYC in January of last year and started my current job as a contractor first making $30/hour (see last year’s post around this time here) and then became a full-time employee in November making what I make now. I’m looking to move up but we are in a hiring freeze and the job market is not great with what I want to really do, so here I stay!
Main Job Monthly Take Home: This works out to about $2856/month after taxes, retirement contribution and union dues. Healthcare is free.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: I have 2 side gigs, babysitting and trivia hosting. Both are currently on hold due to COVID. As my sister is one of my babysitting families it might pick up a bit this fall but mostly this will stay around zero until I am able to start up again as no one is going out!
Section Three: Expenses
Rent: $1,297/month for one bedroom in a 4 bedroom house. I love my apartment dearly as it is so close to everything even though I can’t really take advantage these days.
Retirement contribution: $578/month pre tax goes into TDA plan and pension account as I work for the government. I don’t want to work here forever but just in case I do, I’m paying in.
Savings contribution: Normally it is 10% of my paycheck. This has varied wildly because of COVID. I lived with my parents for a few of the summer months and was able to save quite a bit, so now that I’m back living by myself we shall see where this ends up! As my side gigs are not on, I’m not really sure how much I will save.
Investment contribution: I just started investing again- $1000 last week- but this is pretty ad hoc.
Debt payments: $0
Donations: currently: $10 a month each to BLM, NY Foundling, The Innocence Project, and BRAC USA and ad hoc donations to friends’ fundraisers.
Electric/gas: This varies from month to month but usually about $30
Wifi: $12.50/month
Cellphone: $45/month paid to my parents.
**Metrocard:**$127/month currently on hold.
**Amazon Prime/Netflix/HULU/NYTimes:**$0 thank you brothers, and parents
HBOMAX: $6/month (I split this with a friend)
Spotify: $10.99/month
AMC A-List: $23.95/month on hold right now
Gym membership: $78/month just started back up- unsure if I will continue as I really only used the pool and it’s not open yet.
Physical Therapist: $900/10 sessions so about every 2 months or so. I had back surgery last year after a severely herniated disc which caused foot drop. I was walking pretty normally however when I got COVID I was in bed for a month causing some regression. Because of that I’m back in PT to see if I can get it back to where it was. I was able to start running again which is amazing and something I never thought I would be able to do, but want to make sure I’m doing it right so PT it is! To keep my foot in shape I try to take daily walks of at least 3 miles as it helps my back and my foot immensely when I do.
Caveat: For this diary, I don’t say that I wear my mask, but every time I go outside, I am wearing my mask and wash my hands when I get home as well as use hand sanitizer. NYC is pretty open right now and I’m happy to do things outside! I’m trying to limit going inside stores/subway.
Day 1 (Monday): $0
8AM: After snoozing the alarm a few times, I check emails/Instagram/texts that came in overnight. I take a shower, and get ready before heading downstairs for breakfast.
8:45AM: I make scrambled eggs, mango, and coffee for breakfast before pulling out my laptop to start work at 9AM.
1:45PM I take a lunch break after a morning full of calls and meetings. I make a turkey and cheese sandwich with carrots, a pickle, a peach, and a few turbinado sugar and salted almonds from TJs. I get interrupted with a work call but add an extra few minutes to my lunch break and make a phone call to my landlord to re-sign my lease and bring up the issue of our broken microwave. She’s not too pleased but I tried to fix it there just wasn’t anything else we could do.
5:10PM I wrap up work for the day and head out for a walk while listening to an audiobook (Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng). When I get back I drop my stuff upstairs and head down to sign my lease for my landlord who lives on the floor below us. She tells me she’s ordered a new microwave and completely trusts that we tried everything.
7:15PM I make a dinner of leftover chicken, cauliflower gnocchi, broccoli, and spinach (one-pot dinner for the win!). I have a peanut butter ice cream mochi for dessert and chat with the roommates for a bit.
8:15PM I head up to my bedroom and watch the first few episodes of The Sopranos. I’ve never seen it but my sister-in-law keeps telling me to watch it and as I’m very uninspired by any tv recently (Taking any and all recommendations!), I decide to give it a try.
10PM early lights out as I have to be up early for PT tomorrow.
Day 2 (Monday): $27.39
6:30AM: alarm goes off and I can’t snooze today. I get up, brush my teeth, wash my face, and put on some workout clothes.
6:45AM: I’m out the door for the 3 mile walk to the PT.
8:45AM: PT is done and I walk back home. Once home I log on for work and make breakfast of eggs, strawberries, and coffee.
1PM: I take a break for lunch and head to the post office to mail 2 birthday cards ($2.40). When I get back I make the same lunch as yesterday and order a yoga mat on Amazon that I’ve been needing for awhile so I can do at home workouts again ($27.39)!
5PM: Finish off work for the day and look around the interwebs for new books to add to my library hold list. I throw in a load of laundry and hang up some of the art that’s been sitting on my floor for months. A little uneven but it will work for now!
**7:20PM:**I make a quick dinner of a bean and cheese quesadilla with some kale on the side and a peanut butter mochi for dessert. My roommates and I chat about the state of the world and what’s to come.
9PM: I bounce upstairs for bed and while scrolling through the interwebs finally pull the trigger on Book of the Month Club. I used to get Ipsy monthly but I’m not really wearing makeup right now and so have canceled it but I do love to receive mail! I am usually a voracious reader, but since the pandemic I have been unable to focus. I’m hoping that this will motivate me ($10.88).
11PM: After watching a few episodes of Love on the Spectrum, I get ready for bed and it’s lights out!
Day 3 (Wednesday):$0
8AM: Wake up, check texts/social/news and roll out of bed to take a shower, and put on some clothes. I head downstairs and get together my usual breakfast.
9AM: Log on to work and sort through emails before a bunch of meetings and calls start.
1PM: I pull together lunch while I’m in a meeting of soup, bread, a peach and chocolate covered almonds (these almonds are one of my many vices to get through the day).
2:30PM: Take a quick break before my next meeting and do some NYT Crossword.
**5PM:**Work finished! I need a break from the screens so I put on my headphones and take my walk after putting some chicken in a marinade.
7:30PM: I get back from my walk (5 miles!) and make a salad for dinner with green beans, chicken, tomatoes, and shredded cheese with balsamic and a tortilla on the side. I chit chat with the roommates for a bit before wrapping up the leftovers and cleaning up the kitchen.
9:30 PM: I head up to get ready for bed and watch an episode of Dirty Money (Apparently I can’t watch the same show two days in a row).
10:30PM: Lights out!
Day 4 (Thursday):($19.54)
8AM: Wake up and have the same routine. I get a breakfast together of eggs, strawberries and coffee.
9AM: Log on for the day and start a full day of meetings and phone calls.
1:30PM After a very busy morning with the phone glued to my ear (first day of school changes!) I take a quick break for soup, bread, and a peach before hopping back in for more phone calls for the day.
5PM: Work day over! I log onto the Brooklyn Botanical Garden website and reserve 2 tickets for this weekend for me and a friend and she Venmos me her half I then head out on a walk (another 5 miles) to clear my head from the day. ($19.54)
7:30PM I make a weird dinner of kale, leftover refried beans, and TJs Butternut squash mac and cheese (first time trying and meh). I have a couple of mint milanos for dessert and talk with the roommates about the day.
9PM: I head up to my room and do some stretching for my foot and clean up a little before settling down with some Dirty Money episodes.
11PM: lights out!
Day 5 (Friday): $70
6:45AM: Alarm goes off for PT but I just cannot get out of bed. I snooze for 15 minutes and then take a quick body shower and decide it’s too late to walk so take the subway for the first time since March. I have to reload my metrocard ($20) for the first time and the whole thing feels very weird. The subway at least feels clean and there are very few people on it.
7:30AM I overestimated how long in between subways and arrive SUPER early to PT. I walk around the blocks for 15 minutes before heading in.
8:30AM: PT done! My foot is super sore as we are working on range of motion and strengthening of my ankle and it hurts so good. I get back on the subway to get home before my meeting. On the way back I grab a starbucks iced coffee and have to reload my card ($25). After all it’s FRIDAY! And I’m all about the pandemic “treat yo self” trend.
1:30PM: I take the quickest break I can as I have been pulled onto 3 different calling projects today and have a list a mile long of programs I need to get in touch with about various things for opening. I have leftover mac and cheese with chicken and green beans which I shovel in before making more calls.
6:30PM Work is finally over. My brain hurts from all of the phone calls. While some programs were very nice, others were much more challenging, which I totally understand- the stress of opening a school in the midst of a pandemic is a special kind of stress and frustration. I listen as much as I can, knowing programs mostly just want someone to complain to and try to answer their questions with guidance we have been given but it’s not always taken well (fair, there are still a lot of questions!).
7PM: My sister picks me up and we go pick up pizza before heading back to her house for dinner and a movie. I hang out with my niece for a bit before dinner. In the midst of this we find out RBG has died and the shock, panic and fright of it all sets in. Trying to explain to my niece why this is so sad and so important in words she can understand is hard when we’re trying to process it, but she knows something bad has happened.
8:30PM: We put my niece to bed and I read some stories to her. Mass amounts of texts are coming through my group chats as we try to understand how F***** our country is.
9:30PM: My sister, brother-in-law and I opt for a comedy movie for a lift and end up with Heartburn (Meryl Streep, Jack Nicholson). Completely random and I had never seen it, but mildly enjoyable!
11PM: I walk home (someone walks next to me and strikes up a conversation for most of the way, totally random, but I wasn’t sure what to do!). When I get back I get ready for bed and read Reddit for a while and venmo my sister ($25) for the pizza and wine before lights out at 12:30.
Day 6 (Saturday):$202.56
9AM: No alarm! I hang out in bed for a bit before getting up to shower and wash my hair. I get ready and then make breakfast of eggs, bagel with cream cheese, and iced coffee.
10AM: I finish breakfast and clean up the kitchen doing a bit of a deeper clean on the oven and sweep the floors. I check my fridge and freezer stocks.
10:30AM: I head to TJs and buy eggs, milk, iced coffee mix, salad, a sweet potato, ground turkey, mango, peanut butter, a few snacky things, frozen broccoli, cheese, almonds, dried apricots, turkey, cream cheese, flowers, and a few other things I can’t remember ($103.15). I lug it back home to unload before going back out to Target to get Diet Cokes, toothpaste, plastic wrap, and Clorox wipes ($19.41).
12:30PM: Back home I unload everything and take a break to chill before getting ready to go to the Botanical gardens. I chat with my roommate who is headed to Ikea to pick up a bunch of stuff for her room. I ask her to look for a specific bed frame and if she finds it to get it and I will Venmo (she did not find it- shelves were bare of a lot of things!). I’ve been looking for one for months (my current bed is on um wheels) and I’m ready to pull the trigger now but the pandemic seems to disagree.
2PM: I meet up with my friend K for a tour of the botanical garden. After we head to a Mexican place I’ve been wanting to try and proceed to eat our faces off with queso fundido, guac and chips, and tacos of various sorts along with 3 margaritas each. We split the check and the total comes to $80 each including tip. We take our last margarita to go and walk back towards my place to feel less full. It doesn’t work as we are still drinking, but at least we tried!
6PM I wait for my friend to get her uber and then come into the house to crawl into bed and watch Netflix for the rest of the night. Day drinking is the best because you can still sleep early and not feel guilty!
10PM: I play Bumble for a bit while watching Luther and then it’s lights out!
Day 7: $0
9AM: I hang out in bed til 9:30 before taking a shower and making a breakfast of eggs, tortilla and mango with iced coffee. My sister texts that they are ready to go soon to an orchard and a walk so I get dressed and then play the waiting game until they’re ready.
11AM: We stop for coffee and I get a grande Iced coffee but use my Starbucks card. We then stop to pick up Italian subs and sister pays (woot!). We then get on the road to hit up an orchard.
1PM: We found out they weren’t doing apple picking in the orchard but there are a few animals for my niece and some pumpkins and cider donuts. We picnic outside with the donuts and subs and play in the grass for a bit before packing up for a hike. We get donuts, a couple of baby pumpkins, and a bunch of apples, brother-in-law pays which is nice!
3PM: We stop by a local nature park and take a short walk. My niece starts complaining so we wrap up the walk quicker than we want to. On the way home, my sister and brother-in-law stop in Wegmans to get their own groceries so my niece and I wait in the car to avoid further people.
5:30PM: Back home, I walk back to my house and come inside to hang out for a bit and watch TV. I do the NYT crossword for fun (autocorrect on).
7:30PM: I head downstairs and make a turkey and cheese wrap for dinner and marinate some chicken for tomorrow.
9:30PM: I watch Luther a few episodes of Luther and play Bumble before it's lights out at 11!
Weekly Totals:
Food/Drink: $252.56
Home/Health: $27.39
Fun/ Entertainment: $30.42
Clothes/beauty: $0
Transportation: $20
Other: $0
Reflection: This was a higher spend week for me in terms of food. I haven’t been out to eat/drink in ages and usually just get one takeout a week during pandemic times so this was definitely a splurge. My grocery bill was also higher because I stocked up on some pantry items that had just run out (usually my bill is around $70). I am also trying to treat myself when I want because it helps my mental health!
submitted by hellosunshine217 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 13:39 Kodiologist I found Ted Haggard on Omegle.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!
Stranger: hey m
You: Howdy!
Stranger: hows it going!
You: It's pretty good. I'm tired, but I'm holding it together.
You: How are you?
Stranger: not so bad!
Stranger: where u from?
You: New York City, born and raised.
You: How about you?
Stranger: canada!
You: Oh, which part?
Stranger: toronto :)
You: That's cool. I've heard it's a nice city. I like cities.
Stranger: u must to live in nyc!!
You: Yep, it's in my blood.
Stranger: i like it
Stranger: what are you upto this fine evening my dear
You: I was looking at this funny edit on Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Robin_Hood%27s_Death&diff=971421009&oldid=961087922
You: And mucking about on CSS.
Stranger: whats css?
You: Cascading Style Sheets. It's a specialized computer language for specifying the appearence of web pages.
Stranger: very interesting!!!
Stranger: m or f?
You: I can be whatever you want me to be. ;)
Stranger: can you really?!
You: Sure, why not?
Stranger: okay we can play like that
Stranger: can you bear my child?
You: Only quite painfully.
You: It would have to fit through my massive dick.
Stranger: well the bigger the better ;)
Stranger: how else can you serve me?;)
You: I'm pretty handy at statistics.
Stranger: can you sit on my rock hard cock?
You: Depends, how hard is rock-hard?
You: Like, pumice? Or granite?
Stranger: marble
You: Classy.
Stranger: hehe
Stranger: ill take that as a flaming yes
Stranger: do you want my snapchat?
You: Nah, I don't actually sext.
Stranger: okay fair
Stranger: what do u do
You: Like, what is my job? Or what is my sex life?
Stranger: are you bi?
You: Actually, yes.
Stranger: i can tell
You: I've never really bothered with the closet.
Stranger: nor have i
Stranger: im married tbh
You: To a man or a woman?
Stranger: woman
You: Is it, like, an open relationship?
Stranger: not really im just frickin naughty
You: You don't think your wife's feelings would be hurt if she found that you Snapchat with random Omegle dudes?
Stranger: quite
You: But you just don't care?
Stranger: idk im really horny
Stranger: it’s complicated
You: They say it helps to fap on it. Masturbation can help alleviate the immediate feeling of sexual desire and give you a moment to think about what you really want.
Stranger: it’s just sin man. call it what it is
You: I'm not religious. I don't believe in sin. I believe that people do wrong even when they're perfectly capable of doing right, though.
Stranger: until you meet your creator, that may be fine. But trust me His path is far better than you could believe
Stranger: have a good night man. God loves ya
You: You say that, but somehow, the fact that you're trying to sext with random dudes on Omegle behind your wife's back makes me think you think otherwise.
Stranger: its a joke
Stranger: im getting peoples reactions dude
You: Haha, yeah, that was totally a joke! What a wacky jape!
You: Oh for God's sake, I'm not that dumb.
You: Look, you don't have to be honest with me, a random stranger.
You: But be honest with yourself.
Stranger: hahahaha truuuust me bro
Stranger: you are that dumb
Stranger: peace and love
Stranger has disconnected.
submitted by Kodiologist to ploungeafterdark [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 23:31 BlondeSenpai 25 [M4F] NYC/East Coast - Relaxing Sunday Talks

Hello, I'm a 25 year old guy living in NYC looking for someone to talk to and develop into something more if we mesh together. I like to have fun conversations about random stuff. I'm a pretty relaxed person and work fulltime in a tech career. For physical looks, I'm 6 feet tall, around 170lbs, wear glasses and have dark blonde hair. I can send a pic of myself through DMs.
In my free time I like doing all kinds of things such as cooking, playing board/video games, learning about tech, exercising, traveling, reading books/manga and eating pizza. A great slice of pizza with a good crust can make the day great. I learned how to cook in college and have been doing it ever since. Light exercising helps in making sure that I don't overload on food especially since there is so much good food in the city! Trying new food and cuisine is pretty fun and would love for someone to come try all of the great food the city has to offer once everything calms down.I do a bit more gaming nowadays since there is more time to spend at home. Would also love to swap some memes too! There are too many good ones out there and need to see more of them.

Feel free to send me a message or chat, have a great Sunday!
submitted by BlondeSenpai to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 19:45 BelowTheRidge What do I make of this? Looking for godly advice/thoughts.

Here's the super-long backstory of my very interesting situation, for anyone curious:
Back in May 2018 I went on a date with this girl in NYC. We had matched on the dating app Coffee Meets Bagel, which shows you one potential match per day. Thus, actually matching with someone on that app—for me at least—is kind of a rare occurrence, and to this day she's the only girl from that particular app who I've actually gone on a date with. (That being said, I don't even always check the app, so maybe I'd have more luck if I did.)
Anyways, I was 25 at the time; she was 20. We met for lunch at a Mexican place near where I lived. It was a fun date; we got along well and talked a lot. I had texted her sometime after the date telling her I had a nice time; she replied a few hours later, saying that she had a nice time too but that she had been thinking about it and she thought it wouldn't be wise for her to pursue anything—since she was soon leaving NY for a long summer job or something, and she wasn't sure she'd be around longterm anyways. And that she had a lot going on and felt she wasn't in the right place for a relationship.
So that kind of sucked, but whatever; I appreciated her being up front with me. In the back of my mind I thought "This girl probably just doesn't like me; the excuse is probably something she just came up with." But I looked her up online some months later and sure enough, not only had she left the state for the summer thing she mentioned; soon after, but she had somehow landed a piano gig on a cruise ship. (Btw, she's a musician; so am I. Also a Christian.)
Back in March, I moved back home to FL to stay with my family, due to the pandemic and high rent. Well, last week I opened CMB. And... she was my daily pick, here in the same city as me. Of all the people, and of all the places she could be. I couldn't believe it! Not to mention I don't even check the app daily, so it seemed like a one-in-a-million chance. I swiped right on her, and sent her a message along the lines of "Oh my gosh. We went on a date up in NYC," and asked her how she's been and whatnot. She matched/responded, and she couldn't believe it either. Said she had dropped out of college and spent the last two years working on the cruise ship, and just stopped right before COVID. And that her family lives an hour-and-a-half away, but her dad has another place near me where she stays sometimes.
We chatted back and forth and I ended up asking her if she'd be interested in going out again sometime—told her that I didn't know if before was due to her not being interested in me period, or if it was just the fact that she was moving away. She mentioned the idea of us doing a FaceTime date sometime, and said that she's got a lot of stuff going on in her life and a lot she's dealing with and that if she got into anything romantic it'd be slow, but that she was definitely interested in getting to know me better and that it would be possible this time around since there's no time stamp like last time... And she said about how wild it was, that we reconnected like this. According to her, she had actually just re-downloaded the app the night before, and woke up the next morning to see that I was her first pic! Crazy.
So I was obviously thrilled to hear that, and was totally fine with the idea of taking things exceptionally slow. We chatted some more that day about faith, although she disappeared for a few hours randomly (which made me nervous, lol). Didn't hear anything the next morning; figured I'd just wait for her to message back. (I have anxiety/OCD so this stuff is always tough for me, lol.) As time went on, I was worried I had turned her off, or that she didn't really want to talk to me or something. But then I kept reminding myself that she's probably just busy, or forgot, or something. Because again, I know I have a tendency to assume the worst even when it's not.
Then that afternoon a notification preview showed up on my phone—it was her, and the first few lines that my phone showed, showed that she was agreeing with what I had said last night and was talking more about the topic we had been discussing (church and faith). So I breathed a sigh of relief, lol. But I didn't want to open it and respond because I didn't want to appear desperate or something; figured I'd let it sit a little while. I heard a couple more alert tones from my phone—2 more messages from her! So I was excited to read and respond later. After a bit, I decided I'd at least read what she had sent... The first couple longish messages were relating to the conversation we had been having before (so it did seem she was enjoying the convo, at least). But then she sent this, too:
"It is really nice to reconnect with you!
It is crazy that the app just popped you up. And I have to say thank you again for the Godly encouragement. This has been a really lovely chat that I am enjoying, but I want to be upfront with how I'm feeling today. I redownloaded the app to gauge if I was ready to put myself out there again and this morning it's just clear to me that I'm not. Again, this has been a truly delightful conversation and reconnection. But it's clear to me that my head and heart are all over the place in my life, and I need to stay focused on my own healing journey.
I'm bummed but it still feels like too much for me right now to pursue new relationships. I want to be honest because it's so evident that you're a man with a good heart, and I appreciate that.
So for now, I think I am going to say au revoir and give you all my best wishes as we all navigate a truly crazy time ❤️ thank you for this delightful reconnection. I hope that we are both making music so soon!"
So, that was a major bummer for me. :/ I said I understood and wished her the best. Of course, my first thought was, "This is just like a couple years ago; she must just not like me." But I spoke to my therapist about it, and she said that rather than assume it's something wrong with me or that I did/said something wrong, I should take what this girl said at face value rather than try and read between the lines too much for something that's not there—and that she's clearly got a lot going on in her life.
After all, if she just wasn't interested she could have deleted the chat/blocked me/said she just wasn't interested, etc. But she proposed the FaceTime date idea, she said she was def interested in getting to know me better, and she said that she had just re-downloaded the app and that I was her first person. So idk. Part of me really wonders if this was a divine thing from God; it just seems too weird to be a coincidence. I mean, what are the chances of us matching again on the app in another state two years later?! So maybe if it's meant to be, things will work out down the road. But I'm having a tough time.
I forgot to mention, but her profile said she's "never been in love." So it's possible she's just scared of relationships, in general? Idk. Last night—a week after our last exchange—I sent her a message just expressing interest in a friendship (since we both just moved to the state and I could use a friend), or meeting casually sometime/taking things very slow. I said no pressure, and that I understand if she's not interested.
I searched her name on my computer and our old iMessage texting exchange from two years ago popped up; obviously I don't want to come off as a creep, but my therapist suggested I first send that message which I sent last night in the app—and then if I don't hear anything, wait a few weeks and shoot her a text to her number. And then leave it at that. (Btw, the app is about to close our conversation tomorrow. Not sure if this girl deleted the app from her phone but her account still exists—or if she is lying and talking to other guys—but somehow or another I'm still able to view our chat for now.)
My therapist (a Christian) also suggested that maybe God is even deliberately withholding this relationship for now, because I've been changing my life a lot recently and working on improving my relationship with him—and that maybe he doesn't want me to get distracted by this girl? Who knows, it's possible. I'm a bit of a "Prodigal Son" who has "come home" this year, and these days I'm praying and reading my Bible daily. So I would definitely hate to somehow undermine the progress I've been making, on the God-front.
But what can I say: I'm really bummed by this, because it just seemed to be such a crazy thing. Almost like a sign from God; I really wondered if maybe she might be "the one." And I was so happy that she really seemed interested, too. So for it to seem so hopeful, and then one day later have the hopes dashed by her, was kind of an emotional rollercoaster. Oh well. I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts/advice on this, if you're still reading. Lol
Tldr: Matched in FL on a dating app with a Christian girl who I had matched with/went on a date with two years ago in NYC. Absolutely crazy coincidence—if that's what it was. Furthermore, she claimed she had just re-downloaded the app the night before, and woke up to see that of all people, I was her first pick! (The app only shows you one person a day.) She seemed excited to try things again with me (since the reason she said things couldn't work out back in NY was due to her not feeling like she was in the right place for a relationship, and that she was going to be leaving the state soon for the whole summer). One day later, she changed her mind and said she... doesn't feel like she's in the right place for a relationship. :/ I'm bummed.
submitted by BelowTheRidge to TrueChristian [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 18:53 Meda18Sepl G-ay Cow-boy S-ex Tumblr

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https://preview.redd.it/lv2y64o2sxn51.jpg?width=311&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d96197333ec420aab9069335c28136be847d5df
submitted by Meda18Sepl to u/Meda18Sepl [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 03:15 2nd-account-2 29 [M4F] US / Online - This week sucks and hopefully you do too

Alright now that you’ve clicked here to roll your eyes thinking this is going to be some random FWB type post, roll ‘em back to normal for me and continue reading.
I am an Australian guy who moved to NYC in October last year. I possibly picked the worst time in recent years to move and COVID has made everything... well, suck to be frank.
Moved over here because I’ve wanted to work abroad for a few years now and this crazy thing happened; I started getting serious about that and looking into it and it actually happened. Who’d have thought?
I just want people to chat to of an evening who are happy to chill out and talk about random stuff. The lockdown loneliness is real when you live alone. Want to tell me how much you dislike [political guy]? Let’s do that. Share your playlist? Hell yeah let’s do that. Start a discussion about some random thread you saw on reddit? I’m in. Send dumb selfies of ourselves? Count me in!
Ideally you’ll be a little left leaning because it’s just easier, ambitious, honest, have a killer sense of humour with a sprinkle of sarcasm and anything else is just a bonus!
I play sports normally and try to keep fit when we’re allowed. In lockdown I’ve been getting back into video games (PC), trying to learn new things and working from home.
Send a chat my way with your favourite season (mine is winter) if you’ve come this far and want to chat. I’ll be up a while. Stay safe everyone!
submitted by 2nd-account-2 to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 19:55 n0thric Finding My Soulmate - Part 6

Here is part six of my story. The story is 100% true - the only things that have been changed are the names. This part is from January 2019 until Thanksgiving of 2019. I'm only posting the remaining parts of the story here on my profile because it doesn't seem fitting to put them anywhere else. Messages & chats are welcome and encouraged. Henry Thomas
Previous parts: Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five
And life went on. The three of us decided to keep Henry’s sexuality, and the nature of our relationship, a secret. His mom planned on moving to my hometown in August of 2020. Even though that was over a year away, Thomas and I looked forward to that as a changing point in our lives. We needed to be there for her and help her move. For Henry.
I kept myself busy with work and trying to help Thomas get his life back on track. Due to his psychiatric diagnoses, he qualified for state benefits. I got him signed up and he started getting a check each month. We used that money to get him his own apartment. He was so proud that he had a place of his own.
He decorated his room just the way he liked it and organized his things. I started teaching him the basics of life that nobody had ever taken the time to teach him. I taught him how to do his laundry. I taught him how to create a budget for himself. I taught him the basics of cooking. He had a few recipes that he got good at making for himself.
That summer we planned a big trip. He had always wanted to go to a huge yearly convention in Pittsburgh, but couldn’t ever convince anyone to take him. The look on his face when I told him that we were going was indescribable.
The trip was amazing. Thomas had such a great time. He finally started feeling like he had someone he could always count on. He and I had long ago pledged to always be there for one another, but he hadn’t ever experienced having someone actually live up to a promise like that.
Every morning I would get a phone call from him. He would tell me that he loved me and told me to have a good day. I’d pick him up at lunch time and we’d go to one of the shops near his apartment for sandwiches. He’d text me every afternoon to check in and after work I’d pick him up and we’d hang out for the rest of the night. That pattern became my new normal.
That summer was hard. It seemed like every single day was the one-year anniversary of something memorable that I had done with Henry. The one-year anniversary of him coming to live with me was a tear filled day. The one-year anniversary of our memorable road trip where we went beyond being friends was too painful to describe.
The stress of keeping our relationship a secret began to take its toll on me. None of my friends ever invited me to hangout. I had become a different person. I wasn’t fun anymore.
I could be myself around Thomas though. I didn’t have to worry about suddenly breaking down in tears in front of him. He understood why. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’d start crying while driving and he’d simply place his hand over mine on the stick shift.
Henry’s birthday was approaching. His sisters invited me to come to NYC to spend the day with them. I was moved by their invitation and thought that it would be a perfect way to celebrate his first birthday after his passing.
Thomas and I debated if he should go along with me. “I want to be there for you, but if I go they will start asking questions.” he pointed out.
We went back and forth for days until finally deciding on getting a hotel room in the city where he could stay and I could retreat to if I needed him.
The hotel room was amazing and the view was stunning. Thomas was giddy. “Now promise me you won’t go out exploring the city and get lost.” I instructed. He was horrible with directions and had a bad habit of getting lost in his own neighborhood.
“I promise…” He frowned.
“If I have to suddenly come rescue you while hanging out with his sisters that will just trigger a flood of questions.”
He nodded in understanding.
I met Henry’s sisters in Times Square. I hated crowds. I hated cities. But Henry had always wanted to show me around NYC. We spent the afternoon going around to all his favorite spots. We ended up in Brooklyn at his favorite record store. I bought a few albums that he loved.
After, his older sister suggested that we grab pizza at a place he liked. After getting our slices we sat down to eat them. “Oh, that’s an interesting bracelet!” his sister said, looking at my wrist.
Shit! I forgot to take it off. She inspected it closer. “Those are your and his initials…” Fuck.
“Yeah… I rub it when I miss him.” It was the truth and seemed like something a friend might say.
“That’s so sweet.” she smiled. Crisis avoided. My phone buzzed. Thomas was checking in on me for the 20th time. I told him everything was good and that I’d be back soon. “Who keeps blowing up your phone?” she asked.
Dammit. “One of Henry’s friends keeps checking in to see how I’m doing.” Was that a normal thing for friends to be doing? I didn’t even know anymore. Was it super hot all of a sudden? I was losing it.
“Oh that’s nice of them.” They started to discuss which clothing store they wanted to go to next.
There was my escape. “I’m probably going to head out after this.”
“Oh you don’t want to come clothes shopping with us?” his sister laughed.
“Yeahhh…. Not really.” We said our goodbyes and I thanked his sister for showing me around the city.
I texted Thomas to let him know I was on my way back.
As I stepped into the elevator to head up to the room, the weight of the day suddenly hit me. The stress of it being Henry’s birthday along with the stress of trying to hide my pain from his sisters had taken its toll. Emotion started crashing down on me. It felt like the floor started to drop from under me. I grabbed the railing on the wall and tried to steady myself. Tears were starting to flow. A sob escaped. I tried desperately to contain the emotions. I was alone in the elevator but I expected it to stop suddenly and let people in.
The door opened on my floor and I rushed toward the room. I burst through the door and as soon as it shut I crumpled on the floor. Thomas jumped up from the couch and came over to me. He lifted me up and held me as I cried.
“I miss him too.” He whispered.
Eventually the sobbing subsided. I had managed to cover Thomas’ shoulder in tears and snot. “Shit, sorry.”
He laughed. “You’ve covered me in worse.” I smiled.
“I.. did something while you were gone. I hope it’s okay.” He timidly stepped aside. On the coffee table there were 3 champagne glasses, a pizza box, a card, and three roses in a glass of water.
“Thomas… you didn’t need to do all this.” I was overwhelmed.
“No, I did. For Henry and for you.” He went over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of champagne and popped the cork.
“How the fuck did you get a bottle of champagne? You’re 20.”
“I’m 20 and resourceful. And we’re in New York City…” he pointed out.
“Good point.”
He poured three glasses and handed me one. “To Henry?” he asked.
“To Henry.” we clinked our glasses together and then each clinked the 3rd. I took a sip. “Jesus he would have loved to be here with us today.”
“Would have been fuckloads more fun. I’d much rather be chasing him around the city than sitting here by myself all day.” Thomas grumbled.
“His sisters were sweet but I would have ditched them in a heartbeat to run around the city with you and him.”
“Do you want a slice of pizza?” Thomas asked. He was clearly hungry and had been waiting for me to get back to eat.
“Yeah.” He quickly handed me a slice and then began devouring one himself. “What’s the card?”
“Oh, that’s like kinda for him but kinda for you too? I dunno.” Thomas was so adorable.
“Can I open it?” I asked.
Thomas handed it to me. I opened it. It was a typical birthday card on the outside. Happy 24th Birthday. I flipped it open. It was a blank card that Thomas had written in. Wish you were still here with us. We miss you so much. Hope you’re enjoying your day up there. Love Drew and Thomas.
“Thomas that’s perfect.” I smiled at him. He was trying his best not to cry. “What should we do the rest of the night? Do you want to go explore the city?” I suggested.
“I was thinking we could just have a quiet night here and remember Henry?” He clearly had more planned. Thomas wasn’t one to suggest a ‘quiet night in’. I nodded. “Why don’t you go jump in the shower?” He suggested.
I grabbed some clean clothes and headed into the bathroom. It had a massive glass shower. I turned the water on as hot as I could stand it and climbed in. Showers used to be the highlight of my day. I loved standing in the shower and letting it rinse all my troubles away. Since Henry passed, I found myself crying in the shower as often as not. There was just something about them that caused me to realize the situation I was in.
A moment later Thomas came in. He slipped into the shower with me. To my surprise, he just hugged me. Tears ran down our faces but we were able to hold the sobs at bay. Thomas grabbed the shampoo and began to wash my hair. His touch was delicate, deliberate. After rinsing my hair he began to wash my body. It seemed almost surreal to look down and see tattoo covered hands with knuckles that had clearly been broken in fist fights tenderly washing my body. After he finished washing me, I washed him. I took my time. Letting my soapy hands explore every inch of his body. Once he was clean, he turned off the water and grabbed a towel to dry us. He then led the way back to the bed. He didn’t bother throwing on any clothes so neither did I. To my surprise there was a pillow with a shirt on it in the center of the bed. It was one of Henry’s shirts.
“I know that you always bring one of his shirts with you when we go on trips. I hope you don’t mind.” Thomas’ voice was unsure.
“Do I smell his cologne?” I asked.
“Yeah, I sprayed some on the shirt.” He climbed into bed on one side of the pillow. “I figured he could sleep between us tonight?”
It isn’t what I figured that Thomas had planned but it was perfect. “I’d like that.” For Henry’s birthday we were going to show him that he was still number one in our hearts.
“Can you maybe show me pictures of him when he was young?” Thomas asked. He had seen a few random pictures of Henry from when he was younger that I had framed in my room, but I had never taken the time to go through all his old photos with Thomas.
“I’d love to do that.” I grabbed my phone and we spent the next few hours going through all of Henry’s childhood photos. As I neared the end of the photos I looked over to find Thomas asleep on the Henry pillow. He had his arm wrapped around it and his face buried in it. I think he missed Henry’s smell. I set down my phone and wrapped my arm around the Henry pillow too.
“Happy birthday Henry. We miss you sweetheart.” I laid my head down on his shirt and let my mind wander back to the nights when I rested my head on him to fall asleep.
That night we slept with the mock-Henry between us. We both held it tight, as if we believed holding it would keep the memory of Henry from slipping from our minds.
Over the next few months, Thomas and I settled into our new pattern. He’d text me all day while I was at work. We’d meet up for lunch and then I’d go pick him up after work. Some nights he’d stay at my place. Some nights I’d stay at his place. Sometimes we’d each sleep at our own place.
Around November I started to see a change in him. He began to forget things. He’d call me to make plans and then not remember that he’d called me when I showed up at his place. At first we both just chalked it up to his past drug use. Then it suddenly got worse. One night he called me at 11pm crying.
“Drew?”
“Yeah buddy, what’s wrong?”
“Where am I?” his words sent a shiver down my spine.
“I don’t know… where are you?” I was suddenly worried that he’d been roofied by someone.
He started to describe the room that he was in and it only took me a moment to realize it was his own bedroom. “Dude, that’s your room. Go look at the photo hanging by the door. It’s you and Henry right?”
The fear in his voice changed to confusion. “Yeah… it is.” Neither of us said anything for a second. “Can you come over, I’m scared.”
“I’m on my way. Stay on the phone with me okay?” I drove over as quickly as I could. By the time I got there, his memory was working normally again. I stayed the night at his place to make sure he was okay. He was terrified of doctors but I convinced him to let me take him to see his doctor.
It was a useless visit. They just said it was most likely due to past drug use and gave no suggestions on what to do if it happened again.
Over the next week our ‘normal’ had changed yet again. Now every night I would spend an hour at his place each night organizing all of his things. We got little boxes that were labeled so that Thomas could find his things. All the chargers went into the chargers and cables box. All his vape supplies went into the vape box. I had to start doing his laundry for him because he couldn’t remember how to use the machine.
The day before Thanksgiving, he was riding his bike to get a coffee and was hit by a hit-and-run driver while in a crosswalk. He called me as soon as it happened. I was there in a matter of minutes and found him battered and bloody on the side of the road. Nobody else had stopped to help him. I rushed him to the ER.
They whisked him away to take X-rays. I called his parents to let them know what had happened. His mother said she would meet us at the hospital.
He got wheeled into a room to wait for the results of the X-rays. I was already there waiting for him. He began to have a full blown panic attack.
“Drew I need you to hold my hand. I’m freaking out. But don’t let anyone see you holding my hand.” Typical Thomas. He hated appearing weak. I slipped my hand under the blanket they had put over him and held his hand. His mom arrived a few minutes later. She sat with us to wait for the results.
A middle aged man who looked like he hadn’t slept in days stepped into the room. “So the X-rays are back and Thomas you have 4 broken ribs. Your arm and leg aren’t broken, just bruised really badly. All your internal organs look fine. Unfortunately there’s no way to put casts on broken ribs so you’re just going to be in pain for a few weeks. We can put you on pain killers…”
Thomas cut him off, “I can’t take pain killers… I have a history.”
The doctor nodded in understanding. “We’ll just give you strong Ibuprofen and some Lidocaine patches then. You’re going to have trouble getting in and out of bed and bending over for a while.” And with that he was gone.
Thomas’ mom looked concerned. “I guess you could come stay with me for a couple days…”
“I’m staying with him.” he pointed at me.
“Are you sure?” she seemed concerned.
“I’m not going to have you help me wash my weewee for the next two weeks.” Apparently he was in so much pain he didn’t give a fuck what he said. I shrugged at his mom.
“You don’t mind?” she asked me.
“Nope, I’ll take care of him.”
“Find me a wheelchair. I don’t feel like walking.” he told her. She went to go find a wheelchair. As soon as she was gone he whispered, “Okay help me get my boxers on quick while she’s gone.”
I grabbed his boxers and slid them up under his hospital gown. He had trouble lifting his ass so I just forced them up. “Pants!” he ordered. He wore rather tight jeans so they took a little more finesse to get on him. Luckily we managed to get them on and were halfway through getting his socks and shoes on when his mom returned with a wheelchair.
I helped him off the bed and he had me help him put on his long sleeve zip up over the gown. “I’m just taking this bitch with me.”
His mom gave him a kiss on the top of the head and I wheeled him out to my car. I helped him stand up out of the wheelchair and then eased him into the car. “Okay that actually wasn’t too bad.” I took the wheelchair back and then hopped in the car. Thomas handed me the prescriptions that the doctor had given him for Ibuprofen and Lidocaine patches. “Can we do a drive through pharmacy so I don’t need to stand up again?” He gave me his best puppy dog eyes.
“Of course dude. You don’t need to use the eyes on me.” I laughed.
I filled his scripts and then jumped on the highway. “Where are we going?” he asked.
“I’m dog sitting for a friend, remember?”
Thomas immediately got excited. He loved dogs. “How long are you doing that for?”
“The next two weeks.”
“Can I live with you for the two weeks?” He tried to make his voice as sweet as possible.
“Of course buddy. That’s the plan.”
When we arrived I lifted Thomas out of the car and helped him walk inside. His knee was pretty banged up and he was limping. As soon as the dog saw him he understood that Thomas was hurt. He approached Thomas slowly and carefully sniffed his leg. I led Thomas to the bathroom. I should wash your clothes to try to get the blood out. I helped him strip down. His arms and legs were covered in dried blood from the road rash. I threw his clothes in the washer and then turned on the shower. Luckily it was a large walk-in shower so I was able to help him limp in. He leaned on me while I washed him carefully. All of the cuts had dried up except for one on his elbow and one on his knee. I got him out of the shower and bandaged those two.
“Dude, what the fuck would I do if I didn’t have you right now?” he asked. His voice cracked with emotion.
“I don’t know, but you’ve always got me so you don’t need to worry about it.” I assured him.
I grabbed a clean pair of boxers and kneeled down in front of him so that he could step into them. He put a hand on my shoulder and stepped forward so that his dick smacked into my face. “Oh damn, sorry.” He rubbed it around for a bit. “Oops jeez.”
“Just step into the damned boxers. You’re too busted to fool around.” I laughed at him.
He did as I instructed. I helped him to the bedroom and gently laid him down in the bed. “Can you get me my phone?” I grabbed it and handed it to him. “Would you mind if we did Thanksgiving here, just the two of us?” he asked.
“You don’t want to go to your mom’s tomorrow?” I already knew the answer before I asked.
“Fuck no.”
“Yeah, I guess I can do a Thanksgiving meal here.”
Thomas immediately jumped on his phone and texted his mom to let her know that he wasn’t coming. He struggled to get comfortable. He clearly wanted to rest his head on me like he normally did, but it was hard with his broken ribs. I carefully slid my arm under his neck so that he could feel like he was sleeping on me. He smiled at me and closed his eyes.
submitted by n0thric to u/n0thric [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 20:33 Working_Ad6492 Frustrated and stir crazy over a breakup

LONG, DETAILED STORY AHEAD
Last October I my girlfriend of 5 years and I decided to take a break, although I was the one who decided to initiate it. We met in freshman year of college and things started going downhill once we graduated and I moved to NYC to pursue my career. The distance eventually eroded our connection i guess.
After a few weeks we started talking again and i was hoping we would be able to meet again a few months after we started our break, but between changed plans and then the pandemic it wasn’t possible anymore. In March of this year moved out of my NYC apt to save money. We stayed in touch via FaceTime and I made numerous attempts to get us to talk about the state of our relationship, but she would always brush things off saying that there was nothing new to discuss.
After a few months and a lot of soul searching I started letting people know that I had plans to move out west to LA next year once the entertainment industry really started getting back on track, though these plans were not certain. I had felt like my life was at a standstill and I really wanted to make moves. I started live streaming and taking voice acting lessons too. Streaming and building my community along with friends really helped me mentally, but then after things started to settle again I found myself missing her again.
About a month ago I asked her to video chat and I had intentions to tell her that i wanted us to get closer again, but she hit me with the news that she had been seeing another guy. She said she wanted to tell me this sooner but in her own words, “You were doing so much with your live-streaming stuff that i didn’t want to upset you.” This sent me into a whirlwind of emotions, but also conflicted me. With all the time that we were apart and with me being open with my intentions to move to LA, I understand how she could feel that our relationship has forever moved on from ever being romantic again. However, we never said that we were officially done done and said that we were going to talk about officially ending it if we ever found someone new. Instead, I found out when she was already with someone else.
One of my issues is that I’m afraid of “being mean” to people, especially my close friends, so if there’s something I don’t like I often held my feelings in so that I didn’t hurt them. This was a major issue in our relationship that I learned over the course of the year. When she first told me about this new guy, I reverted to sounding like I was happy for her, but not like joyous or anything. But in reality I was shocked, angry, and jealous...whether or not I have any right to be, that’s just how I felt. I quickly realized that I wasn’t being truthful and I asked if we could meet in person, to which she was actually more than willing to do. That didn’t stop the next few days being some of the most miserable of my entire life.
We met about a week later. In the interim I had actually gone to a family friend who’s a licensed therapist and she’s helped me cope with my feelings. We met at a park near me and I talked about how I really felt without getting angry and she was very understanding. I told her what I was going to tell her the week prior, before she had hit me with the bad news, that I missed her and wanted to try again with what I had learned about myself. Like I thought, it didn’t change anything and the rest of the convo was pretty much us tying up any last lose ends of us as a couple. I guess that was our official breakup.
Now we arrive at my current mental state. A few days ago i finally caught a pic of her and her new boyfriend, and it internally threw me into a fit of rage. I didn’t sleep the whole night and actually went to my basement to lift weights to find a healthy way of getting out my anger. My family that knows me so well knew immediately what was wrong and tried talking with me, but I honestly had a hard time keeping myself together.
Now I feel something that I had never felt for the girl that I loved for 5 years, resentfulness. I’m angry that she found someone so quickly, that she didn’t tell me sooner, that she didn’t officially cut things off beforehand, and that I’m stuck feeling this way as a result. I know it’s probably selfish me feeling this way but after keeping my feelings underneath for so long I don’t know how else to react. I haven’t texted her back since i saw that photo and I probably can’t stomach looking at her profile anytime in the near future.
I’m currently away from home in NJ and I’m in Florida helping my sister and her fiancé move into their new house, they live right near Disney World. During the day it’s monotonous furniture building (IKEA of course) and getting the house together. No matter how much I try I can’t stop thinking about her and how upset I am. Speaking honestly, at night all I wanna do is go out to Disney Springs, where all the bars, restaurants, and shops are and chat and meet new people, specifically girls. However given the conditions of the pandemic it’s not that socially acceptable anymore especially at Disney and it’s driving me crazy. What’s weird I’ve never ever been the type of person to chat random girls up but all of this frustration is making me stir crazy.
I’m fully aware of how pathetic this could all sound. I know that before i can be happy I have to be happy with myself alone but seeing everyone else I’m around with a wife or girlfriend or fiancé it’s really making me feel like shit. Thanks to anyone who reads this really long feelings dump. I hope you have an awesome day.
submitted by Working_Ad6492 to Vent [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 13:17 gradschoolMD I am a 22 year old full-time graduate student making about $17,000/year from my three part-time jobs

EDIT: forgot my location in the title, I’m in upstate NY
If I were to write an R29-style header for this, I would say "Today: a 22 year old graduate student who makes $17,000/year and spends some of her money this week on bagels and laundry". I submitted a Money Diary this past March so I guess this is technically a follow-up, but my life looks very different now so I'd really consider them entirely separate.

Basic Information

Monthly Expenses

Yearly Expenses

Additional R29 questions/education expenses context because this is a grad school diary and I thought it would make sense to answer these!

Monday, September 7

7:45 AM I have an 8 AM nonprofit finance class this morning, but it’s online so I can sleep in super late. I wake up 15 minutes before class time, pour myself a cold brew that I make in my french press, throw on a sweatshirt over my pajamas and brush my hair before heading back to bed with my laptop for class. I’m able to keep my camera off for most of the zoom call, so it’s a relaxing way to start my week.
9:30 AM Another online class! This one requires cameras-on the whole time, so I leave my bed and go chill on my couch so I look slightly more presentable. In-class group work over Zoom is really just not the same- does anyone else hate team breakout rooms? Near the end of the lecture I start getting hungry, but realize I won't have time between the end of this class and the time I have to leave for campus to make food. I order a bagel for pickup at a cafe on the way to campus while the lecture finishes up. $3.08
10:45 AM Time to get ready for my first in-person class of the week. I throw on athletic shorts and a bra under the same pajama t-shirt and sweatshirt I was wearing earlier- yes, I’m a fashion icon. Grab my mask and I’m out the door, I pick up my pre-ordered bagel on the way and eat it while I walk. The class is okay, it's a quant modeling class which is way out of my comfort zone, so I'm glad that I'm able to take it in-person (at least until we inevitably get forced online by NY regulations).
1:15 PM I’m back in my apartment and heat up leftovers from last night’s dinner for lunch (cauliflower rice with roasted chickpeas, sweet potatoes, tofu, and a tahini garlic sauce) while listening to folklore. I think I've settled on august as my favorite song. Email my landlord about fixing a few things in my apartment that I've been trying to get him to sort out for literal weeks.
2:00 PM I have a planning meeting with the professor that I TA for. He’s super busy and bad at communication, so I’ve been handling the brunt of student questions so far. I made the mistake of letting the first-years add me to their class group chat, and they’ve been texting me at all hours. We talk about this and clarify what expectations should be for my TA position- he seems to want me to work 10-15 hours/week even though I was told 5-9 by the admin assistant who hired me. I can probably do 10-15, just not every week. We'll see.
2:30 PM The meeting transitions right into the class- I mostly just chill (camera on, unfortunately) listening to the lecture and taking attendance/marking participation, and nod sporadically when the professor makes reference to me. I won’t have many out-of-class responsibilities until grading starts, since I don’t have to run open office hours. After the class ends I work on organizing the course website and figuring out what the hell the prof is trying to do with the syllabus. Class hours and all prep/grading is billable time for TAs.
4:45 PM Realize that my fridge is pretty much empty except for a few random condiments and the rest of the leftovers that I had for lunch. I head out for a Wegman's run and buy enough for at least a week and a half- I used to go once a week, but with COVID I'm trying to spend less time in crowded grocery stores. I don't feel like cooking so I end up having some of the chana dal snacks and ice cream that I just got for dinner around 6:30. So healthy. $98.67, split out into food & home categories
7:30 PM Another online class! I hate night classes and strongly dislike online classes, so this seems like a recipe for disaster- however it's actually a really interesting course on inequality in education with a professor I think I'll really like, so hopefully it'll be worth it.
9:55 PM Class is over. 2 and a half hours is absolutely brutal for a nonstop Zoom meeting, especially at night and for my fifth class of the day. I shower and change into pajamas and catch the end of the Lightning-Islanders game. My favorite team and all of the teams I ended up bandwagoning are now out of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, so I'm trying to find a new one to root for- the game was high-scoring and fun to watch but I still don't like these teams.
Daily total: $101.75

Tuesday, September 8

9:30 AM I get to sleep in a bit today! I was supposed to have a shift at the COVID center starting at 7:30, but the university keeps changing the hours of the sites (it's a total disaster), so now my shift starts at 10:45. First thing I do when I wake up is send a quick thank-you text to my sister who's going to visit our mom- she broke her foot last week and her boyfriend (they live in the same town in separate houses) is being shitty and not helping her, so my sister is leaving college to go stay with her for a bit. I'm a few hours closer to home, but I have in-person work and class whereas my sister's school is totally online this semester. I have some scrambled eggs with spinach and cheese for breakfast before I leave the house.
10:15 AM I'm out of homemade cold brew and have a bit of time, so I drive to Dunkin to grab a coffee. I reload my rewards card to pay for it, and earn a free drink for my next visit! I'm from Massachusetts and the fact that I actually have to go out of my way to drive to Dunkin in New York makes me a lil sad. $10.00
10:45 AM Time for work- one of the blessings of the COVID job is free parking in high-demand lots (where the yearly parking cost would be about $900) on campus near the test sites, so I drive there straight from Dunkin. Luckily it's not too crazy of a shift, but I end up seated at a station next to this really weird coworker who keeps making wack comments about his personal life that are extremely inappropriate for the workplace. I make note of his name and plan to email my supervisor later, he's making me kind of uncomfortable and he's saying awkward sexual shit around people who are at the site to get tested.
1:00 PM Done with my shift so it's time for class! It's another quant class where I'm wayyy out of my comfort zone, I haven't taken econometrics in three years and it looks like I'll have to re-learn a lot of stuff in order to keep up. The professor seems good though, which will make a big difference since my last econometrics professor was terrible.
3:00 PM I pick up my car and head home, and immediately am bombarded with texts from my TA class- the readings haven't been posted correctly to the class website. Quickly fix that and put out a few other related fires. Trying to run an entirely-online class where lots of the students are participating asynchronously from another continent is a nightmare, I shoot an email to the professor about monitoring asynchronous course participation since we need to come up with a system for that ASAP.
4:00 PM Heat up the last of the leftover veggies and cauliflower rice from a few days ago, and settle in to catch up on miscellaneous work stuff. I draft an email to my supervisor about my coworker and have my mom look it over (with names redacted) since she works in HR. I'm going to wait to send it for at least a day so if he gets written up maybe he won't realize it's me that prompted it. I wash my bedsheets and towels in my building's coin-op washedryer. $3.00
9:00 PM My meal schedule has been way off today, with a super late lunch and dinner. I make this recipe, with a plant-based sausage added for protein. I eat 95% vegetarian and I'm making a conscious effort this year to eat vegetables multiple times a day.
1:15 AM After another few hours of scrolling through TikTok and finishing fixing the disaster of a website for my TA class, I head to bed.
Daily Total: $13.00

Wednesday, September 9

7:00 AM It's too early and I went to bed too late. The 8 AM online class I had on Monday is in-person on Wednesday, and I'm kind of regretting not signing up for the fully online version since it means I have to actually get ready in the morning. I drag myself out of bed and into the shower, and before I head out I order a coffee and a breakfast sandwich to pick up from Starbucks on my walk to campus. $7.34
9:30 AM Second class of the day, online. I'm realizing I don't really like this course and will probably try to find another one to replace it before the drop deadline. I find a quiet-ish courtyard on campus to go on Zoom, since all of the normal study spaces are closed. This is not gonna work once it gets really cold in upstate NY. While listening to the Zoom lecture, I see that my manager at my COVID job has scheduled me for a last-minute shift that conflicts with a class tomorrow- I email her and hope that she sees it in time. This job creates 8-hour shifts in the middle of the day with no easy option for partial hours, and then they wonder why they can't get their student employees on the schedule.
1:00 PM Head home after my third class of the day. I was distracted the whole time, trying to sort through TA and other work stuff (my shift got fixed at the COVID job, thank god) during the lecture, so I'll probably have to skim the slides again later. I chatted with a classmate in my cohort afterwards for a bit, and realize that that's the first time I've talked to someone outside of my family in a non-work capacity in over a week. Yikes. I make lunch (roasted asparagus and goat cheese pasta, are you sensing the "roasted veggie + pasta/rice + cheese" theme that makes up the majority of my meals?) and chill a bit before my TA class starts.
6:00 PM After finishing my TA class and working through some course readings, I make a kale salad with roasted chickpeas, sweet potatoes, goat cheese, and a tahini dressing for dinner. While I'm cooking dinner my dad calls, and I talk to him for about half an hour- we haven't talked for two weeks so I update him on a lot of stuff. My sister also texts and says that our mom gave her a lecture about how she needs to be nicer to the boyfriend- we both agree that we're not quite ready to go back to being pleasant to him yet, and would like to hear his reasoning and perhaps an apology for being so unhelpful that my sister had to drive four hours to do what he should have been doing all along.
10:00 PM I'm not having a great night, feeling quite depressed and socially isolated. I struggled socially as an undergrad and didn't really have any close friends, and now that the majority of my friends/acquaintances from undergrad have left and I haven't made any friends in my short time in pandemic-grad-school, I'm stuck by myself most of the time. It's really difficult to look out my window and see houses full of friends hanging out on their porch on a beautiful night and wishing I could have had that while knowing I never will. I end up going to bed early since I'm just tired and sad.
Daily Total: $7.34

Thursday, September 10

9:00 AM I wake up feeling slightly better than last night, but still feel a bit worn out. My sister texts that my mom now needs to be in a cast for 6 weeks. Hopefully the boyfriend can get his shit together. I make a breakfast sandwich with eggs, cheese, and spinach. I hang around my apartment for a while since work doesn't start until 11:45.
11:30 AM On my way to work, I stop and grab a coffee at a cafe ($4.16) and then go to 7/11 to pick up a notebook for class and a pack of batteries that I need for my string lights ($14.56).
1:15 PM After spending an hour and a half at work, I take my break in order to go to class. I'm supposed to go in-person, but I can't make it across campus fast enough and end up just going to the Zoom session. I am going to need to do some serious studying for this class, stats and econometrics is like another language to me.
2:45 PM Class is over and I'm back to work. There's a nonstop stream of students and staff coming to get tested, I personally go through at least 100 people over the course of three hours. Near the end of my shift, my coworker (the same one I'm reporting, actually) checks his email and finds out that he's been given a $3/hour raise and is now benefits-eligible. I immediately race to my phone, but there's no email. Everyone tries to figure out who qualified for the raise, and we come to the conclusion that student workers didn't get it. I might reach out to my supervisor about that, seems kind of ridiculous given that we do the exact same job. I don't need benefits and probably don't qualify anyways but the raise would be awesome.
7:00 PM I get home from work and eat some of the leftover kale salad, lentil chips and a homemade za'atar goat cheese dip, and an apple with peanut butter. I'm so hungry since I haven't eaten since the egg sandwich at 9 AM.
11:00 PM I re-watch the two econometrics lectures from this week– a huge perk of Zoom class is recorded lectures– and try to take more detailed notes and go through the motions of the coding myself. I still don't really get it, and feel pretty dumb listening to the intelligent questions that my classmates (half of whom are undergrads) are asking. Math in all forms has been a weak point for me since middle school, but I'm trying to power through so I can enter the workforce with at least some quant skills.
Daily Total: $18.72

Friday, September 11

9:00 AM Wake up and scroll through my social media for a bit, and have the rest of the kale salad for breakfast. Not really a traditional breakfast but I don't feel like cooking anything. I have my orientation for my research job this morning, and I think it's going to be a great experience! The two other grad researchers are both students in my program, so it'll be nice to get to know some more people. My official start date is next week, though I'm being paid for training. Once I'm done on that Zoom call, I head to work at the COVID center at 11.
3:00 PM I finally get my lunch break- there's not much open, so I'm limited to the one cafe near my work site. I pick up a bagel and a coffee, and the women who work there give me free coffee add-ons (oat milk and vanilla syrup) since they recognize me after I did their COVID tests in the morning. I love the dining workers on my campus. I have some extra dining dollars from last semester that rolled over due to COVID, so I use the last of those and pay the balance with my debit card. $1.06, remainder was pre-paid from last spring
7:00 PM Finally home- I decide to clean my apartment for a bit before showering, and I'm disgusted by how dirty it got. I'm a huge clean freak and this apartment isn't super well-kept (thank you college town slumlords!) and has a lot of cobwebs/dirty areas, so it causes basically a constant undercurrent of anxiety. I've recently been thinking a lot about my old apartment, which was newly renovated and a 2-bedroom which would have cost me $1,000/month for my share this year. My desire to live alone and be in the area where I thought I could best make a last-ditch effort at meeting people and making friends won out over my love for that apartment, and I'm pretty seriously regretting it at this point given the whole COVID situation. Depending on how the spring semester shakes out, I might try to sublet it and find a different place.
9:00 PM I'm still feeling a bit anxious and unsettled after cleaning, and don't really have the mental fortitude to cook tonight. A $5 coupon from GrubHub arrives in my email inbox like they can read my mind. I order paneer makhani to pick up from the Indian restaurant a block away from my apartment, and try to turn it into a positive thought about the apartment itself- my old place wasn't walking distance from Indian food, this one is. $10.07
11:00 PM My mom sends me a link to a video that she found of my school's 9/11 memorial dedication. We lost 21 alums that day, and a permanent memorial was dedicated a few years ago. I've gone a few times to see it in person and met some of the families through my previous jobs, so I spend some time watching the video. I was just shy of 4 years old on 9/11 so I obviously don't remember much, but going to a school with a large number of students from NYC almost guarantees that everyone knows someone with a personal connection. It always feels a bit solemn around here on the day.
4:00 AM I couldn't sleep. Finally pass out sometime between 3:30 and 4.
Daily Total: $11.13

Saturday, September 12

9:00 AM Drag myself out of bed and make scrambled eggs with cheese, and some cold brew that's been sitting in the french press for several days with the coffee grinds- this is basically liquid cocaine, it's extremely caffeinated but I'll need that today. I leave my apartment around 9:40 and start walking to work.
10:00 AM Today isn't too crazy, which is unexpected given that the site I'm working at is usually one of the more crowded ones. The shift supervisor today is the sweetest woman, she comes around and takes our individual coffee orders and brings them to us at our stations. I take quick breaks whenever I can to run to the corner to slip my mask off and take a drink. I chat to some of the other student workers when we have longer periods of down time, they seem really nice. I might try to work this site more often and get to know them better.
3:00 I drew the short straw once again and got the late lunch break- nothing's open on campus since it's Saturday, so I run back to the cafe near my apartment and order a turkey sandwich. I know I need to start bringing my own lunch, but we have no microwaves and the only fridges we have at the sites are for test tubes and ice packs so that makes it a bit difficult. $9.08
6:00 PM Done at work and headed home- I make a roasted cauliflower pasta that uses the rest of the spinach as well, and save some for tomorrow's dinner.
10:00 PM Lounging around in bed and watching the Vegas-Dallas game. I think I'd rather have one of these teams win the Cup than either of the teams in the ECF.
1:30 AM Fall asleep

Sunday, September 13

9:00 AM Up for another day of work. I make some eggs and cut up an apple with peanut butter.
10:00 AM My job today is as a greeter, so I'm not doing the actual registration and test observation, and am instead in charge of getting people lined up and dealing with the logistics of the site. A lot of the people in the line tell me that they were supposed to have an appointment at another site, but they showed up and it was dark and no one was there to deal with the 75 people waiting in line. We realize there's been a huge staffing miscommunication with our local health system partner, and this happened at three sites. What a clusterfuck. I also committed the cardinal sin of autumn in New York by not appropriately layering- it's suddenly 50 and raining, and I'm freezing my ass off sitting outside in leggings and a t-shirt.
2:30 PM Lunch break- I go to the one place on campus open on Sunday afternoons to grab a salad. $8.70
3:00 PM Still a decent flow of people coming through the site since we're still taking over from the sites that unexpectedly closed. By the end of the day, we've tested over 1,100 people just at this one site. I'm developing a horrible crick in my neck from turning to look and point each person to where they need to go.
6:00 PM Home from work. I heat up the rest of the pasta from last night and try to massage my neck a bit- I can tell it's going to hurt tomorrow, feeling like I'm 82 instead of 22. I prep some cold brew for tomorrow morning.
10:30 PM I'm absolutely exhausted, so I fall asleep around 10:30 for the first time in weeks. Hopefully this means I'll be well-rested for my 8 AM tomorrow.
Daily total: $8.70

Monday, September 14

7:45 AM I wake up feeling somewhat well-rested, but my neck is still really hurting. I grab some of the cold brew from the fridge and go to my online class.
9:15 AM I find a class that I'm interested in to replace the one that I'm thinking of dropping, and start getting ready to go to it to check it out. Just as I'm about to leave, I realize my neck is getting to be absolutely unbearable and I don't think I can make the walk up to campus with my backpack without a lot of pain. I shoot the professor a quick email asking for the Zoom link, and he manages to get back to me before the class starts! I join the online section and like the course, so I plan to make the official switch in my schedule. The class I don't like is taught by my advisor (who I'm hoping to TA for in the spring), so that might be a little awkward when I leave.
11:30 AM I make some pasta with a veggie sausage for lunch and go to class- this is usually an in-person class for me but I stay home and go to the online section today because I'm still in pain.
2:30 PM TA class- I'm required to have my camera on, and after comfortably laying down all day I feel like I'm dying because of the position that I'm being forced to keep my neck in. I periodically turn my camera off to lay down for a minute and scream into my pillow before coming back and pretending that nothing's wrong.
4:30 PM I drive to a laundromat to wash my clothes- I'm out of coins and need to go to the laundromat to get them from the machine, so I do my wash there instead of in my building. While I wait for my wash I call my grandma and catch up for a bit, and when I move my clothes to the dryer I go to Target to return some stuff I bought for my apartment and get painkillers. Have a mini-breakdown in the parking lot of Target because I'm so anxious about my apartment and the cost and how it's not kept-up and how I'm feeling so much regret about the lease. I send a frantic 3-paragraph text to my mom and dad about this and tell them that I want to try to find a subletter and come home. $6.00 for laundry, +$51.69 in refunds from Target (not included in breakdown), $4.07 for Ibuprofen
7:30 PM Dinner (eggs on toast) and online class. I'm really distracted, I hate Zoom class. My mom texts me throughout and I reply for a bit, and kind of unload about feeling super lonely and stressed. My dad calls around 10 after class is over, and we talk for a bit. I'm not sure he really gets where I'm coming from but he does his best to provide support, in an emotionally-stunted-middle-aged-dad kind of way (which is mostly just him talking about how I always "manage to power through" and referencing sunk costs and uncertainty). Honestly, I probably won't sublet the apartment just because I don't know if I'm ready to move all my shit again and because it's a buyer's market for sublets right now, but I really wish I had tried to get out of my lease before it started in August. I always have a lot of anxiety and regrets about large purchases, so this is nothing new. What I probably need instead of a sublet is to go back to therapy.
2:30 AM I'm still up writing a paper, so I answer a text in the group chat for my TA class about the paper- the student who asked apologizes for bothering me so late, she's abroad and didn't realize what time it was in NY. I'm fine with answering if I'm up, but I'm going to have to force myself to not answer until the morning so they don't start expecting that kind of immediate response from me.
Daily Total: $10.07

WEEKLY TOTAL: $179.79

CATEGORY TOTAL
Food and Drink $148.18 total ($53.49 from restaurants/cafes and $94.69 for groceries)
Fun and Entertainment $0
Home and Health $8.05
Clothes and Beauty $0
Transport $0
Other $23.56

Notes

This was a typical week for me- I work a lot, I spend a lot on food, and I don't spend on much else beyond my monthly expenses. Obviously I don't buy $100 of groceries every week, since those last about two weeks- I usually shop on Mondays, restock on fresh veggies at the Wednesday farmer's market the next week, which runs me about $15-20, and then go to Wegmans again on Monday. I'm trying to spend less on coffee since I realize it's ridiculous to buy a $4 drink every morning when I can buy an $8 bag of beans and get 12 cups out of it.
As I get more into my research job, I'll be shifting some hours from the COVID job to that- it pays more and is more beneficial to my career, and I don't have the physical or mental energy to continue at this pace for the COVID job. This pay cycle (Thurs 9/10 to Wed 9/16) I worked 32.8 hours, which will probably be typical as a weekly total for this semester- just with a different breakdown by job (6-10 TA, 15 research, 10-15 COVID). This coming week I'm scheduled right up against the 40-hour limit, with 39.6. And yes, I do bill my time answering questions at 2:30 AM, I just put it on my timecard as a more normal time lol
submitted by gradschoolMD to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.09.09 09:46 Rachamanov Needing Some Community

Hey NYC!
So, I know a lot of people are struggling in various areas of life right now, and things are coming to a bit of a head for me. I'm hoping to find some support or even just commiseration with this post.
My background: I moved here from the Midwest just over 9 months ago (killer timing) in an attempt to pursue my dreams of theatre and music. I was actually able to scrape together a living and landed some teaching gigs (not exactly what I want, but I was willing to work anything that involved music/performance) by the time March rolled around. After quarantine, I've had the opportunity to teach virtually some, but my already tiny network is drying up, and I'm trying to seek signs of life within the industry when I never really got a good feel for the pulse when everything was healthy.
Now: I'm feeling quite lost. I live with some great roomies in BK, but all non-theatre peeps. My current lack of work and prospects is a fatiguing reality. I know I'm missing my tribe, but I don't have the faintest where to start looking considering so many performers have left the city--not to mention I'm feeling very anxious about socializing considering both Covid and the fact that without PUA, I've only been making half rent through UI for the past six weeks.
I'm seeking some familiarity in a place that seems frozen in the unfamiliar. I don't mean to come off dramatic, but my mood swings wide and deep from week to week. I am seeing a therapist regularly, and I am definitely leaning on video chats/phone calls with friends and family I left back in my hometown, but these things only do so much, especially considering I had to cancel my plans to visit when travel became an issue.
I know I'm wandering, and I think mostly I just needed to share my plight with anyone who will read it. My questions are these:
Where can I find the theatre people left in NYC? What are some (free) things you are doing that help you cope?
I will also accept random thoughts, words of encouragement, and empathetic commiseration.
submitted by Rachamanov to AskNYC [link] [comments]


2020.09.05 00:30 88mathqu33n Hi, I’m a Polish gentile...

Hi, I’m a Polish gentile working towards a career in fighting hate against marginalized groups. Specifically, I’m preparing myself to one day work in Holocaust education and developing professionally and personally in preparation for going further into the education and work experience that will be part of my journey. I’m getting the personal work done in order to be truly prepared to take on the responsibilities that come with such a profession. I noticed that you better understand just how much bigotry has entrenched itself in popular culture, the more you re-examine what you consume and how you relate to certain people in your life, if you have been relatively sheltered for a long time. Considering how you understand antisemitism better than I ever and many of you clearly understand other types of racism, I was wondering if you would mind giving me advice on certain issues. I tried to do my own homework, but it seems like a lot of these issues are not as often discussed as, for example, if “Gone With The Wind” should be taken off HBO - a topic that one can learn about largely through reading what others have said on the issue. It seems like the most straightforward answers are to not consume such media and cut bigots out of your life, but struggle to figure out what to do regarding pop culture that is part of my mental health coping mechanisms and what to do with family and family friends. Those largely make up my main issues, regarding the ethical crises I’m having surrounding my professional and basic human responsibilities. I would appreciate any feedback and criticism you would like to give, and sincerely apologize if I shouldn’t be asking this of any of you. I’m confused, scared, but trying to do the right thing. I’m separating the types of crises into pop culture, people I personally know, YouTube consumption, and a fan mail situation.
I’m mainly a PC and Nintendo gamer - it’s oddly therapeutic for me, even when the game’s far from relaxing. Regarding PC gaming, how should I approach playing games in the Civilization franchise considering issues of sensitivity around playing as a leader of a nation with centuries of established culture and treating deeply valued landmarks as a strategic game mechanic dictated perhaps by the random land that you are given at the beginning of the game, considering how much geography can shape a culture. And things such as being able to do whatever the he’ll you want with political systems and religion. With such issues and others such as the treatment of “barbarians”, assumption of how “progress” follows a very specific path, and things such as insensitivity in how the Cree nation has been recently approached. To quote part of an article’s title, it’s “... the Gamification of Imperialism”. Is it wrong for me to keep playing the games in the franchise that I have and not buy anything else from the franchise? What about the Binding of Isaac franchise, and the edgy humour that can occasionally go in very gross directions, such as in-game text upon picking up the Aquarius item that says “Trail of Tears”?
About Nintendo, would you say that Wario is an antisemitic stereotype? How should I approach my consumption of games like Mario Kart? Also, what about Ganondorf, and Gerudos? How should I approach my consumption of Zelda games, including the ones that have Ganon instead? In the case of the shopkeeper(s) in Crypt of the NecroDancer and Cadence of Hyrule, would you say that there are any stereotypes? I don’t know if I’m reading too much into things, but I’m terrified of overlooking anything. Also, what about orientalism in the Mario Land series, and stereotypical indigenous peoples in regard to the Delfino inhabitants originally from Sunshine? Or the Moe-Eye statues in Odyssey and the issue of imagery in pop culture that doesn’t respect aspects of indigenous cultures? Again, I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it or not. What about the fact that there voice actor for characters such as Mario, Luigi, and Wario was also the voice actors for the Super Nintendo Punch-Out game, with its stereotypes including those for racialized peoples? And Mike Tyson’s Punch Out’s stereotypes, particularly of racialized peoples. How far removed would you say the Nintendo of today is from that, and how should I approach official emulators with games from that franchise? I’m not sure to what extent I’m overreacting, but yeah. I’m also concerned about Nintendo working with Tencent and basically collaborating with the current Chinese government, and Tencent’s involvement with state propaganda. Especially with how things have been since Xi Jingping got in power. Tencent also owns We Chat, which had a role in suppressing sharing of information on Covid, and the human cost of that. I don’t know how, or if, I should change my Nintendo consumption.
Considering that the members of the band New Order were the surviving members of Joy Division, even if they said that the new band name has nothing to do with Nazi history unlike the old band name (and the band name before that one was Warsaw, apparently taken from Bowie’s “Low” album yet the name of their song with that title is about Rudolf Hoess). How should I approach New Order? One of my favourite artists (Klaus Nomi) was discovered in the late 70s in NYC through Irving Plaza’s New Wave Vaudeville show, which asked in a flier from back then for (to quote the NY Times), “... “acts” like Egyptian slaves, B-girl hostesses, robot monsters, Nazis and emotional cr**ples.” In an 1980 underground film, he played a role as a Nazi official. It should be noted that he emigrated from Germany and had a really noticeable German accent. Should I worry about enjoying his stuff? Am I reacting appropriately?
I am a huge fan of horror media and really thrive during the Halloween season. I’ve done research that shows that the stereotypical Halloween witch was based on antisemitic stereotypes. Would you say that portrayals in Halloween media and decorations are far enough removed for me to ethically enjoy? What about the extent to which vampires, notably Dracula and the vampire from Nosferatu, are based on antisemitic stereotypes? These movies have helped a lot to regulate my mental health as coping mechanisms, but of course the antisemitic roots are horrific. What do I do? Is “critical consumption” and watching them through what I already own and torrenting the rest acceptable? I ask, because I’m willing to do what I have to do, whatever it is.
CW/TW: antisemitic comments made by my family members, racist comments by family friends
My mom said once when my brother was cooking onions that the house “smelled like a Jewish house”, I was disturbed and showed my disapproval, but didn’t know exactly how to react. And my other brother said that there was nothing wrong with what she said, but he’s also the type who believes that “all lives matter.” What would you suggest doing if I ever hear anything like that again? And my dad said once that Jews are “very detail-oriented”, will look over every detail in things like applications, and will either completely support you “or try to ruin you” depending on your support for fighting antisemitism. I was disturbed too, but also had trouble finding out how to react. How should I react to such situations? And should I change my level of closeness to my family? One of my brothers, sometimes and edgelord, also occasionally makes antisemitic jokes that he says are “just jokes.” My mom’s mom has spoken with disdain for a Jewish museum in my parents’ hometown in Poland. I’m torn on my family. A very old family friend my age said the n-word (I think with the hard-r) in 2012 in disdain and said he didn’t mean it “that way.” Would it be appropriate for me to act “normal” around him but keep my distance and call him out if he does anything like that again? What about a family friend who’s very much a right-winger who posts on topics that largely don’t involve race, but I am concerned with her posting a meme about Obama’s salary and (at least) subconscious racism. I also have a friend who supports the existence of Israel and a state by the Jewish people for the Jewish people, but not what he refers to as an Jewish ethnostate. I really do not know enough on this issue to see the extent to which there is a contradiction and how I should approach him.
What do I do about YouTube channels that discuss the history of horror movies and/or videogames but completely steer clear of social justice issues even when they clearly pertain to what they’re talking about at the time? With channels that have been around for quite a while, should I worry about looking back at old videos to decide if I should “privately cancel” them or not? What about a retro gaming YouTuber who plays a gif of Michael Jackson moving his pelvis back and forth while “ooh”ing on occasion when someone donates during a stream, from an old Sega Genesis game? Considering stuff like Leaving Neverland. I also follow a history channel that tries to be as unbiased as possible but when talking about a 20th century Egyptian feminist but doesn’t look at the implications of her anti-Zionism during the war and is very sympathetic to her, and they say that they’ll do something similar for feminists in the Zionist movement. They examine Nazi war crimes with great respect for the victims and excellent research, but when they posted a video on the Holodomor, they called it a “Ukrainian Holocaust.” How should I approach this channel? And another history channel that didn’t discuss the immortality of slavery in the context of Simón Bolívar owning slaves and slavery in New Grenada. They were very sympathetic to him, but otherwise are relatively ethically unquestionable in their videos. How should I approach this channel? What about a breadtube channel that examines philosophical issues, did an excellent video on antisemitism, but on a video about why and how people question expert advice laughed during a discussion that didn’t discuss the antisemitism associated with the word “cabal “ and didn’t discuss how QAnon’s “adrenochrome” conspiracy is basically a modern version of the blood libel conspiracy. Like, it was mostly laughing at the believers of those theories and looking into why people don’t believe experts. How should I approach the channel?
I had an email exchange with someone who was super important in my childhood. If you know that band from the Scooby-Doo franchise, the Hex Girls, she is the voice actress for the drummer. I found out that she has a history of supporting PETA since at least the early 90s. I don’t know what she makes of the really disgusting shit PETA has done, such as the Holocaust comparisons. 20 years ago in a Rolling Stone article, she said that she’s friends with someone who’s a very controversial figure associated with PETA who later said some pretty horrible shit about a tradition of an indigenous nation in Canada. I have no idea what she thinks of that, or any of the more awful stuff. Is it appropriate for me to keep the file where I copy-pasted the letter exchange as a moment where I connected with someone who indirectly helped me through an unusually difficult childhood and who’s views on PETA’s actions are unknown to me?
Pardon the length: I’m working on changing my understanding of much in my life and find that it’s best to ask people whose knowledge and values I trust: both friends and strangers. I know that it would be much more painful if I was from a community targeted by any of the contexts I mentioned above. Thank you for your time and patience.
submitted by 88mathqu33n to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.09.03 21:52 alj238fahlksdj How do I know if I was the abused or the abuser?

This is something I’ve been struggling with for years, possibly up to 5 years now. My relationship with D was a long and complicated one, dark and heavy, but also filled with a lot of love and devotion… I am still messed up from it, and now trying to cut him out of my life for the first time, I’m faced with all the things that went wrong in our relationship and wonder where I need to take responsibility and where I need to stop guilting myself.
I met D when I was 23, on Reddit. He was 28. We started messaging after he posted about wanting to find someone to go on a cross-country road trip with him. He was living in a different state at the time. We found each other cute, started texting and occasionally video chatting. He told me he was currently married but separated, and was in the process of going through a divorce.
We talked and video chatted for about a month, getting a bit closer and flirting a bit. Then, out of nowhere one day, he tells me he’s moving to NYC (the city where I lived). That he needed a major change in his life. That if he was going to stay any longer in his state, he would go down a dark path. I was a little weirded out at the drastic decision, but also a little excited — I was single and a little lonely in NYC.
Long story short, he came up to NYC to try to find me. I agreed to meet him in person—and we always said it was love at first sight. We immediately clicked together like soulmates. We started going on marathon dates and adventures; he was fun, charming, energetic, charismatic, creative—he was unlike anyone I had ever met before. He showered me with affection and attention: Calling me the hottest girl he’d ever met. That I was incredible, amazing, that we were meant to be together, that we had a connection unlike any other, that I was his angel and I had “saved” him from his state, his ex-wife, and suicide. I was 23 and naive. He was my first real boyfriend, the first guy I had dated who I fell in love with and actually saw myself with forever. I believed all of this, because he seemed so genuine, so sweet, so present. He was everything I hadn’t been but wanted to be — social, fun, extroverted, a part of the music scene, he made me feel cool, and unique, and incredibly special. Like I was the luckiest girl in the whole world.
It was the happiest time period of my life. Looking back on it now, I struggle to know if it was truly genuine, or if it was a love-bombing phase. He was pushing me to move into a relationship with him quickly when I wanted to take things slow, told me he loved me 2 months in and got upset when I said I wasn’t ready to say I love you yet. But he kept working on me and eventually I became his girlfriend. His divorce was finalized around the same time, so I realize he never really took much time to himself between his ex-wife and starting a relationship with me. But the way he described her, she was “mean, fat, uncool, had nothing in common with him, had cheated on him,” etc etc… He made me believe he was the abused victim and his ex-wife was awful, and I was this amazing angel that he placed on a pedestal who was “so much better than her.”
Things were really happy and amazing for about 5 months. Then, we had a fight one night after I asked him if he was flirting at a bar with some girls. (He had a VERY extroverted, flirtatious, syrupy personality and tended to chat people up and connect with them very easily). He blew up on me in the bar, the first of many times he’d scream at me in public. Some of my friends who didn’t know him asked some of my other friends at the bar, “Who is this random guy and why is he yelling at her like this?” We left the bar and went home, and the argument continued. I asked him to leave and he didn’t. I said, “What awful thing can I do to you to make you leave?” And he said, “Go ahead, punch me in the face. Do it! Do it!” I tapped him in the balls. He called me a “fucking cunt” then spit in my face.
The spitting on my face was probably the first thing that broke that “amazing bond/connection/relationship” for me. I felt empty after that. I felt like how could this man who had been so incredibly amazing to me, so wonderful, unlike anyone I had ever dated, who treated me like a princess and kissed the ground I walked on… actually spit on my face? I felt it was a borderline abusive action. I found myself wondering, how could I stay with someone who spit on my face, get married to them, have kids with them? But I loved him, I loved him so completely and trusted him so much, I stayed with him and we tried to work through it.
But it was the first of many worsening cracks that appeared. Conflicts or any time I’d bring up something that had upset me, would often lead to him screaming at me in restaurants, in public, on the street. I told him repeatedly that screaming at me in public was a dealbreaker for me, that I didn’t want to live my life like that. One time, he slammed his fist down at a restaurant and started screaming at me. The people sitting at the table next to us kept looking at us and muttered “Someone has an anger management issue…” There were times he screamed at me in the street and random strangers and passersby would glance at me with concern, as if they wanted to say, “Are you okay…?” Once, we were in a cab and he got upset that I had wanted to stay with my friends longer at a bar before going to meet his friends for dinner. He blew up on me, and jumped out of the moving cab and ran into the street. The cab driver pulled aside after this, and told me to leave this man who had no respect for me and that “It will get worse 10 years down the line.” I will always remember that moment and that cab driver who was concerned about me. All of this scared me, but D kept telling me it was my fault. That if I wasn’t so “negative,” I wouldn’t be ruining our relationship and things would calm down.
It was about a year in that he also began to detach emotionally. I felt discarded, like he had placed me on a pedestal during the first year then knocked me off it. That's the only way I've been able to describe it. I had told him that after the spitting on my face incident and the rage/anger issues, I wasn’t sure about committing to him long-term… that I was scared he had those issues. He told me he decided to pull away emotionally because I was “unsafe” and uncommitted. But the yelling and screaming didn’t stop, the refusing to talk out any of our issues. He stopped having sex with me. He started hiding his phone and computer from me, and messaging women on Facebook. He stopped wanting to do the things we always did — when I’d ask him to go on a walk, or a hike, or go to yoga, or anything fun with me, he refused and would often get upset with me and say I was “too demanding.”
There were times when I tried to initiate having sex (there was one point, about 2 years in, where we had sex a total of 3 times in one year) and he told me I was being sexually abusive. When I told him how discarded and devalued and hopeless and depressed I felt, he told me I was being abusive by being demanding and negative. That I couldn’t let go of the past. I lost weight and lost sense of myself and lost any confidence in myself. I started blaming myself for everything. I wracked my brain trying to figure out how to make things go back to that phase where he would tell me I was the most amazing person in the world to him and we had an incredible, healthy, present, loving relationship. It was like he had turned into a completely different person entirely! I still can’t comprehend it.
When I’d state some things that had upset me, it would often quickly devolve into an argument where he’d threaten to commit suicide if I left him, or threaten to commit suicide in general. That was another big thing that happened frequently and really made me feel empty and dead inside. Sometimes, he'd threaten to kill himself during an argument then run out of the apartment with no shoes on and run into the street/threaten to run into the highway, making me run after him at midnight to try to stop him.
When I was 25, I decided to go on a solo trip traveling in Europe for a few months, which had been my dream for a while and I had talked about with D since I met him. I wanted to stay committed and in a relationship with D, but he was very upset that I wanted to travel alone and told me I was “abandoning him.” Things got even worse when I left to travel. He refused to put in any effort to FaceTime me, or chat with me, which I wanted to do nightly. He wouldn’t respond to texts and would tell me how his friends said I was a bad girlfriend for leaving him. That I was being immature for wanting to travel, that I should want to move in with him instead. He made me question myself and made me believe that at 24-25, I shouldn’t be taking any time to explore myself. I felt absolutely awful, empty, hollow, like a shell of myself.
STILL, he told me I was the abuser. He threw that word around at me so many times, it really must’ve embedded in me because I began to believe him even though I found myself lashing out more and more in desperation trying to understand what had happened in our relationship, why he seemed to have emotionally discarded me after such an intense, amazing happy phase.
After I returned from Europe, I asked for us to go on some one-on-one dates together to work on our relationship and be present with one another. These days, he rarely looked up from his phone while he was with me. He was always texting someone, but never told me who it was, and anytime I’d ask, he’d blow up on me and tell me I was insecure and jealous. He hid his phone from me. His messages were filled with random phone numbers, no names. I always kinda felt like he was starting to message girls at this time, but he had everything on such intense lockdown to prevent me from seeing anything and denied everything vehemently, so I would never know.
I then got a job offer in another city. I was very torn, but felt it was the right step for my career after 3 years at my previous job. D even encouraged me to take it, saying he’d follow me there and we’d move in together in a house there, that he was sick of NYC anyway. I took the job and moved there. Very quickly I regretted it. I was isolated from my friends and from D, and he started telling me he couldn’t do long distance. He refused to call me or answer my calls. He would sometimes disappear after 5pm, and not text me back until the next afternoon to tell me he was severely hungover and had gone out the night before. He never really told me who he was out with. I began to have severe anxiety and hysterical crying breakdowns in my car alone, feeling like he was cheating on me, feeling more discarded than ever before. I came back to NYC several times to visit him, and things felt off and I felt like he continued to be detached from me. I asked him several times if there was something going on, if he was cheating on me, if he wanted to see other women, and he constantly denied it and yelled at me, told me I was insecure and crazy.
A few months later, I invited him home to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving. He was the first boyfriend I had ever invited home. We had a nice time and he charmed everyone and washed the dishes. But none of the unresolved issues had been fixed. I felt he was still detached, treating me like shit, that I was having a hard time trusting he was being loyal to me. He had started lying about little things and covering things up on his social media. For example, a lady friend of one of his bandmates had asked him to hang out with him one-on-one and he hadn’t told me about it. I found she had posted a photo of them getting ice cream on Instagram and she had tagged him in it, but he had removed it from his tagged photos so I wouldn’t see it. Of course, the hiding stuff was still all my fault; he told me it was because I got too upset when he hung out with other girls.
He said he was planning on moving to my city to move in with me. I didn’t feel great about it, because none of the issues had been resolved: the lack of honesty/transparency, the fact he was always lying or hiding his phone from me, the anger, the lack of effort on his part to go on dates, have phone calls, have sex. The thought of moving in with him when he refused to talk anything out, stressed me out. I brought this up to him one night — I said I’d like to talk through some of our issues before he moved in with me. He flipped out on me, blew up on me… and disappeared that night, refusing to respond to texts. I found out later he had gone out and gotten super drunk with his friends.
A short time later, I got a friend request from a random girl in NYC. She immediately messaged me and told me D was on Tinder messaging her asking her out for drinks. She sent me a screenshot of the messages, him using a photo I had taken of him for his profile. She said she had looked him up on Facebook and saw he was in a relationship and wanted to warn me. She said he had also told her I was a “crazy ex” when she had asked. I was completely devastated, but also felt almost a sense of relief, that all this build-up meant I wasn’t crazy. He had gaslit me for so long, and I finally had proof that he was cheating, or at least looking to cheat.
He begged me to talk to him and begged me to work things out. He told me he was sorry, that it was only a one time thing, that he never met up with anyone. He said he did it because he was mad at me for not wanting to move in with him and wanted validation from other women. Stupidly, I was willing to keep trying and make things work. I asked him to please come visit me if he wanted to make things work. He didn’t come visit me for 4 months. That entire time I was walking around with a hole in my chest, and would end up crying on the weekends after going out and wake up with mascara streamed down my face. Sometimes he wouldn’t even text me all day and just send me one text at the end of the day. I kept begging him to come visit me and work things out, and he kept pushing it off and told me I was too demanding and he wanted to hang out with a girl who was "chill and cool and wanted to talk about normal things like books."
Finally, I went to see a therapist at one of my lowest points. She convinced me to take a step away from D, to focus on myself and to let him be whatever he was doing right now, which wasn’t being a boyfriend to me. I decided to take a step away from him and actively try to get myself to a better place. I stopped texting him or begging him to visit. I told him I needed space. I put my phone away and just focused on rest and getting things done at work.
I couldn’t comprehend that the amazing, loving, incredible, fun, energetic person I had met at first, who called me his light and his angel and that I had “saved” him and I was the most amazing girl he had ever met, who was so devoted to me and so supportive of all my dreams, could turn into someone completely unrecognizable who could actually do this to me. I honestly still can’t. I’ve never met anyone who could be both such extremes at the same time: Who could be both my dream guy, but also my nightmare later on. It’s what has made him so hard to move on from.
Eventually, he came back around and the moment I started pulling away to focus on myself, he came back to try to salvage things. I still loved him so I let him come visit me 4 months after the Tinder event. He convinced me to try again, told me he was sorry, that he was wrong, that we could learn from this and move forward. I tried again. This time, he wanted to move in with me again, and though all the red flags I had lived through were screaming at me to end things, I let him move in with me. It only lasted about a month. I didn’t feel ready, and it must have been obvious to him. He packed up and left again and went back to NYC. We agreed we’d try to stay together until I was able to move back to NYC, which had been my goal anyway.
Another year and a half went by. After starting therapy post-Tinder, I was no longer as devoted to him as I had been before that incident. Tinder had completely broken my trust. I felt I couldn’t trust things he said or did anymore, even though he started treating me a bit better after Tinder. I stopped caring or expecting anything from him. Deep down I knew the trust was too broken for it to be repaired. It had been broken since he had spit on my face 4 years prior, and I guess because he was my first love, my first real boyfriend, the only person I thought I could see myself with… I couldn’t let go.
We went along in this in between state for a year and a half. We actually had a better relationship during that time than we had had for years. We just texted almost just as friends. He still never visited me, and at this point I no longer cared. I felt broken because of him, and still felt deeply devalued after everything that had happened. But I was starting to wonder if I’d be happier outside of him. I had gone 4 years not dating anyone else and barely having sex with him, and not talking to other guys. I was finally starting to become interested in other people. It became clear to me maybe I shouldn’t be in this relationship anymore if I was starting to develop small crushes on other guys I saw / came across.
I ended up meeting someone who I kissed at a bar one night. The next day, I told D and broke up with him. I told him I wanted to be free and have the option to hook up with other people if I wanted, because it had been so long that we had been in a proper relationship and things clearly hadn’t been working for a long time.
But we kept texting. He felt like he had lost me and kept trying to get me back. Even after I started dating this new guy and D started dating a new girl, he kept texting me saying he missed me, that he lost a good thing in me, that he was going to therapy now and he had changed, that he promised he’d be better to me if I gave him another chance… I told him I was trying to move on.
When I did finally move back to NYC, he convinced me to meet up with him in person. This happened about 8 months ago. I reluctantly agreed, but was wary, because I didn’t want to trigger any emotional breakdown. Things were fine at first, but it became intense quickly just being with him in person again in the old neighborhood where we had had our happiest phase, 5 years prior. I started crying outside the bar when saying bye to him. Seeing him had triggered old wounds and heartbreak. He looked at me the way he had looked at me when we first met. I thought for a moment: Was he for the first time being genuine? Maybe he had genuinely loved me after all? Maybe he really was sorry?
I went back home and to my current boyfriend (who btw, is normal and healthy and treats me with respect and with consistency, the opposite of D). But I couldn’t shake the feelings and heartbreak that had been re-opened by seeing D. I felt both all the love and light and amazingness we had felt when we first met, and the seemingly deep connection and love we still had — as well as the deep wounds and brokenness and confusion he had made me feel after years of lying, gaslighting, devaluing me, yelling at me…
The last 8 months, he has been texting me to “check in” while he was with his current girlfriend. While I was honest with my current boyfriend about D and I texting and meeting up that time, D did not tell his girlfriend he was meeting up with me. This made me believe he really hadn’t changed. I began to feel bad for his new girlfriend. He began telling me their relationship was falling apart, that she was “abusive and crazy,” that she “hated him.” He kept telling me that nothing had been my fault, that he had been wrong the whole time, that he had treated me like shit, and that he would be different if I gave him another chance. That he was never giving up on me, that I was “the one.”
He told me all of this for 8+ months. He then broke up with that girlfriend (“she was crazy and abusive, but she’s getting help”) and immediately went onto Hinge and started going on dates. He told me he was going to be “single for a year.” A few days later he messaged me saying he met someone new. That she was incredible, and amazing, they had amazing chemistry, that their futures lined up perfectly, that she was creative, and super cute, and smart. He pointed out her qualities that were similar to mine. I looked her up on social media and saw that she actually LOOKS just like me. This shook me to the core… I ended up crying for days after that and having a near emotional meltdown, even though I’ve been with my good stable boyfriend for 2 years now.
The old wounds of D going on Tinder, devaluing me, always looking for new options… reopened. I wondered why he couldn’t sustain the love we had, but was now finding someone new he could have that with instead. I felt like a broken toy he had messed with then discarded, only to pick up a brand new shiny toy who was naive, younger than me, innocent, untainted. Who didn’t resent him or distrust him the way I did now. I used to be to be the bright shiny new toy too…I remember it all so clearly and how he put me on a pedestal and told me I inspired him and encouraged him to be a better person, after he left his evil ex-wife, when I was 23, just a kid. I adored him back then.
Suddenly, after a year of telling me I was "the one" and none of it was my fault and he was in the wrong, he suddenly told me "actually you were the one who technically cheated on me and left me, I never cheated on you." The opposite of what he had told me when he was "so sorry" trying to win me back (and I had believed him and forgiven him). Suddenly, he no longer cared about me again -- literally this happened within a week of them starting to date. It was such a sudden flip, and it made me feel like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me again.
I’ve decided since then to cut him off entirely and block them both on social media. It’s too hard at this point to be reminded of what happened, and for him to give me emotional whiplash… to go from saying “you’re the one” for 8 months WHILE he’s with another girlfriend, to drop me like a hot potato the moment he meets a new better version of me: “Actually, never mind, I’d rather be with her than you. She’s amazing…” etc.
But now that I no longer talk to him, and have to grieve our relationship (and our friendship) all over again… I have found myself back in a bad dark place, where I begin to feel like it was all my fault. That maybe if I hadn’t traveled in Europe, or I had stayed in NYC and moved in with him… we wouldn’t have fallen apart. That maybe this new girl is better than me because she will be fully committed to him… maybe she will be his therapy, maybe she’ll “heal” him in a way I couldn’t, because I have my own faults and issues. Maybe because she’s social and happy and positive, they’ll work out and she’ll get the good version of him and she’ll live all the adventures I wanted to live with him.
In the meantime, I still feel broken over him. I’m doing virtual sessions with my therapist to try to move on. But it’s really hard. I still love him. My heart is still with him, wanting to be with him, still not comprehending that he’s not the amazing person he was when I first met him. I feel bitter and old and discarded… and that he’s found his new bright shiny toy. I feel awful. And I’m still not sure if I was the abused or abuser. I feel like understanding that would help me make sense of everything and whether I should blame myself or what I can learn from how I acted in this relationship.
TL;DR: Trying to move on from a complicated boyfriend who left me feeling broken, but struggling to figure out if I was the abused or abuser like he said I was.
submitted by alj238fahlksdj to emotionalabuse [link] [comments]


2020.09.02 18:00 RandomHypnotica 2019 Queer Pop Rate (MUNA / Shura / Clairo)

Hello popheads, and welcome to the 2019 Queer Pop Rate! I'm RandomHypnotica, one of your lovely co-hosts for this rate, along with the wonderful static_int_husp. As the unnofficial threequel in our series of Queer Rates, we're coming back with some fresh new sounds from our returning faves, and a new contender in the mix, it's bound to be an exciting rate!
Without further ado, here are the albums:
MUNA - Saves the World
After releasing their debut album “About U” in early 2017, MUNA supported Harry Style on his North American and European tour, and shortly after they began writing tracks for the project that would become “Saves the World”, a title that the band says represents “[that] saving yourself is the key to saving the world". The album explores themes of addiction, abuse and alienation in a fusion of alt-rock and modern pop. MUNA won the original Queer Synthpop Rate with “I Know a Place”, will they be able to come out on top again?
  1. Grow
  2. Number One Fan
  3. Stayaway
  4. Who
  5. Navy Blue
  6. Never
  7. Pink Light
  8. Taken
  9. Hands Off
  10. Good News (Ya-Ya Song)
  11. Memento
  12. It's Gonna Be Okay, Baby
Shura - forevher
In 2016, Shura released her debut album, “Nothing’s Real”, an album about anxiety, unrequited romance and being the outsider, something unexpected happened. She found love. “forevher” is written primarily about Shura’s relationship with her girlfriend and their long-distance conception. “forevher” covers everything from the initial pull of desire to recognizing the moment when the connection develops into something scarily meaningful: it’s a classic NYC-to-London love-story, but one told through the totally modern filter of dating apps, unanswered texts, and Skype chats. In the original Queer Synthpop Rate Shura came in as the runner up, but she attained the highest album average out of all 4 competing artists. Will she be able to achieve the win this time around?
  1. that's me, just a sweet melody
  2. side effects
  3. religion (u can lay your hands on me)
  4. the stage
  5. BKLYNLDN
  6. tommy
  7. princess leia
  8. flyin'
  9. forever
  10. control
  11. skyline, be mine
Clairo - Immunity
Clairo’s a name that anyone who followed music on the internet in 2017 has heard of. Her song “Pretty Girl” went viral and she quickly scooped up a record deal with Fader. In the following years she worked with Rostam Batmanglij (formerly of Vampire Weekend) to produce “Immunity”, her debut album. The album discusses all sorts of topics, mental health, sexuality, insecurities and illness, it’s an authentic and heartfelt experince that proves she’s more than just a “Pretty Girl”. Clairo’s a newcomer to the rate, but she managed to place the highest out of all of these artists in /popheads’s Top 100 Songs of 2019, will she be able to snatch the victory here too?
  1. Alewife
  2. Impossible
  3. Closer to You
  4. North
  5. Bags
  6. Softly
  7. Sofia
  8. White Flag
  9. Feel Something
  10. Sinking
  11. I Wouldn't Ask You

The Rules

  • Listen to every song listed below and assign each of them a score from 1 to 10. Decimals are allowed, but refrain from going past one decimal place - 7.5 is fine, 7.75 is not!
  • You may give ONE song a 0 and ONE song an 11. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. These should be reserved for your favourite track and least favourite track!
  • Rate all thirty-four (34) songs! If you skip any, your ballot won’t be counted (We will let you know if you do so you can remedy that).
  • Please use the pre-prepared link to submit your scores! Note that if you're trying to access on a mobile device or on the new reddit layout it may not work - as such, we have made it so the link will take you to old.reddit.com, and you should use a computer to send in your scores if possible! If it still does not work, a pastebin with the submission form is at the bottom of this post and may be copy/pasted into a DM if need be!
  • If you desire to change any scores after you’ve already submitted, simply message either of the cohosts (u/RandomHypnotica, u/static_int_husp) and we'll be glad to help!
  • We will be keeping an eye out for sabotage, and there will be a minimum average enforced for the albums. If you truly do have very strong opinions on a song or album, leave a comment explaining why and things will go over much more smoothly.
  • It is highly encouraged that you add a comment to your song ratings! Do this by adding a space after the score and then typing to your heart’s desire, like this:
    religion (u can lay ur hands on me): 10 The only religion I need is the one with lesbian vaping Pope Shura
  • You may also add comments for whole albums! You may do this by adding a colon to the album title in the rate form, like so:
    Album: forevher: I can’t believe she misspelled her own album title how embarasing
We can’t wait to see the results this rate brings, it’s sure to be a close race. Submissions will be due sometime mid October! If you need an extension, or have any questions, feel free to ask any questions in the comments, PM either of the cohosts, or find us in the popheads discord server!
Spotify Playlist
Apple Music Playlist
YouTube Playlist
Pastebin of submission form (in case the link below is not working)

Click here for the submission form!

submitted by RandomHypnotica to popheads [link] [comments]


2020.09.01 00:56 AlcoholEnthusiast [WTS] (Collection Sale) New & Used sz11.5-12 (Supreme, Asics, Vans, Janoski, Diamond, Nike Air Max 90)

Timestamp
Got a dumpster, cleaning out my whole house. Most of these shoes haven't been worn in 5+ years. Message me for more pictures. Some are deadstock, some have been worn a bit, all of them are in good condition
Asics Gel Lyte Rings Pack Red/Black sz 12 Deadstock $50
Diamond Supply Black Leather Marquise sz 11.5 8/10 $40
Diamond Supply Miner-Light Chocolate Leather 7 or 8/10 $35
Supreme x Vans Mike Carroll sz 12 8/10 $65
Nike Janoski Birch/Clear Jade Deadstock sz 12 $50 Sold to JanoskiHype
Nike Janoski Hay sz 12 9/10 $50 SOLD TO JanoskiHype
Vans Authentic Stained Denim x Kith sz 11.5 8/10 condition $50
Air Max 90 Infrared 2010 325018-107 sz 12 - minor scuff on toe, otherwise looks 10/10 to me. Must have just been worn around the house, don't see any tread wear $150
Vans Era 59 Black/Camo sz 11.5 Deadstock $50
Janoski Pacific blue sz 12 8 or 9/10 $50
I will split shipping on any of these (so probably $10 each or so). Check /mechmarket for trade history (50+). Please buy I'm trying to clean out my house. Message me for any addidtional pictures.
Please no reddit chat, just send a message. Or even better, AlcoholEnthusiast#3238 on discord.
Thanks!
edit
Most come with OG boxes, but a few dont. Diamond Brown Leather and Kith x Vans stained denim come in random Janoski Boxes.
Also, will be shipping in the shoe boxes, don't have any boxes around for double boxing
submitted by AlcoholEnthusiast to sneakermarket [link] [comments]


2020.08.23 02:45 overdue_panic 23/F need advice on finding roommates!

I'm going to be relocating to nyc from philly and im trying to not get paired with completely random people, would like to chat before hand for practical things like living style, pet allergies, furniture (dont wanna show up with 3 couches ya feel) etc
I downloaded nooklyn and tried messaging some people on there but idk people seem pretty unresponsive. are there other apps (or groups/reddit pages?) that people use more that i could try to find roommates on?
submitted by overdue_panic to NYCapartments [link] [comments]


2020.08.21 19:01 Starcrossednconfused Rekindled friendship with childhood friend(34M) gets the wrong idea and won't stop texting me (30F)

Short of it: A childhood friend(34M) and I (30F) rekindled a non-existent childhood friendship via a Linkedin direct message. We ended up meeting up for a couple drinks and then hanging out with my friends on the first hang out, but I had no desire to pursue anything romantic. We ended up hanging out the next day and he was trying to make the night romantic, but there was no spark for me. Reasons why I'm not into him: 1. he zones out when I speak 2. reminds me of my brother too much 3. I'm just not attracted to him physically, emotionally or spiritually. He is now texting me non-stop, and I have been responding because 1. he's pleasant to chat with 2. I feel bad bc he's going through some emotional issue, but the conversation has become ALL about him. He asks me questions, but instead of responding to my answer, he makes it about it. I feel like he's super self-absorbed and has this "woe is me" attitude. Mind you... he comes from a great family, super well-educated, has a successful and extremely lucrative career. I on the other hand got fired from my job, can't find a job, boyfriend dumped me, had to move out of my luxury apartment I shared with my ex-, lost my dog to my ex-, and living with my brother to get back on my feet. I know he's going through some emotional & mental issues and has shared some heavy stuff with me. I'm fine to keep chatting with him but I feel like he's sucking the energy out of me, and I THINK he thinks I'm feeling the same way he's feeling romantically. To make matters worst, he's starting to mansplain and douschy-ly joke about random things that don't sit well with me that he finds funny and cheeky. Ew....
My predicament: he's a childhood friend. I don't want to hurt him because I feel guilty for possibly leading him on. I'm in a good headspace and clearly he is not, and I want to be supportive. But I'm starting to feel like a crutch. How do I make this conversation more friend-like and make it clear to him I'm not interested.

-----

Long of it: A childhood friend(35M) and I (32F) rekindled a non-existent childhood friendship via a Linkedin direct message. I <3-ed an article he wrote and he messaged me eventually suggesting we grab a drink, which I agreed to. I just got out of a very serious relationship and was going on this "date" with no expectations. I was open to the possibility there could be a spark, and if there was I already decided in my head that I would make it clear that we need to be friends first. Not going to lie, I was excited to meet him. I had this idea, "fantasy", about who he was and what he was like. We are "childhood friends", but we never hung out in a small group, and I've never had a real conversation with him. I didn't know what he was really like. I just had an idea of what kind of person he "was" in our community of friends. He was a mystery to me, and I was excited to uncover and explore this mystery.
From the moment we met, the mystery dissipated. No fog or cloud remained. It was plain old joe standing right in front of me. Nothing inside tingled. He was clearly nervous, sweating. I was sweating because I felt like I had to entertain him to get through this drinks "date". I had already suggested for us to grab dinner with MY friends who lived in the area after we had drinks for an hour. I planned it like this so 1. my friends who just moved here could meet someone to potentially be friends with 2. it would provide a buffer if I was not feeling it. Honestly, the "date" went fine and it was pleasant, but I was not into it at all. I tried to be as lively and fun all because he was a friend at the end of the day, but he definitely seemed smitten.
He kept texting me after I got home and even suggested that we hang out again before he leaves for a month long business trip (2 weeks biz, 2 weeks quarantine). I said sure and we ended up hanging out the next day. I brought my new puppy to potentially use a distraction. To be very honest, I really liked the attention I was receiving from a guy. My ex- was pretty neglectful and super self-absorbed. I can say that even though I had nothing tingling inside, there was a bit of openness that maybe possibly there could be some sort of spark that was not apparent for me the first hang out. This date re-confirmed there was definitely nothing. He was pulling out all the stops and trying to be romantic, remembering random things I said the night before at dinner. Bought us ice cream to share. Suggested for us to get a bottle of wine and drink it on the pier looking at the NYC skyline. He definitely was going to try and put his arm around me at one point, which I mitigated by plopping my dog in between us and sliding away. The night ended awkwardly and I didn't want him to feel bad so I made my dog wave goodbye to him from my uber. He smiled and I can see his tense shoulders relax.
Once I got home, he texted me insinuating another hang out right before he leaves, but I ignored his proposition. He flew away the next day to COVID hotspots for work and is now texting me non-stop, and making an effort to keep the conversation going day after day. I feel like I've been trying to make nice and responding, but the parts of his personality that are mainly why I am not into him are coming out aggressively, and now I'm starting to get really annoyed. He sent me a Star Slate Codex article that seeming address his emotional issues, applicable to his situation and expected me to read it. Those articles are SO frreakin' LONG. I told him I was not going to reading it and not interested because of the babbling details of the author's prose, but he got the idea that it was too cerebral and intellectual for me, so he sent me another article by him telling me this probably is more accessible for me. LOL.
I don't want to be rude, ghost him or make him uncomfortable, but I'm not comfortable with how much he's texting me and want the conversation to become more friend-like and less girlfriend/boyfriend like. He's disclosing too much of his personal struggle and it's turning me off. This is stuff you talk about with you best friend or your significant other. I now am starting to feel guilty that I don't want anything romantic with him. Maybe I'm jumping the gun here, but all signs point to him wanting something romantic. I definitely feel very guilty for leading him on. I would love to be friends with him, but how do I drop the hint or redirect the tone of our conversation to be more casual and less intense.
submitted by Starcrossednconfused to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.08.21 02:00 Nanner4392 28 [M4F] NJ/NYC/Online - Slightly Used 1992 Boyfriend Now On The Market; Like New Condition!

Looking for highly motivated individuals to act on this one of a kind model up for consideration on the market. Local appraisers have been dumbfounded as to why this unique guy has been looked over for so long!
Ladies, this is a once in a lifetime deal. Better act fast!
Key Points of Value:
- One of only a few Passiontm branded engines. What it lacks in horse power, it makes up for in pure reliability.
- Dimensions are 5'7" and an estimated total gross weight of roughly ~165lbs (give or take the amount of fuel). While not a sports model, this ain't a minivan by any means.
- White painted exterior with a dark brown tinted roof.
- Well traveled: This model has been to number of different countries and is more than equipped to venture to more. Contact us for details regarding travel history. Can go off-roading or stay close to the cities.
- Fueling options include but not limited to the following: Beer, Whiskey, Pizza, Steak Sandwiches.
- Included in the storage compartment are various video games, a few collections of short stories, as well as a some of Criterion Collection blu-ray discs.
- One of only a few models to include an AI system to chat with you about meaningless (or meaningful) subjects while you drive. Topics include: History, random trivia at odd times, etc.
- Also included in the stereo system are some playlists, with music from artists by: Bright Eyes, Wilco, Felice Brothers, The War on Drugs, Bruce Springsteen, The Budos Band, and many more!
- Versatile gear box that allows for both comfort at home as well as a night out on the town.
Some points of consideration:
- While only lightly driven, the previous owners had caused only minor damages (mainly to the interior, which is comprised of Pridetm branded upholstery) , but otherwise in good-as-new condition.
- Used to have a defect with the headlights and windshield (lights and vision were blurry), but has since been fixed for over a year without the use any exterior attachments.
- Typically runs better in warmer times of the year (Spring, Summer).
- Engine ignition may take a few tries to open up, but timing will vary between owner.
- Licensed drivers of 21-30 years of age, and those with a humorous temperament, are recommended. Prior driving experience not required.
Interested parties may direct message us for availability. Additional lines of communication may be provided after trust has been built. Contact us for any other questions you may have.
Trade-ins are also a option for negotiation. Pictures can be provided upon request, and trade in offers may also provide their vehicle pictures as well.
Please note that shipping options are currently limited to within a ~30 mile area of Northern NJ and NYC. In addition, delivery may vary due to the current world-wide pandemic.
However, we are also open to inquires from avid collectors no matter where they reside.
submitted by Nanner4392 to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.08.13 03:05 Shalorb 27 [M4F] - NYC/Nearby - Looking for my post-quarantine partner in crime!

Hi there, thanks for checking out my post. I hope that you're staying safe and well during this zombie apocalypse! I am hoping to find someone who I can chat on here a while and then maybe move on to a messaging app with the final intention of hanging out in real life after all of these craziness are over, which is why I'm only looking for someone in the NYC area or nearby.
About me:
Looking for:
What I am hoping to see from your first DM:
Finally - Please at least make an effort to hold our conversation, I will never understand why some people on here reply with one-word answers and never ask questions. I have absolutely no problem of dropping the conservation if I find myself to be the only one holding the conversation. And please don't use the lame excuse "but I just suck at messaging." Because if that's the case, then I can guarantee you that we're not gonna match. Sorry to sound rude but I just don't want to waste each other's time.
submitted by Shalorb to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.08.06 03:25 fatsoda Anyone still having problems with Australian matchmaking?

I do answer the call, as a group finder and i cant get match for what seems like hours. I do random activity and the same thingI switch between NYC and WDC and nothing. Tyring to get a match for a mission is pointless
I would love a feature to change my chat / matchmaking server to the US/UK/Europe or China. I would vastly prefer to deal with a ping of 300+ and slight dealys on VOIP than having no ability to make a match and find a team.
submitted by fatsoda to thedivision [link] [comments]


2020.07.30 06:15 ZambieCrambie77 27[F4M] NYC/NYC area: Artistic nerdy type seeking to find a connection with charming conversation and a nice smile

I guess to start, a bit about me: I’m 5’6” and I look like this.
Im a professional animator with a nice steady job and a 2 bedroom apartment for myself and my cat 😸 I always have little artistic side projects going on during my down time, from cross stitch to pencil drawings and sometimes even little paintings. When I’m not workin on lil art stuff, I’m usually immersing myself in all kinds of media. Movies, shows, cartoons, anime, the occasionally video game (I love them, but I’m not a great player, I much prefer watching others play), I love it all. Although most of my day-to-day hobbies are pretty solitary, I’m actually a very extroverted person. I’m loud and playful, and before COVID I participated in plenty of group activities. Co-ed softball, drinking and boardgames with friends, and running D&D games. I’ve been DMing for the last two years and I love it. It gives me the chance to be loud, go wild, and tell a story with people I care about. Outside of my interests, I’m a pretty empathetic and “unique” person (for lack of a better word). I’ve been dying my hair fun colors for over 10 years, I collect postcards and dragon figures, and I love horror movies/media. I often put others' needs and emotions before my own (to a fault), but am very straightforward once I get to know you. I’m passionate about current social issues (lgbtqa+ rights, the BLM movement, universal healthcare, women’s rights to name a few). I take a lot of pride in pushing myself to try new things and improve myself on a regular basis. I bring this up because although I’m a plus size woman, I’ve lost 35lbs this year and I plan to keep that up into the following year! I’m a go getter that doesn’t fuck around 🤘
I’m looking to find someone I can connect with and maybe get to build some sort of relationship with! Someone between 25-31 who can keep a conversation going about lots of different things! I often find good conversation to be the most attractive thing about a guy. Nerdy similar hobbies is a plus (If I could ever play D&D with you thats just a dream come true). I love when people are passionate about something and can share that with others, and that’s what I look for in a partner. Show me something new! Show me your favorite movie, I’ll cook you my favorite dish, take me to your favorite city hangout, I’ll drag you to some weird escape room I randomly found on the internet! I’m hoping to meet someone who has their life together and is looking to share it with someone just as fun and interesting as they are.
If I sound like fun and this sounds like you, send me a message with a little bit about yourself (and a photo please! I wont act like your appearance isn’t important to me, because it is 🤷‍♀️). I’m really only looking for someone in the NYC area that I can eventually meet for a date when COVID calms down a bit more (I’ve done long distance before and I’m not looking to do it again). Happy to video chat, text, and call before then though of course! 💖
submitted by ZambieCrambie77 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


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